II Corinthians 5:7 - "Hold Onto Me"

Yesterday was such a beautiful day! The weather was perfect for the butterfly release! As I looked around and saw people crying, I prayed for healing in their souls. The 'pastor' part in me wanted to pray with all of them. I talked with a few before the ceremony but I wish I would have asked them if I could pray with them. I was on edge myself with it being my first time doing it. I wasn't sure how I would do emotionally. I didn't know if I would cry, laugh, etc. I was so thankful Cait and the kids were able to go with me when Amy's plans changed. It was definitely not something I wanted to do alone. God is so good at providing exactly what I need. It was so cool how this event came along after my restoration time began. The transformation in me is like that of a caterpillar to a butterfly. My faith is stronger today because of how the Lord has worked in and through me over these last few months. It is stronger today because He speaks to me and I have the desire in my heart to walk in obedience to Him. Woo hoo! I am so grateful for my relationship with Him. I am grateful for Saturday nights when He has me praying for pastors. Last night before going to sleep I prayed for pastors who would feel like a failure at the end of the day today. They will be ridiculed for doing too much for Mother's Day in the service and they will be ridiculed for not doing enough. The saying of 'hurting people hurt people' will rear its ugly head today. The enemy will go through many open doors today due to people focusing on themselves instead of God. My heart breaks for all pastors in situations such as today. It breaks for those who are hurting too. During the night God woke me once to pray for those who will stay away from church, normal activities, etc. because of the hurt of this day. He had me pray for them to realize He desires to transform them but for that to happen they have to desire a change. Another time He woke me to pray for those who will not even have the day acknowledged to them by their children. He had me pray for soothing in their soul and for them to remember He is with them while they are here on earth and for eternity. Matthew Henry writes of this Scripture:

The happiness of the future state is what God has prepared for those that love him: everlasting habitations, not like the earthly tabernacles, the poor cottages of clay, in which our souls now dwell; that are mouldering and decaying, whose foundations are in the dust. The body of flesh is a heavy burden, the calamities of life are a heavy load. But believers groan, being burdened with a body of sin, and because of the many corruptions remaining and raging within them. Death will strip us of the clothing of flesh, and all the comforts of life, as well as end all our troubles here below. But believing souls shall be clothed with garments of praise, with robes of righteousness and glory. 

Yes! I desire to be clothed in garments of praise! I desire to wear robes of righteousness and glory! I desire to not allow the calamities of life steal my joy in Him! Woo hoo! I know the only way God was/is able to restore my life is through the desire of my heart to be changed. I am so thankful for this desire. I do not want to wallow around in self-pity. I want to feel alive in Him. I do not want to miss any opportunity He puts before me but instead desire to be focused on Him. I could be crabby if I were to think of being alone on this day with no one to celebrate it with or I can be thankful I am still alive. If people say hurtful things to me today, I have the choice of loving them with God's love or giving the enemy an open door. I know I desire to choose God! I am thankful He holds me in His arms at all time.

Hold on to me when it's too dark to see You
When I am sure I have reached the end
Hold on to me when I forget I need You
When I let go, hold me again

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the way You loved on me yesterday! Thank You for Cait and the kids going with me to the butterfly release when Amy's plans changed! Thank You for restoration in my physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all my spiritual life! May You continue to transform me into who You desire me to be. May You be greater than the hurts of life today in all of our lives. May people desire to allow You to be their focus over what the enemy tries to do in this day. Thank You for being with my Momma with a successful surgery and now with rehab! May You continue to be her strength. I pray Your strength over all who are hurting today as the day can cause such hurt. May You be greater than the hurts of the heart. Lord, I pray for the family with the recent death of their loved one. May they accept Your comfort. I continue to pray for Little Ivy's family; my sister Linda; Pastor Karen and Val's families; and so many who are going through difficult days. May all remember You are here for them and desire to be their strength. Lord, may You especially be with pastors today to remember You are the Only One we are to please. May we all remember Your wisdom is ours when we accept it. I pray for a cleansing in my soul so I can be more focused on You. May You ooze out of my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a mighty way. May Your love show through me more than ever before. Lord, I need You in abundance. I need more of Your wisdom and strength in days that seem to be so trying. I need more of Your love so people will experience You for eternal life. Thank You for all the ways You love on me through people, the beauty of Your creation, etc! Thank You for putting Rickey in my life who encourages me greatly! Thank You for the hug yesterday from my neighbor Sarah and visits with many neighbors! You are so, so good to encourage me. Thank You for being The One To Hold Me! Amen.