II Timothy 1:7 - "Goodness of God"

Some days are just plain out harder than others especially when you are a widow. It is hard to go through life without having someone special doing life by your side. Friends are great but it is not the same as having a spouse. Doc and I were married for almost thirty-one years. In that time we made a lot of memories doing life together. He did well at following in my Dady's footsteps with loving on me. I miss being 'spoiled' by him. My Heavenly Father does well at 'spoiling' me but it is not the same as having someone by your side doing it. God often speaks to me through nature. The one day when I took this picture of this flower He told me I was as beautiful as it. Another day when He brought a single dolphin before me He reminded me the dolphin was alone yet enjoying life. Last Christmas He spoke to me as I walked on the beach about how He knows the amount of the sand on the shore and cares for each grain just as He cares for me. I know God loves me and I know He is always with me but my heart still aches in loneliness. Last night I ended up with a migraine so I went to bed earlier than normal. I was awake a few times and prayed for pastors who would be in the pulpit today. I prayed for myself in not knowing how emotional the day ahead would be. Two years. Wow! In some ways it seems like yesterday Doc was here doing life with me and in other ways it seems so long ago. Sometimes I wonder if he would be pleased with the decisions I have made since he took his last breath on this earth. Would he think I was doing good or disappointed in me? How would he feel about the way I pastor? Am I making sound financial decisions? All kinds of questions come into my mind. I often wonder what my Daddy would think about me if he were still alive. But I must remember the most important One I need to please is God. The more I lean into His strength the more I will realize what He has for my life. The more I listen and walk in obedience to Him the more I will be blessed. How I live my life today will determine how I live my life for eternity. I loved hearing the story of little Nick telling his teacher about heaven and hell. It made me proud as his Sunday School teacher/pastor to know he is being a sponge to what is said. Even when I may feel like I am not making much of a difference on this earth God reminds me I am. He also continues to remind me of II Timothy 1:7. I do not have to fear the days ahead but instead need to allow Him to empower me to be who He has called me to be. Praise His Holy Name! The Lord has "Goodness of God" on my heart again this morning...

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
And in darkest night You are close like no other
I've known You as a Father
I've known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God, yeah

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead today! Thank You for my visit with Jenn, Jed, and Clay! It was so neat to see Clay's excitement over the gators, turtles and birds! Thank You for my time with Dan and Debra! Thank You for all the ways You love me through 'tough' days! It is so hard to believe it has been two years since Doc took his last breath on this earth. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday and others times it seems like it has been a lifetime. I pray continued strength in my physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all my spiritual being. I pray for more of You and less of me. Cleanse me to make this happen. I pray for pastors who will be in the pulpit this morning to preach boldly what You have given them. I pray for emotional strength for myself as I am in the pulpit. Thank You for going before me and providing what I need! I pray Your peace over many going through difficult days. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; my brother Richard; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Cait; Beth; Mike; Norma Hall; Sharon Sebolt and her parents; some young ladies with anxiety; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; Rhonda; Mary Lilley; a husband/father separated from his wife; Brooklyn; Kristen Batten; Amber; families in turmoil; Gay and Doug; Sandy; Rick; Cyndi; Serenna and her husband; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c' and/or going through treatments...Sharon's daughter Ashley; Chrissy's cousin; Shirley Jones; Preacher Bill Watts; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Little Ivy; Little Judson; Alex's niece; a young girl in our community; a lady whose breast cancer has returned; a lady diagnosed with stage two breast cancer; and Sue Danhoff's husband Harv. I pray for: the Long Family, Vickie and her son Jim, Becky, Ken, and Russ. Thank You for continued strength for Baby Henry and Alex's brother who was in a car accident! Thank You for being My Heavenly Father! Amen.