As I went back into the scan yesterday, he was explaining what was going to happen and I thought 'boy am I glad I have been through this type of thing before with my MS.' I can't even begin to imagine how scared people are who have never gone through such things. Then I almost laughed out loud at that thought. Here I was putting up a praise for my MS. Doc said he could hear the technician and I laughing clear from the outer office. Last night when we were downtown I was so happy to see my favorite surgery nurse Nancy. In our conversation she said the last time I was in the other nurses were asking why we were laughing when I was in there because of C. Her reply was, "Why not? It helps!" The old saying of 'laughter is good medicine' is so true. Yes there are times I cry but there are also times I laugh, especially when I know others will see the Lord's strength in me through my laughter. I think of Nehemiah 8:10 when Nehemiah told those who had heard and understood the reading of the Law what they were to do. They no longer had to be grieving over being in captivity but could rejoice in the Lord. That is exactly what I need to remember. I do not have to be held captive by C. I need to be joyful in knowing His strength is my strength. When I accept His strength and not allow C to be a distraction, He will be glorified. That is what I ultimately desire...the Lord to be glorified! I took this picture in front of the cancer center Thursday before my appointment. As I look at it this morning, I see a beautiful flower and lots of buds. I will be that beautiful flower that will allow people (buds) who do not know Him to come into relationship with Him. I also will be one to show those who already are believers how to have His peace through such tough times. The only way to have complete peace is through living a life of holiness. That sounds impossible to a lot of people because they don't want to give up 'things' but when one gives total control to the Lord the peace comes in abundance even in situations such as C. I was so disappointed when I left my Thursday appointment. I thought I would have a detailed plan of treatment. NOT! Then when I left my Friday appointment once again I started to be disappointed and then it hit me. 'I' was coming into play. 'I wanted to know'....whoops! I prayed for the Lord to give me peace in not knowing the weeks ahead. Doc told me something my Mother told me a few weeks ago about how I always want to plan ahead. That is a good thing when the Lord is in charge but not when it is just what 'I' want. I was so hoping to know this week when we would be able to go to Ohio to have Christmas with family. Even though that is still unknown I have peace because I know it will happen someday. It may be January or February but it will happen. The Lord taught me years ago celebrations do not have to happen on a certain day. When the Israelites who were no longer captive gathered in Jerusalem and heard the Law, Nehemiah told them to be joyful. They no longer had to be dealing with being in exile but instead needed to accept the Lord's strength in the days ahead. I have refused to be captive to MS for twenty-two plus years and I refuse to be captive to C. My God is greater than C just as He has been greater than MS. Woo hoo! I like the way Nehemiah says to celebrate..."choice food and sweet drinks"...yep, BBQ and sweet tea...one of the perks to living in the south! What a blessing to have friends treat us yesterday to it!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for being the strength in not only my physical body but most importantly in my spiritual body. Thank You for last night with the downtown event. It was so much fun to walk around with Crackers and hand out candy and our church information. It was also hard physically and I am thankful You enabled me to have the strength to do it. Lord, my desire is to be that 'beautiful flower' that enables the 'buds' to bloom. I pray for You to be glorified in all I do. Lord, fill me to overflowing with more of You so people will see and hear You in me. Thank You for tough times that draw me closer to You! Thank You for MS and C that enable me to become more aware of what You desire of and for me! Thank You for being My Strength! Amen.
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