Throughout the night when I woke, I prayed for Doc and these tough days. The lyrics to a song Matt Mahrer sings were in my mind every time...
Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
Day after day, night after night
I will remember, You're with me in this fight
Although the battle, it rages on
The war is already won
I know the war is already won
Doc had such a horrible night with pain. This is so hard to go through. I am thankful for the reminder that God's love is with us. It 'defends me' through the junk of life. He never leaves us but instead is fighting this battle we are going through. It still is so hard to believe I went through a battle with C and now Doc is going through one. It just does not make sense. As I told Doc last evening it is going to be OK. God is with us. He already knows the outcome of this situation. No matter what the results of today's Pet Scan, it will be OK. If they are 'bad,' He will get us through. If they are 'good,' we will rejoice. But no matter what the results are we will love Him and not quit leaning into His strength. C is not something we would have chosen but we will choose God to get through it. We must remember God is not the One who spoke this disease over us. I have heard the diagnosis out of four different doctors mouth over the last three weeks but I have not heard it from God. Once again, I am rebuking it. I am standing in the knowledge that God heals and will heal Doc. I truly believe his healing will come in life and not death. I am also standing on that. God has given me a peace throughout these days. I still have my times of tears. I still have my times of being tired and drained, especially when I watch him in pain and struggling. But I have a peace that has replaced the fear the enemy was putting upon me. No matter what is ahead, it's OK. "Although the battle, it rages on...The war is already won." God knows the ending to this journey. Woo hoo! He knows. I do not have to know because He knows.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the encouragement I felt from the doctor in Charleston yesterday. Thank You for the care everyone at his office, including him, gave. Thank You for safe travels and Doc being able to drive. Thank You for the appointment today for the Pet Scan. Father, I pray You will give Doc exactly what he needs to get through these tough days. Cleanse us so You can fill us. That is what we both need to lean into You instead of allowing the enemy to put fear into our spirits. Lord, be with Jennifer who is in the military and lost so many fellow soldiers to suicide. May she draw near to You for comfort and strength. Be with her as she makes decisions with her career. I also continue to pray for Jim and family with the loss of Sandie; Tim and Connie with his accident; Mike with his wife's alcoholism; Kandi as she is going through testing; and two pastor friends going through tough days. Lord, may You be so real to each one of these ones. I was so blessed last night to hear of an answer to my prayers for one of the families I have been praying for. Thank You Jesus for being The One To Defend Me! Amen.
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