The 'waiting room' can be a tough place to be. When one is in it, they have a choice to make. They can wait in peace from God or they can listen to the enemy's lies and be in a state of worry. They can be crabby or they can be joyful. The circumstances may be a matter of life or death but if they lean into God they will be able to wait with confidence that the end result will be His will. I am choosing God as we are in the 'waiting room' for the MRI results. I know many are praying for us. I can feel the prayers. I know God already knows the results and in that I am at peace. The prayers people are sending up are keeping my emotions pretty stable. My exegetical paper is coming along very nicely and I was able to study for my final some yesterday. I struggled a bit with feeling like all I wanted to do was lay down after the MRI but I did not give into it completely. I rested for a bit and then would get up and do something, rest a bit and get up and do something. I am grateful for the nine hours of sleep God provided last night. He woke me up once to pray but He didn't give me a specific person to pray for. He had me pray for 'children.' I prayed for every situation I could think of where children were going through tough times and then I fell back asleep. I miss my grand babies so much. I see pictures of people holding their grand babies and my heart yearns to do so. I think about my Grandmas who only saw me a couple times a year and yet I knew they loved me. I sure do hope my grand babies know I love them. I pray for them to know Jesus loves them and I pray for them to know I love them. This long-distance grand parenting is one I still have not adjusted to even after almost three years. It was this time three years that we were saying our goodbyes. As I reflect on those days, I don't know how I even had one tear left in me. What kept me from giving up was knowing we were walking in God's will. We continue to do so. Life has changed in so many ways over these last three years. Our comfortable life turned into a challenging life. Every aspect of life changed for us when we made this our home. There have been many 'waiting rooms' we have been in over these three years. Some with finances; some with health issues; some with wisdom for decisions; some with words to give people; and probably one of the biggest has been the one as we wait for the building to be completed. This 'waiting room' with Doc's MRI is a new one in many ways. It is the first time we have faced the possibility of C in his body. When we waited for the biopsy results of C in my breast, we were confident it was gone. The surgeon told us she thought she got it all and did not see anymore. Finding out I had to go into another surgery to have lymph nodes checked was a shock. But it did not shock God. He already knew just as He already knows the results of Doc's MRI. I can't even begin to count how many MRI's I have had but God knew the results of every one of them. There is comfort in that. There is comfort in knowing He goes before us and we have nothing to fear. He will never leave us. He is always with us. Therefore, we have nothing to fear. This 'waiting room' is the hardest one I think I have ever been in. It is so hard to watch Doc be in such pain and struggling to eat. Knowing what could be causing his pain to be terminal is another thing that is hard. We were talking yesterday about how we may not be able to have Tuesday night activities if he has to have chemo. As we talked, there were a lot of 'ifs' being said. We laughed and realized we were speaking as humans and not in the spirit God empowers us with. Today is God's day. His will needs to be walked in no matter what happens. His empowerment is the only way to live. The only way to live such a life is to live in His presence 24/7. I know what is on the schedule for today but He knows what will happen. I know the desires of my heart but the best part is knowing He does to. Not only does He know the desires of my heart but He will give them to me. They may not look the same or be in the same time as I desire BUT He will give them to me. Why? Because I am His daughter who loves Him with all my being. I am His servant who loves with His love. I am who He has called me to be. Woo hoo!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for waking me to pray for children last night. Thank You for the blessings of yesterday with the work on my exegetical paper, Doc's MRI being done, people praying for us, and the rest You provided. Father, today is a new day. I know what is on the schedule but You know what will happen. Will You cleanse me so You can fill me this morning? Will You empower me so I do not miss any opportunity to share Your love with all I meet? I praise You for the way You will go before me and keep my eyes open to all opportunities You put before me. I also praise You for the way You are and will continue to be with us in this 'waiting room' with Doc's MRI. Father, we trust You, love You, adore You, and depend upon You. Thank You Jesus for being Our Peace! Amen.
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