Another night of little sleep. I'm so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. As I went through the stack of doctor bills last night, I guess I am financially exhausted too. I feel like I just do not want to go through this day. I am "Worn" out. The words to Tenth Avenue North's song come to my mind this morning...
I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing...
There is a part that goes...
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
This is the point I am at this morning. I am crying out to God to empower me with His supernatural strength for these tough days. One time I woke up during the night from a horrible nightmare. I laid for a long time asking God to not let it be how my day goes today. I prayed for Him to bless all the people praying for us and for His will to be a complete healing for Doc. I asked Him to bless us with that sooner than later. I don't think I am asking too much but maybe I am. I thought I was strong but I feel like that is not so. In my mind I know He has everything under control but just as Mike said in Sunday School in our humanness we still fret. I don't want to give the enemy an open door into this situation. I must stay strong in my faith. I think of the words from "Confidence" and will strive to live them out throughout this day...
I'm not a warrior, I'm too afraid to lose
I feel unqualified for what You're calling me to
But Lord with Your strength, I've got no excuse
'Cause broken people are exactly who You use
So give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense
So I can face my giants with confidence
I'm gonna sing and shout and shake the walls
I won't stop until I see them fall
I'm gonna stand up, step out when You call
Jesus, Jesus
Can I be a warrior with this situation? YES, with His empowerment!
Can I face the giant of pancreatic cancer in Doc? YES, with His empowerment!
Can I "sing and shout and shake the walls" today? YES, with His empowerment!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for continuing to encourage us through these dark days! Thank You for people who are praying for us! Thank You for Tiffany who brought over a meal and gift card! Thank You for Paul's exciting news yesterday! Thank You for giving Doc strength to accomplish two projects yesterday! Thank You for giving me clarity to make a post yesterday and fill out paperwork! Thank You for getting two appointments set-up for Doc! Thank You for all the times of rest we had yesterday! Thank You for the words of encouragement from Mike. Father, there is so much to thank You for. I pray today for the doctors and all involved in the biopsy to have wisdom. I pray the results will be Your will. I pray Your will is that it has not spread. I pray for You to cleanse us so You can fill us. That is the only way we will be a beacon of light with Your love oozing out of us throughout this day. May You be greater than us. I also pray for Jim and his family with Sandie's service today. My heart breaks for them. I wish I could be with them to show them support but am grateful this biopsy is being done quickly. Today was the day I thought I would take my Final but I do not see that happening. Lord, I need clarity and I need time to study. I pray You will continue to guide us and love on us through so many people. Thank You for being Our Empowerment! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment