Last night was a weird one with little sleep. I did a lot of praying but I also struggled with my mind just not wanting to 'turn off' to enable me to rest. Tomorrow's CT scans for Doc... chemo...church building rehab...taxes...'regathering' of the church when coronavirus lessens...safety of family with the virus in our world...how to keep people connected to the church body when apart...if/when will we get a stimulus check...will the forms I submitted for the small business money go through for the church. There were so many things going through my mind. I prayed and asked God to keep the enemy out of my dreams because the night before I had some nasty ones that could have only come from him. I also asked God to quiet my mind so I could rest. I evidently was doing something wrong because my sleep was little and when I did finally go to sleep it was interrupted often. At the beginning of the night He told me to read Psalm 17 so I did in various translations. This is a prayer David wrote about how he desired to live in right relationship with the Lord. The first seven verses read in The Passion Translation:
1 Listen to me, Lord.
Hear the passionate prayer of this honest man.
It’s my piercing cry for justice!
My cause is just and my need is real.
I’ve done what’s right and my lips speak truth.
2 Lord, I always live my life before your face,
so examine and exonerate me.
Vindicate me and show the world I’m innocent.
3 For in a visitation of the night
you inspected my heart and refined my soul in fire
until nothing vile was found in me.
I’ve wanted my words and my ways to always agree.
4 Following your word has kept me from wrong.
Your ways have molded my footsteps, keeping me
from going down the forbidden paths of the destroyer.
5 My steps follow in the tracks of your chariot wheels,
always staying in their path,
never straying from your way.
6 You will answer me, God; I know you always will,
like you always do as you listen with love to my every prayer.
7 Magnify the marvels of your mercy to all who seek you.
Make your Pure One wonderful to me,
like you do for all those who turn aside
to hide themselves in you.
Hear the passionate prayer of this honest man.
It’s my piercing cry for justice!
My cause is just and my need is real.
I’ve done what’s right and my lips speak truth.
2 Lord, I always live my life before your face,
so examine and exonerate me.
Vindicate me and show the world I’m innocent.
3 For in a visitation of the night
you inspected my heart and refined my soul in fire
until nothing vile was found in me.
I’ve wanted my words and my ways to always agree.
4 Following your word has kept me from wrong.
Your ways have molded my footsteps, keeping me
from going down the forbidden paths of the destroyer.
5 My steps follow in the tracks of your chariot wheels,
always staying in their path,
never straying from your way.
6 You will answer me, God; I know you always will,
like you always do as you listen with love to my every prayer.
7 Magnify the marvels of your mercy to all who seek you.
Make your Pure One wonderful to me,
like you do for all those who turn aside
to hide themselves in you.
The desire of my heart is to fulfill the desires of His heart. Just as David was confident God heard his prayers so am I. He does not always answer our prayers in the way we desire. Sometimes His answer is not in 'our' timing or in the way we think life should go. We must realize that's ok because He knows what is best for us. Matthew Henry writes of this prayer:
Those that are, through grace, going in God's paths, should pray that their goings may be held up in those paths. David prays, Lord, still hold me up. Those who would proceed and persevere in the ways of God, must, by faith prayer, get daily fresh supplies of grace and strength from him.
I like the term faith prayer. My prayers are full of faith. They are full of hope. Last night as Doc was in pain I prayed with faith and hope that God would heal him. I asked God to take away the anxiousness of tomorrows CT scans and to give him a better day today. Oh how I pray those prayers will be answered in the manner I desire. But if they are not it will be ok. God will give us His empowerment to live through whatever is ahead in this day. I continue to stand upon II Timothy 1:7. This morning I have the song Holy Water going through my mind. I am grateful for God's forgiveness. I know I would not be where I am today if He had not forgave me when I walked away from Him. His forgiveness brings joy to my heart.
Your forgiveness
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Like holy water on my skin
On my skin
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Like holy water on my skin
On my skin
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for being with me throughout the night as I struggled! Thank You for our time with Ben's family last night through technology! It brings joy to my heart to interact with them. Thank You for loving on me so greatly that You forgive me when I don't do as You desire or when I miss an opportunity You put before me! Thank You for cleansing me this morning so You can fill me to overflowing with Yourself! May You be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts throughout this day in a more intentional way than ever before. Lord, I continue to pray for healing in Doc's body while he is on this earth. I pray today will be a day of less pain and less anxiousness over tomorrow's CT scans. Lord, be his peace. I pray for my Momma who lost a dear friend yesterday and a friend who is dealing with severe back pain to also feel Your peace. Father, I desire to feel more of Your peace in my spirit with everything going on. Give me Your wisdom with decisions that need made. Open my eyes to what You desire of me. Thank You for being My Holy Water! Amen.
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