When I woke up, I told God I wasn't doing today unless it was going to be better than yesterday. I could almost hear Him laughing at me. Some days are just harder than others. I am so distracted by Doc's pain and him being sick. I feel like life is just passing me by day by day without accomplishment of much. The webinar I watched Wednesday for pastors was good in encouraging me as a pastor but also in my personal life. It reminded me that I am not alone. God is with me. He has been here through almost a year of the storm of pancreatic cancer. In the last month or so He has been here through the COVID-19. He is always with us and when I stop and think about it I know it. Sometimes it is just hard to put one foot in front of the other to keep on going. I am thankful for the reminder from Scripture. II Timothy 1:7 encourages me to stand in His empower because of encouragement of Isaiah 43:2 that tells me He is with us.
He is also encouraging me this morning with the song I Am Not Alone...
When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear
Yes! Praise His Holy Name for being with us no matter what we go through! Praise His Holy Name for being our strength through tough days and nights! Praise His Holy Name for giving Scripture and songs that encourage us greatly! Plain and simple. Praise His Holy Name! During the night I was woke up three times with a sense of urgency to pray over Doc. Each time he was sleeping and I sure didn't want to wake him since he was having a tough night but I wanted to lay hands on him as I prayed. I asked God again for a healing in his body. I prayed for him to be healed from the tip of his head to the tip of his toes, sooner than later. In fact, I prayed and pleaded for his healing to happen now. I told God He would be glorified through our testimonies of his healing. I told God I believed He could heal him and I also believed He would. After the third time of this, I slept again without waking until morning. My heart is breaking as I watch Him go through his days in bed, sleeping a lot, eating little, etc. It breaks knowing I cannot do anything to change things for him. I feel so helpless but I am not hopeless. I know God is with us. I know He hears the cries of my prayers. I know He answers prayers every day and some day the prayers for Doc's healing will be answered. Plain and simple. I know. I know He loves me and is always with me. Praise His Holy Name! I love the words of Matthew Henry about the first few verses of Isaiah 43...
True believers are precious in God's sight, his delight is in them, above any people. Though they went as through fire and water, yet, while they had God with them, they need fear no evil; they should be born up, and brought out. The faithful are encouraged. They were to be assembled from every quarter. And with this pleasing object in view, the prophet again dissuades from anxious fears.
This reinforces II Timothy 1:7 along with Isaiah 43:2. I will be encouraged through these 'tough' days as I lean into Him. He is always here to empower me over anything that comes my way. I will not allow the enemy an open door through being crabby, complaining, etc. Instead I will stand in God's strength. As I look outside this morning, the sun is shining but I also know the Son is shining over us. Praise His Holy Name!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for hearing my prayers during the night for Doc's healing! I know it will come in Your time. Thank You for providing for the broken garbage disposal last night! Thank You for the encouragement we received from the video Anthony sent of him and MaryJo singing! What a treasure! Tears were falling as we listened. Thank You for putting them in our lives! Lord, today You have given us a new day. It is another treasure for us. Thank You for the 'extra' time we have due to the COVID-19 of doing a much slower way of life! Thank You for friends like Darrel who dropped off potatoes yesterday and Chris who is picking up a couple things at the grocery store today! You are so awesome in the way You provide! Thank You Lord for cleansing me so You can fill me with Your Holy Spirit! May You be seen/heard in my words, actions, thoughts, and attitude throughout this day. Lord, I don't want to allow the enemy any open door into our home. If I start to do or say something that would do so, please stop me. I pray Lee was released from the hospital and on the road of healing. I also continue to pray for Spencer as he was to be moved from ICU and for Pastor Coxwell and his daughter who have contacted the virus. Lord, I pray protection over those who experienced the tornadoes last Sunday and now are facing another round of storms. May they feel Your presence in a mighty way. May there be people who are around them that speak life to them through these tough days. Thank You for being the One Who Is Always With Me! Amen.
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