II Timothy 1:7; Psalm 91 - "Scars"

Yesterday the song "Scars" was playing and my mind started wandering. There is a part that goes...

I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, In Your feet
I found my victory
I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, In Your feet
I found my victory

I'm thankful for Your scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your hear
And with my life I'll tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful

Yes! God has delivered me so many times. I have emotional scars and physical scars. They both can be considered spiritual scars. 

• I have many emotional scars. The teasing I received when I was young because I was so fat makes me be more aware of those who struggle with their weight. Hearing the kids on the bus say to my sister and I, "Oh look! Baby whale and Momma whale are going home" will stay with me for the rest of my life. It also will remind me how bad words hurt. That would have been over fifty years ago yet I can hear it just like it was yesterday. Going through a divorce and feeling like I was no longer loved was another emotional scar I have. If I did not have that scar, I would not be able to minister to people who are experiencing the same. Going through the death of my earthly Daddy left emotional scars but I am thankful to know he is with my Heavenly Daddy. This is another scar that enables me to minister to people.

• I have physical scars from my c-sections and breast cancer. Those physical scars are also spiritual scars because I drew closer to God through them. He blessed me with my boys who made me a Mommy. When I see that scar, I think of how He blessed me on the day Paul was born with the most beautiful snowfall. This made me feel so special because He knew I loved it. It also made me feel special because it made me think of how He was blanketing the earth with His beauty just as He was blanketing me as a new Mommy. He brought us both through Paul's birth alive and I knew it was only through His hand of protection. When I was told I needed to abort Ben because he was going to be born with an open spine, people all over the world prayed and a month later the sonogram was fine. I heard "oh the technician must have made a mistake"...."oh it must have been just a shadow..." No, it was God. When he was born with a scar on his back that showed he was going to be born with an open spine, my spiritual life soared! The physical scar from my breast cancer reminds me of His love that saw us through those tough days. It also reminds me to pray for those who have cancer. The physical scars produced fear in my being but God gave me peace and strength to not just survive those times but to thrive through them. 

All of life produces scars. But the most important scars to remember are those Jesus had after being hung on the cross. The holes in His hands and feet were the scars that saved my life. They are the scars that heal any and all scars I have. As the song says, they deliver me. They show His love for me. They are my victory! I go back to those last verses of Psalm 91 and praise Him for His words showered upon me every day but especially on days of "scars"!

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for my "scars" that grew and continue to grow my faith! Thank You for taking 'bad' experiences and using them for Your glory! Father, I pray You will cleanse me so You can fill me today with more of You. I pray You will love on others through me today in a new, different way. Father, I am begging You to give Doc a better day today. The treatment this week was so hard on him. May today be a better day for him. May he feel Your presence so greatly. Lord, would You also help me to use my time wisely today? Would You help me to accomplish things instead of just laying around? There is so much to do and when I have a 'free' day I feel like I do not accomplish anything. If the accomplishment for the day is to rest, then give me the mindset to do so. Father, thank You for the friend who provided the gift card to get what Doc needed. What a blessing! Thank You for Chris who mowed our yard! Another blessing You have given us! Thank You for our friends who were in town this week and gave us the groceries they didn't use! Another blessing! May You bless each one of them in abundance for the way they were obedient to You! Thank You Jesus for being Our Victory! Amen.