God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control....God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control... I have repeated this verse along with Philippians 4:13 many times today. I've got the part down with not being fearful because I know God is in control. I also know His love will ooze out of me as long as I stay in His presence. The part I'm struggling with is the power/strength. I'm worn physically and emotionally. The tears do not want to stop. I asked Him to stop them but they just won't. I guess maybe He is using them to soothe me. I know my four-legged buddy would like them to stop. I think I will do what my Daddy use to do when life got tough. Pray and go to bed. He believed everything looked better after a nap or a good night's sleep. Since it has been many nights of little sleep a nap it is. God tells us in Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." My goal is for Him to be exalted through every word, every action, and my attitude throughout the days whether they be 'good' or 'bad' days. I cannot fulfill that goal if I am exhausted. When my surgeon saw me in the waiting room and found out what was going on, she told me I needed to take care of myself too. I assured her I was trying. Now I am going to align my actions with my words.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Doc's port going in successfully. Thank You for the conversation with a doctor before surgery about his wife's cancer and the conversation with Dr. Mansker during surgery. Thank You for the pain medication prescribed and for it being free. Thank You for the rest that is ahead in this day. Cleanse me so You can use me more to exalt You. Father, You gave me "Yes I Will" all morning long. These words are ones I am lifting up to You...
Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will
Father, thank You for being All My Days! Amen.
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