Psalm 37:4 - "Lead Me Home"

 

Today will not be how I planned it but I know God has it planned. It was one year ago tonight that I saw this flyer at the Mexican restaurant in Orrville and wondered if this was the same Rickey Wood that Doc knew. I pulled off his number and texted him when I got back to my Momma's. I asked if he were the same one who knew Doc and if he were I wanted him to know Doc had died. He responded that yes he was and our mutual friend Raynard had kept him up on Doc's cancer and death. He asked me to call him when I had time so I did. When I got off the phone an hour later, my Momma told me it was so good to hear my laughter again after so long. That phone call started communication that led to multiple times a day texting and/or calling with a text and call every morning to start the day and every evening to end it. Oh how I miss my Rickey! I miss having someone to not just talk to but to share my deepest thoughts, hurts, dreams, etc. We talked many hours about Doc. He shared stories with me from their childhood Doc had not told me. I share stories with him Doc had told me about them. I needed that and God provided. The first thing I thought of when I woke this morning was Psalm 37:4. Adam Clarke wrote of this verse: Expect all thy happiness from him, and seek it in him. I find it interesting that my word for 2021 was expect/expectation. I started praying in December 2020 for God to bring great things into my life to heal me. I did not realize how fast God was going to work. I was not looking for another man but God brought my Rickey into my life. The months he was in my life brought great happiness and a lot of healing. He restored joy in my heart that had been dimmed. Many memories were made that I would not have if it were not for my Rickey. He taught me how to love again and strengthened my walk with the Lord. I am sad doing life without him but I know God had a purpose for giving me the gift of his love and friendship for a period of time. I just have to continue to bask in the memories we made and allow God to heal the hurts of my heart. Yesterday when I went to the bulk store for cheese I saw a peanut butter pie made by the Amish ladies and immediately knew I had to buy it. Doc and Rickey both loved peanut butter pie. When I saw it and thought of them, I was surprised but thankful the tears did not fall. I knew God was with me and encouraging me through something as simple as a pie. God is so, so good to provide us with exactly what we need. I so enjoyed my time with Paul, Liz, and Miss Bella yesterday. It was so cool when I opened up my gifts and the wrap Cait got a couple months ago was what they bought me. They had no idea how much I loved hers but God did. It is even the same color! Wow, God! I am so blessed! Another blessing came this morning from my friend Andy who shared a song with me that blesses me in abundance. Praise God! Knowing our loved ones are experiencing life with Jesus is the greatest blessing we could ever receive. Oh how I pray for more people to allow God into their lives and those who are in relationship with Him to go deeper. 

I have seen my last tomorrow,
I'm holding my last breath,
Goodbye, sweet world of sorrow,
My new life, begins with death.

I am standing on the mountain, 
I can hear the angels songs,
I am reaching over Jordon, 
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the blessings of yesterday with Christmas with Paul, Liz, and Miss Bella! Thank You for the day ahead where I know You will orchestrate many blessings! Thank You for being with Matt through his surgery yesterday and for continuing to be with him in the days ahead with recuperation! Thank You for continuing to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we continue this road of life without my Rickey! May we all receive the blessings You have in store for us in the process. Lord, today was suppose to be a day of celebration as we had plans to go out for a steak dinner to celebrate our first time of talking. The plans included going to Strongsville Mall to see the Christmas decorations before dinner. Father, my heart hurts that these plans never happened. It hurts that I will never make a new memory with my Rickey. I do not understand these things but I know You will bless me through my hurts. This morning You blessed me with a song my friend Andy shared. Thank You! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. I do not want the hurt to overpower the joy You give me. Empower me to be strong in You as I continue to walk in obedience to You. I pray for many going through 'tough' days to not only seek You but to allow You to be who You desire in their life. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; Sheri; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. I pray the same for a friend separated from her family after a recent loss of a loved one. May she feel Your presence in these days of separation. I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around families who have had recent losses. Bill, Ashley, Polings, and Jennifer's co-worker. Lord, thank You for the physical strength You provided yesterday! Thank You for being The One To Bless Me! Amen.