I'm so sad yet I am rejoicing my Rickey is with Jesus. I miss him so much. It is amazing how quickly he became a big part of my life. As I reflect back on these last months I am so thankful for each and every memory the Lord gave me with him. I am grateful for his family who loved me from the very beginning of meeting. I am grateful for my church family who accepted and loved him. Plain and simple. I am grateful. But the pain is great and the tears keep flowing. I know tears are part of the healing process. I also know grieving is not just for a moment but continues. I'm getting pretty good with this whole grieving thing. It is definitely not something I would choose but for some reason it is where God seems to have me again. Last night gathering with his children and grand babies was so special. They love me so wonderfully. The grand babies Christmas gifts were perfect. I loved shopping for them. Some gifts were bought when Rickey and I were together and others were bought by me seeing something and sending him a picture for his approval. Last night after getting back to my Momma's Michael sent me a picture of Miss Ruby Jean snuggled under the blanket I made her. What a blessing! I pray I can continue to be a part of their healing process too. We all need each other. Sharing stories of their Dad last night was a blessing too. Several time one of us would say how much he would have enjoyed something. He loved his family and he loved me. What a gift we all have in that knowledge. God gave me Rickey for a season. I have had some tell me he was put in my life to help me with the grief over Doc's death. I know he restored laughter back into my life. I like to think I restored his ability to be loved again. I know his relationship with God became right through our relationship. My nephew Joe said last night that I 'made an eternal impact' and for that I am grateful. I have to remember God's ways are the best ways. We may not understand His ways but we must trust Him no matter what happens. Both Joe and my friend Tisha mentioned to me that God's ways are higher. I may never understand why our time together was so short but that has to be OK. God knows all and has a purpose for all. The more we trust Him the more we will realize we do not have to understand everything. This is my favorite picture of us that we took on one of Rickey's trips to South Carolina. I see such joy in myself and such peace in him. I see contentment and lots of love. These are the treasures I have to get me through these 'tough' days where life is no longer as it was. There will be no more 'good morning' texts or 'nite nite' calls. I will never again hear, 'I love you my Sheila girl' or be asked if my doors are locked at night. These things became my norm and it makes me sad to know my norm has changed once again. I shared with the kids last night about one of my favorite memories was driving through downtown Beaufort with my sun roof open and the sun shining down on me as their Dad played "How Great Thou Art" and we sang. We were seven hundred miles apart but we were together. God blessed us in abundance in the short time we had together and He blesses me with the knowledge Rickey is playing with the heavenly band now. I can't even begin to imagine what the days ahead will look like but I know Who knows and that gives me peace.
Dear Jesus, Thank You for the opportunity to be with Rickey's children and grand babies last night to celebrate Christmas! Thank You for the way they love me! Father, may Your peace and strength come down upon Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself in these 'tough' days. I pray a cleansing in my spirit so You will be glorified in my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts. I pray for more of You and less of me to be seen/heard. Lord, I pray for others who are hurting to lean into Your strength. I pray continued wisdom and guidance for all. Be so real to all. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Cyndi; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are having treatments for 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; and Little Ivy. Lord, Lord, be with Little Richie and his family as he is having issues. Lord, thank You for being My Peace! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment