John 13:34-36 - "I Will Follow"

God knows what I need and provides. Last night spending the evening with Rickey's family was priceless. I truly believe God put us together because He knew we needed one another. Healing continued as we talked, ate together, laughed, etc. Memories of Rickey are precious and reflection upon who he was in each of our lives means so much. I am one blessed lady with the addition of my bonus family. It does not take blood to make a family. God has blessed me with so many people who are close like family. Family to me is anyone I do life with. That can mean biological, church, neighbors, friends, etc. When one puts effort into a relationship, they will receive blessings from it. Some relationships come easy and others take more work. No matter what God will bless us through them. The 'secret' in all relationships is God's love. When His love is the center of a relationship, no matter what obstacles come into play they will be worked through. When His love is the foundation of a friendship, marriage, family, etc., there is a great bond between all involved. God desires us to love with His love. That means we love unconditionally. Jesus died on the cross for all of us because of His great love for all. He did not die for some. He did not pick and choose who would have eternal life. He died for all of us. Peter asked Jesus in John 13 where He was going. I love His reply. “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.” Those words are for all who are in relationship with Him. Praise His Holy Name! We have the hope of eternal life when we are in relationship with Him. We have the knowledge of eternal life through reading His Word. I am so grateful for my relationship with Him. I know He is always with me and always loving on me. The more I love Him the more He loves through me. Woo hoo! As 2021 comes to an end I reflect back on how much He loved me over this past year through my relationship with others. My relationship with Rickey was short yet was so awesome. My relationships with others were great and meaningful. Most of all my relationship with God went deeper than ever before. I trust Him more today than this time last year. My love for Him has grown so strong and I look forward to see it grow stronger in the year ahead. I am so thankful for all of the people He has put in my life to love on. What a blessing! I am reminded this morning of the lyrics to a song Chris Tomlin sings called "I Will Follow"...

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead today! Thank You for my time with Rickey's family last night! What a blessing to talk, laugh, share stories of Rickey, etc.! I know last night was more healing for all of us. May You continue to give Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself times like last night as we continue this journey without Rickey. Lord, You are so good. Thank You for being more to me as this year closes out and a new one begins! Thank You for cleansing me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You! May You ooze out of my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a mighty way. May people see/hear You instead of me. Lord, I pray for relationships to be restored in this new year. I pray for those who need to restore their relationship with You, family members, friends, etc. May people realize we never know when our last breath will be taken on this earth. If we want to be with You in heaven when that happens, we need to be in right relationship with You on this earth. Lord, empower us all to walk in Your love. I pray for many who are going through 'tough' days to have people in their life who will love them with Your love. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. I pray the same for a friend separated from her family after a recent loss of a loved one. May she feel Your presence in these days of separation. I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around families who had recent losses. Bill, Ashley, Polings, and Jennifer's co-worker. I pray for a family  whose loved one appears to be in her last hours. May they be surrounded by people who will love on them with Your love. I pray for safety on the road as I travel to meet friends this morning. Thank You for being The One I Follow! Amen. 

Psalm 88; II Timothy 1:7 - "You Know My Name"

 

The Lord woke me in the night and told me to read Psalm 88. I asked Him if I needed to get up and read it then and He told me to read it this morning. I read it in different translations and settled in with The Passion Translation. I stopped at verse thirteen and thanked God for my relationship with Him. I thanked Him for encouraging me to not only hear what He says but walk in obedience to His will for my life. I thanked Him for the knowledge that He hears every prayer I speak, think, cry, etc. This Psalm is one of lament and I know I have felt like lamenting a lot of late. I also know I have sought His comfort and received it through these 'tough' days. But what about all of the people who have never asked Him into their heart? What about the people who were in relationship with Him at one point in life only to walk away from Him? What about the people whose hurt is so deep they have chosen to allow the enemy to put lies upon them instead of allowing God to put life in them? These are the questions that come to my mind as I read Psalm 88. We all have a choice to make when 'tough' days come before us. We can push in deeper in our faith or we can pull away from God. I have heard many say things like, "Where was God when my loved one was dying?...Why did my loved one die?...Why would God put me through this pain?...Why were my prayers not answered?" We may never know the answers to most of these questions BUT we can know the answer to the last one. Our prayers are always answered. God's answer may not be the one we desire or in the timing we desire but He always answers our prayers. Matthew Henry wrote of this Psalm:

The psalmist resolved to continue in prayer, and the more so, because deliverance did not come speedily. Though our prayers are not soon answered, yet we must not give over praying. The greater our troubles, the more earnest and serious we should be in prayer. Nothing grieves a child of God so much as losing sight of him; nor is there any thing he so much dreads as God's casting off his soul. If the sun be clouded, that darkens the earth; but if the sun should leave the earth, what a dungeon would it be! Even those designed for God's favours, may for a time suffer his terrors. See how deep those terrors wounded the psalmist. If friends are put far from us by providences, or death, we have reason to look upon it as affliction.  

God knows the hurts of our heart and He will use them to deepen our faith as we allow Him. Even in my grief I know He is with me. When the ugly tears fell yesterday, He was with me. As each memory comes into my mind He is with me. Praise His Holy Name! He is with me. He is with all of us as we allow Him. When the enemy tries to put fear upon us, He is there to remind of Paul's words in II Timothy 1:7. He does not give us a spirit of fear. He gives us a spirit of power, love, and self-control. Fear comes from the enemy not God. Empowerment to love with His love no matter what is happening in our little world comes from God. The enemy tries to tell us God cannot use us through 'tough' days but God promises us He can and will. Some translations of this verse read sound mind instead of self-control. It means God gives us the ability to have better understanding and make better decisions. I love the part of this verse that many pass over. It says He gives us the spirit of these things. That means He empowers us to not be fearful. He empowers us to be empowered to live as He desires. Woo hoo! Praise His Holy Name! I have said and heard it many times. I do not know how people get through 'tough' days without the Lord. The hurt I feel from the loss of Rickey is so great but my God is greater! I was thinking yesterday about what life is going to be like when I go back home. Life is so different without him in my life. I am once again 'alone' even though God is always with me and I have people who love me. But I no longer have a special someone to share my thoughts, dreams, hurts, etc. Praise God He will help me once again to adjust. I am encouraged this morning by a song Tasha Leonard sings called "You Know My Name"...

No fire can burn me
No battle can turn me
No mountain can stop me
'Cause You hold my hand
Now I'm walking in Your victory
'Cause Your power is within me
No giant can defeat me
'Cause You hold my hand

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the opportunities You put before me yesterday to love with Your love! Thank You for visits with: Tom, Steph, and the kids; Sally; Kim; Donna; Rickey's sister Vickey; and Mary! Thank You for each tear that fell yesterday! I know every one is part of my healing. Thank You for continuing to be with Matthew and Sheri as they recuperate from surgery! I am so excited to be with Anna, Michael, and Matthew and their families tonight. You have blessed me in abundance with this addition to my family. May You continue to be with all of us as we grieve. Thank You for Kim's iPad working for me for Sunday service! I pray Your blessings as I use it. Lord, be with all going through 'tough' days. May they feel Your empowerment. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. I pray the same for a friend separated from her family after a recent loss of a loved one. May she feel Your presence in these days of separation. I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around families who had recent losses. Bill, Ashley, Polings, and Jennifer's co-worker. Praise Your Holy Name for Daniel's pneumonia being gone! Lord, thank You for the physical strength You provided yesterday! Thank You for being My Victory! Amen. 

Psalm 37:4 - "Lead Me Home"

 

Today will not be how I planned it but I know God has it planned. It was one year ago tonight that I saw this flyer at the Mexican restaurant in Orrville and wondered if this was the same Rickey Wood that Doc knew. I pulled off his number and texted him when I got back to my Momma's. I asked if he were the same one who knew Doc and if he were I wanted him to know Doc had died. He responded that yes he was and our mutual friend Raynard had kept him up on Doc's cancer and death. He asked me to call him when I had time so I did. When I got off the phone an hour later, my Momma told me it was so good to hear my laughter again after so long. That phone call started communication that led to multiple times a day texting and/or calling with a text and call every morning to start the day and every evening to end it. Oh how I miss my Rickey! I miss having someone to not just talk to but to share my deepest thoughts, hurts, dreams, etc. We talked many hours about Doc. He shared stories with me from their childhood Doc had not told me. I share stories with him Doc had told me about them. I needed that and God provided. The first thing I thought of when I woke this morning was Psalm 37:4. Adam Clarke wrote of this verse: Expect all thy happiness from him, and seek it in him. I find it interesting that my word for 2021 was expect/expectation. I started praying in December 2020 for God to bring great things into my life to heal me. I did not realize how fast God was going to work. I was not looking for another man but God brought my Rickey into my life. The months he was in my life brought great happiness and a lot of healing. He restored joy in my heart that had been dimmed. Many memories were made that I would not have if it were not for my Rickey. He taught me how to love again and strengthened my walk with the Lord. I am sad doing life without him but I know God had a purpose for giving me the gift of his love and friendship for a period of time. I just have to continue to bask in the memories we made and allow God to heal the hurts of my heart. Yesterday when I went to the bulk store for cheese I saw a peanut butter pie made by the Amish ladies and immediately knew I had to buy it. Doc and Rickey both loved peanut butter pie. When I saw it and thought of them, I was surprised but thankful the tears did not fall. I knew God was with me and encouraging me through something as simple as a pie. God is so, so good to provide us with exactly what we need. I so enjoyed my time with Paul, Liz, and Miss Bella yesterday. It was so cool when I opened up my gifts and the wrap Cait got a couple months ago was what they bought me. They had no idea how much I loved hers but God did. It is even the same color! Wow, God! I am so blessed! Another blessing came this morning from my friend Andy who shared a song with me that blesses me in abundance. Praise God! Knowing our loved ones are experiencing life with Jesus is the greatest blessing we could ever receive. Oh how I pray for more people to allow God into their lives and those who are in relationship with Him to go deeper. 

I have seen my last tomorrow,
I'm holding my last breath,
Goodbye, sweet world of sorrow,
My new life, begins with death.

I am standing on the mountain, 
I can hear the angels songs,
I am reaching over Jordon, 
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the blessings of yesterday with Christmas with Paul, Liz, and Miss Bella! Thank You for the day ahead where I know You will orchestrate many blessings! Thank You for being with Matt through his surgery yesterday and for continuing to be with him in the days ahead with recuperation! Thank You for continuing to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we continue this road of life without my Rickey! May we all receive the blessings You have in store for us in the process. Lord, today was suppose to be a day of celebration as we had plans to go out for a steak dinner to celebrate our first time of talking. The plans included going to Strongsville Mall to see the Christmas decorations before dinner. Father, my heart hurts that these plans never happened. It hurts that I will never make a new memory with my Rickey. I do not understand these things but I know You will bless me through my hurts. This morning You blessed me with a song my friend Andy shared. Thank You! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. I do not want the hurt to overpower the joy You give me. Empower me to be strong in You as I continue to walk in obedience to You. I pray for many going through 'tough' days to not only seek You but to allow You to be who You desire in their life. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; Sheri; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. I pray the same for a friend separated from her family after a recent loss of a loved one. May she feel Your presence in these days of separation. I ask You to wrap Your loving arms around families who have had recent losses. Bill, Ashley, Polings, and Jennifer's co-worker. Lord, thank You for the physical strength You provided yesterday! Thank You for being The One To Bless Me! Amen. 

Luke 2:17; Psalm 46:10 - "In The Eye of the Storm"

Yesterday memories came flooding back as I was out and about. One of my favorite parts of Christmas is shopping. The day after Christmas was always a fun day as I would go to find deals for next Christmas, birthdays, shoeboxes, etc. I was blessed in life with three men who loved to shop. My Daddy took me shopping many times when I was growing up. Doc could shop a lot longer than I could physically hold out. Rickey loved to shop in thrift stores, garage sales, discount stores, etc. As I walked into Wal-Mart yesterday I praised God for the opportunity because last year I was physically unable to to do so. When I walked into Marc's, the tears once again came as the last time I was there Rickey was with me as we did some Christmas shopping. Driving down High Street the tears began once again as I passed Dravenstott's. Memories are everywhere. I am thankful for them even though they bring on tears. As I looked out my Momma's front window I thought about how Rickey loved to sit on the porch and watch people go by. That was one of my Daddy's favorite pastimes. When I drove to Ohio this summer, Rickey took this picture and said 'it is a match made in heaven.' He loved his vintage vehicles but he also loved my Mercedes. Ahhhhh the memories. Once again, I am so thankful to have them. I was thinking this morning about the word God gave me for 2022. Ponder. The definition for 'ponder' is: think about (something) carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion. The first thing that came to my mind when God gave me this word was Luke 2:19. It reads in the New International Version: But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Mary had much to ponder upon with being chosen to be the mother of Jesus. Life was not a bed of roses with the task given her but she embraced it and lived in obedience to her Heavenly Father. As I read the definition of this word and apply it to Mary's situation I can only imagine how her mind must have been racing with all that occurred. But this verse also tells me she did not make hasty decisions but instead pondered them in her heart. This word reminds me to walk in Psalm 46:10. Be still and know that I am God in the days ahead. As we are still it allows God to be His Great Self in our lives. Unfortunately, this is something we don't always do. Sometimes we think about things and try to make them be as we desire instead of allowing Him to work in and through us. The more I ponder, the more He will be Who He desires to be in my life so I can be who He desires me to be. I ponder my memories and am grateful. I will be still before the Lord and be grateful in the knowledge He knows what is ahead for me. Once again I am reminded of my time by the ocean on Christmas Day when He spoke to me so clearly. "Daughter, just as I know where every grain of sand will end up I know of you. Do not fear. I am with you." Woo hoo! What wonderful words to hear from my Heavenly Father! I am reminded this morning of the song "In The Eye of the Storm" and so grateful for the peace God gives me when I am still before Him.

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm
Mmm, when my hopes and dreams are far from me, and I'm runnin' out of faith
I see the future I picture slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face
I find my peace in Jesus' name

Dear Jesus, Thank You for all of the memories You brought to me yesterday and for the tears that were shed in the process! I know it is part of the healing process and I know You are loving me through it. Thank You for Anna, Michael, and Matt having another Christmas celebration! Father, continue to heal our hearts as the memories of Rickey in our lives come before us. I pray for Matt today with his shoulder surgery. May You be his strength in the days of recuperation that are ahead and may he lean into Your strength. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. I pray the same for a friend separated from her family after a recent loss of a loved one. May she feel Your presence in these days of separation. I pray for another friend who is seeking Your wisdom with marital issues. May he be open to what You desire of him to do. Father, there are so many hurting for so many different reasons. I was thinking about the concept of mourning a loss in life. It does not have to be death that causes loss. It can be loss of a relationship, divorce, job, a 'normal' activity in life due to an illness, etc. I pray for all who are going through 'tough' days to lean into You. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Thank You for guiding the surgeon's hands as Sheri had surgery yesterday! I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Lord, empower us through the hurts of life. Thank You for my friend being able to function more yesterday and decreasing their oxygen as they continue the battle with COVID. I ask for You to wrap Your loving arms around Bill's family and Ashley's family with their recent losses. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You shine brightly through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today. Lord, give me physical strength to not just get through the day ahead but to enjoy it. Thank You for the time ahead today with Paul, Liz, and Miss Bella! Thank You for being My Anchor! Amen. 

Philippians 1:21 - "Home"

Yesterday felt like the longest day. I was emotional all day but when I sat down in the airport and thought about the last time I was there Rickey was still alive I lost it. The ugly tears started. I was thankful I was sitting by myself but I knew people still saw me. I prayed and asked God to heal my hurts. I posted on Facebook so people would say some prayers for me. By the time I sat in the airport at Charlotte I was doing better. The memories were with me throughout the day. I am so thankful for all of the memories we made in such a short time. This picture was of a time I picked Rickey up at the airport and surprised him with a picnic at Forsyth Park. It was such a beautiful day. We sat on a blanket eating and talking about our dreams. Afterward we walked along the waterfront and got caught in a downpour. The laughter flowed freely as we ran back to the car. As I walked out of Akron Canton Airport last night I was reminded of the first time I met Rickey in person. He picked me up at the airport to take me to my Momma's house. We had been talking for a few weeks and when he found out I was coming to Ohio he offered to pick me up. He took me out for a steak dinner and we talked. I remember I was still in my shoulder harness so he had to cut my steak. Oh the memories. It seemed like we loved each other from the very beginning. As I think about that I wonder if God gave me his love quickly because he was going to be taken from this earth. My heart hurts so greatly. I am reminded of Paul's words in Philippians 1 about life and death. I am so grateful to know my Daddy, Doc, and my Rickey are with the Lord. I am grateful each of these men in my life had a relationship with Him. I was reading an article that talked about death being a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing in the sense people who are in relationship with Him are with Him. It is a beautiful thing thinking they are no longer in pain or have disease in their body. I am grateful my Daddy received a new body with no more cancer. I am grateful Doc did not have to live in a body that had suffered a stroke. I am grateful my Rickey no longer has a machine breathing for him. In the midst of my gratefulness there is deep hurt for all the memories never to be made. I miss the morning phone calls from my Daddy. I miss doing life with Doc. I miss making more memories with Rickey. But even though I miss these men greatly I would never wish them back from heaven. They are where I long to be. If I had my druthers, I would be there with them but God is not finished with me on this earth. Until He calls me home I need to get better at loving on others with His love and walking in obedience to His will. This morning I am reminded of a song Chris Tomlin sings called "Home"...

I'm goin' home
Where the streets are golden
Every chain is broken
Oh I wanna go
Oh I wanna go
Home
Where every fear is gone
I'm in your open arms
Where I belong
Home

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead today! Thank You for loving me so greatly! Thank You for putting people in my life who reach out to me just at the right time like yesterday with Jim, Debbie, and Robin! Thank You for Sally picking me up at the airport and for my Momma getting to see Christmas lights! Thank You for helping the holidays to be a part of the healing process for Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself! Thank You for continuing to be with us as we figure out life without Rickey! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May people see/hear You instead of me today. May I shine brightly for You. Father, I pray for Bill Tschiegg's family as they grieve. I pray for all who have lost loved ones to think about death as being beautiful because our loved ones are with You. My Momma shared last night that even though it has been eight years since Daddy went to be with You it seems like this year the holidays have been the hardest for her. Grieving comes and goes and causes so many emotions in us. May we all lean more into Your strength. I pray for many going through 'tough' days to receive Your strength and peace. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray for You to guide the surgeon's hands as Sheri has surgery today. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Lord, empower us through the hurts of life. Thank You for being My Home! Amen. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - "Healer"

Thirty seven years ago this morning about this time the nurse woke me up to get me ready for my c-section to have my baby boy Ben. His birth was so different than Paul's with being very relaxed and low stress. I was excited to have him the day after Christmas with the way I love the Christmas season. Growing up I don't think he was excited to have his birthday then but he survived. From the time he could talk he made it be known he did not want a birthday cake but instead wanted a cheesecake. I will never forget the year I bought an expensive one from a place in Canton only to have him make a face and tell me it was not his kind of cheesecake. He wanted the 99 cent Aldi one! Goodness I could have saved a lot of money. I also will never forget him playing in his room building 'New York City.' He had never even been to Cleveland at that point in life yet he was dreaming of the big city. I started praying for Ben when I was a little girl. I always wanted three boys and three girls. I gave birth to two boys and have my bonus son Adam. Their wives are my three girls. I prayed for each one of my children, their spouses, and their children. My prayers were blessed in abundance with bringing Emily into Ben's life and then blessing them with five children. I so enjoy spending time with them. They have so much fun doing life! I was thankful they had the opportunity to spend time with Rickey. One of my favorite memories was listening to Rickey talk to Miss Evelyn about music. Doc gave her the violin/fiddle he got from Rickey for her first Christmas so they had a common tie in life. Yesterday as I was walking on the beach the Lord spoke great words of encouragement over me. They are words I want to share with Ben as he starts out another year of life. I am so proud of the way God is using him to bless others and to bless me. I watched the waves go in and back out and saw the sand being splashed around. It was at that moment the Lord spoke to me...

I knew these things but hearing them from the Lord blessed me in abundance. None of us know where God will take us or what He will put before us but we know He knows and that is all that matters. When I went to the waterfront before going out to Hunting Island yesterday, I sat in the swing and thought about it being Rickey's favorite place to spend time. When I saw the lady napping with her head in her man's lap, I thought about how many times I did that when Rickey was visiting. When I saw the cruise ship docked, I thought about our dreams of taking a cruise. All around me were memories that were made and dreams that will never happen. Yet God was there loving on me. I am so grateful for His love. It was His love that has brought me through thus far in life and it will be His love that continues to sustain me in the days ahead. Prayer is key in living life. I remember before Ben was born being given the option to abort him because he was going to be born with an open spine. Of course, that was not an option. When we went back a month later for another ultrasound, we were told he was 'normal' and it must have been a mistake on the first one. No mistake. God healed him in the womb. That was confirmed by the doctor when we saw the scar on the bottom of his spine at birth. As a teen at the altar at Mount Vernon Nazarene University Ben was healed of juvenile diabetes. God has great plans for him and is living through him. He knows and is living out the knowledge that prayer is key in life. I am so thankful his children are seeing prayer as the answer for everything. We may not always receive the answer we desire but we do receive what is best for us. We may not always receive His answer in the timing we desire but we do see answers in His time. Praise His Holy Name! No matter if healing is for a physical, mental, emotional, financial, or spiritual hurt He is there to heal us. I am reminded of a song Kari Jobe sings called "Healer"...

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You, I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for another year of life for Ben! Thank You for blessing him with Emily and the children! Thank You for continuing to lead him where You so desire to use him! Father, thank You for speaking over me yesterday! Thank You for being with me as I made a hospital visit, walked at the waterfront, walked at the beach, and spent time with Will and Sandy! Thank You for being with Anna, Michael, Matt, and I as we celebrated Christmas without Rickey! I am so thankful they had a good day. Thank You for giving me what i needed to not just get through the day but to be able to 'do life'! Thank You for Colleen feeling up to cooking and for my friend who was released from the hospital from COVID! Thank You for being with so many who have lost loved ones since last Christmas! Lord, may all who are hurting allow You to be their Healer. May Your peace come down upon all who are struggling. I pray for: my Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Lord, may we all remember Your love is greater than any hurt that comes our way. Thank You for continuing to be My Healer! Amen. 

Genesis 1:26; John 1:5 - "Somewhere In Your Silent Night"

 

I was awake three times during the night and each time God encouraged me to pray for those who are hurting from loss. Loss comes in many forms. It comes from the loss of a loved one to death but it also comes in the form of the loss of a loved one through separation and/or divorce. Loss can be experienced through a move away from family and friends. It can  be experienced when one's job is lost. I remember feeling a loss when I was diagnosed with MS because I felt life would never be the same again. There is so much loss today. My heart breaks for those who are not in relationship with the Lord. I cannot imagine going through great loss without His strength. I heard a lady say this week it was going to be a different type of Christmas this year because she had lost her daughter. I pray she has God's peace to lean into. I prayed for her but I wish I would have prayed with her. I was a mess myself with the tears falling and missed that opportunity. In last night's service I spoke about Jesus being our Light in the darkness of this world. There is so much darkness and the enemy tries to increase it daily. We must allow God to live in and through us so He will shine brightly through us. I shared how I feel like my light is 'dim' in these days. It is not that I want it to be dim but it feels dim. There have been times over these last few weeks where I felt like God was using me and shining through me yet there have been more times I felt like my light was dim. Genesis 1:26 reads, Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, after our likeness." Woo hoo! We are made in God's likeness. That means we carry His light in us. His spirit of light and love lives in all who are in relationship with Him. Even when the enemy tries to dim my light he does not have the power to do so unless I allow him. Praise God! I am so thankful for this knowledge and for the words of John 1:5. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. Woo hoo! Last night my friend Darrell asked me about my plans for today. I told him I had invitations but was waiting to see how I felt today because I have been struggling emotionally. He said, "Please don't let the devil win on this day. The most holiest day." I do not want to allow the devil any foothold into my life. I desire to lean into God's strength to get through these days. God put this picture before me for a reason. I cannot bring Doc nor Rickey back but I can love on others as they did. I have had so many conversations with people who Rickey touched by just listening to them and encouraging them. I need to get better at being that kind of person. I am reminded this morning of a song Casting Crowns sings called "Somewhere In Your Silent Night"...

From heaven's height to manger low
There is no distance the Prince of Peace won't go
From manger low to Calvary's hill
When your pain runs deep
His love runs deeper still
He has always loved you, child
And He always will

Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night

Dear Jesus, Thank You for the opportunity to pray for many during the night who have experienced loss! I pray Your peace over each one and Your wisdom as they continue on in life. Thank You for Darrell's words last night that encourage me to not allow the enemy to win in my life! Thank You for the ways You love on me! Father, I can't imagine waking this morning without You being in my life. Oh how I pray for more people to come into relationship with You. I pray for those already in relationship with You to go deeper. As I said last night, I firmly believe we need to dig our heels in deeper in the new year ahead. Empower us Father. Lord, I pray for Anna, Michael, and Matt to not only feel Your presence but to bask in the memories of their Dad. I pray for myself to not dwell on the 'what ifs' or the dreams Rickey and I had but to live as he did being a great friend who listened well. I pray for many going through 'tough' days to feel Your presence in their lives. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Lord, may we all remember Your love is greater than any hurt that comes our way. Thank You for being My Light! Amen.

Luke 2:19; Psalm 46:10 - "Mary Did You Know?"

 

Every year as the calendar gets ready to change over to a new year I ask God to give me a word. Last year it was 'expect/expectation' and that is exactly what I did. I expected great things to happen and they did. I could not even begin to list all of the great things that happened because there were so many. One of the greatest things was God bringing Rickey into my life to restore laughter in my spirit. He made me feel loved and beautiful. We made so many memories in our short time together. Yesterday God gave me my word for 2022. 'Ponder.' After I received that word I reflected upon 2021 and pondered upon 2022. The definition for 'ponder' is: think about (something) carefully, especially before making a decision or reaching a conclusion. The first thing that came to my mind when God gave me this word was Luke 2:19. It reads in the New International Version: But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Mary had much to ponder upon with being chosen to be the mother of Jesus. Life was not a bed of roses with the task given her but she embraced it and lived in obedience to her Heavenly Father. As I read the definition of this word and apply it to Mary's situation I can only imagine how her mind must have been racing with all that occurred. But this verse also tells me she did not make hasty decisions but instead pondered them in her heart. This word reminds me to walk in Psalm 46:10. Be still and know that I am God in the days ahead. Sunday's sermon has a part about how we need to allow God to be His Great Self. This is something we don't always do. Sometimes we think about things and try to make them be as we desire instead of allowing Him to work in and through us. The more I ponder, the more He will be Who He desires to be in my life so I can be who He desires me to be. This morning I am pondering upon yesterday. God was so very close to me throughout the day. There were many times when I felt agitated in my spirit and I prayed against it. There were times when the tears fell and I allowed Him to use them in my healing process. By the end of the afternoon I just wanted to be home in my safe place and He provided. He blessed me in abundance when I left my keys lay at the post office and a nice man turned them in. He blessed me in abundance with words spoken over me from a friend I have never met in person. He blessed me in abundance as I walked into the thrift store and the lady who sold me this picture frame for Rickey for Christmas hugged and cried with me. He blessed me in abundance with many friends checking on me. He blessed me in abundance with my time with Marion. Plain and simple. He blessed me in abundance. I will 'ponder' these blessings from yesterday as I 'expect' more blessings in the day ahead. I am reminded this morning of the words to the song "Mary Did You Know" and wonder just what all she 'pondered' as she held Baby Jesus.

Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
That sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

Dear Jesus, Thank You for all of the blessings from yesterday but especially for giving me my word for 2022! Thank You for all the people who touched my life yesterday! Thank You for loving me so greatly! Thank You for using tears to help in my healing process! Thank You for Anna, Michael, and Matt who help me through 'tough' days as I miss my Rickey so deeply! It is so hard to believe it has already been two weeks since he left us. Thank You for my short time with him and for the memories we made! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May people see/hear You instead of me today. May You flow from my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts in a mighty way. Thank You for being with my friend who continues to battle COVID! I praise You for their release from the hospital. I praise You for Colleen's family and my sister Linda getting stronger after their fight with it. I praise You for things going well for Elaine Stoltzfus with her treatment. Lord, there are so many hurting people and I pray Your peace over them. May You be greater than the hurts of life for all and put people before them who will love on them with Your love. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. I pray blessings over Adam as he celebrates his birthday today. I'm so disappointed in not getting to see them as planned. Thank You for being The One Who Loves Me! Amen.

Psalm 1 - "The Hope of Christmas"

Yesterday was a 'tough' day emotionally. Nothing in particular happened but it was just a roller coaster ride with my emotions. I enjoyed coffee with my friend Sue, picked up a gift I had ordered, had a friend over to the house, and then the rest of the day just seemed to drag on. Tears fell as I thought about all of the dreams that would never happen. It helped to end the day sharing pictures and chatting with Rickey's family. I am so thankful for them. This morning God took me to Psalm1 and the very first sentence spoke volumes to me. It reads in The Voice, God’s blessings follow you and await you at every turn... In The Passion Translation it reads, What delight comes to the one who follows God’s ways! The Psalm continues sharing the 'secret' to life is found in His Word. I love verse two in The Passion Translation. It reads, His passion is to remain true to the Word of “I AM,” meditating day and night on the true revelation of light. I love how God works through Scripture. I am gathering for the "I Am" series for January and February and this came to me this morning. As I put together the sermon for Sunday I wrote about finding the 'secret' to life and He brought this to me this morning. Woo hoo, God! The 'secret' to life is found in living out His Word. This Psalm continues that we should not follow the ways of men but stand firm in the ways of God. Verse three tells of the result of such a life. He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous. Once again, woo hoo God! As I walk in obedience to Him I will realize the life He has for me. I find myself once again alone in life yet I know He is always with me. I find myself once again with deep hurt in my heart yet I know He is here to love me through this time. I find myself once again having more times of tears than laughter but I know He will restore me. He has done it before and He will do it again. I am hopeful. Yesterday I heard a song Matthew West sings called "The Hope of Christmas" and was reminded I have hope in Christ.

You're still the hope of Christmas
You're still the light when the world looks dark
You're still the hope of Christmas
And You're still the hope of my heart

Dear Jesus, Thank You for all the ways You loved me through yesterday! Thank You for Scripture that reminds me You are the 'secret' to life! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You ooze out of my words, thoughts, actions, and attitude today in a mighty way. Father, thank You for soothing my soul last night with conversation and sharing pictures with Anna, Michael, and Matt. May You continue to be what we all need to get through these 'tough' days of adjusting without Rickey being with us. Lord, I know we are not alone in this time. So many have lost loved ones and so many have loved ones fighting for their lives right now. Lord, be what we all need. I pray Your peace over many going through 'tough' days. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Thank You for being My Hope! Amen.

Psalm 19; Exodus 14:14 - "Joy Comes In The Morning"

Yesterday was a better day in the aspect of 'doing life' with the tears only coming once. One of Rickey's friends reminded me last night that Rickey would not want us to be sad. I know that but the hurt brings on the tears from time to time. I was reading something posted on Facebook that reminded me to not give up but to continue to seek God's joy in my life. I am reminded of the words to a song Baylor Wilson sings called "Joy Comes In The Morning"...

Though your weeping may last for the evening
And your sorrow may stay for the night (Ooh, ooh-la-la-la)
Keep your eyes up, your heart still believing
'Cause your God tells the sun when to rise
Joy comes in the morning
Joy comes in the morning

The song continues about how God has every battle that comes before us and we just need to be still. Exodus 14:14 has been brought before me multiple times this week. It also tells me that God is fighting for me and I just need to be still. Psalm 23 is one that has also come before me multiple times this week. God is keeping Scripture in the forefront of my mind to show me He is with me. Doc received the ultimate healing from cancer and is living the ultimate life in heaven. Rickey received the ultimate healing from COVID and is living the ultimate life in heaven. My time has not come for the ultimate healing and until it does I need to allow God to be Who He desires to be in my life so I can be who He desires me to be. This morning God took me to Psalm 19 to remind that Yahweh's Word is perfect in every way; how it revives our souls! (TPT) Praise His Holy Name! It continues that His teachings are right and make us joyful... Woo hoo! Yes the tears are still going to fall. As time goes on, they will fall less often. I know that from experience with Doc leaving this earth. More and more the happy memories will take over the sadness. Joy will come again. Everyone grieves differently. There is no set time for grieving and perhaps it never really ends. One just learns how to function in their new role. After Doc left I learned how to function as a widow. I did not like doing life alone and soon God brought Rickey into my life. Ours was a different relationship with being seven hundred miles apart but we made a lot of memories every time we were together. We had great dreams of marrying and having a home in South Carolina and a home in Ohio. He told me of places he wanted to take me that he had traveled to during his USO tours. His time in the Holy Land was very short on one of the tours and I shared with him about our trip there. We planned on visiting together. So many plans. So many dreams. So many hopes. I do not understand 'why' they never happened but I do not have to understand. All I have to do is trust God and allow Him to restore my joy.

Dear Jesus, Thank You for yesterday being a little easier in my emotions! Thank You for the memories You brought before me of both Doc and Rickey throughout the day! Thank You for my time with Marion as we made Christmas ornaments! Thank You for breakfast with Andy and for the conversation and laughter! Thank You for blessing my sister Linda today on her birthday! Thank You for being with all who are traveling over the holidays! Thank You for cleansing me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You! May Your ooze out of my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a mighty way. May people see/hear You instead of me. Lord, my heart breaks for so many dealing with COVID. It seems like it hangs on forever. May You be the healing balm and the deep breaths needed in their lives. I pray Your peace over many going through 'tough' days. I pray You will continue to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself on this journey without Rickey with us. I pray Your peace over: My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Thank You for being My Restorer of Joy! Amen.

Psalm 88; Hebrews 12:1-3 - "When My Amy Prays"

The Lord took me to Psalm 88 during the night. As I read it in different translations I became very sad for people who are not in relationship with Him. I am sad for those who do not have His peace in the storms of life. I am reminded of a saying...

No God = No Peace

Know God = Know Peace

I am thankful for the knowledge that my Rickey was at peace with God when he took his final breath on earth. I also am thankful for the knowledge of others who know His peace in the storm they are experiencing with COVID. When I asked a friend if they were right in their heart with God as they battle this nasty stuff, they replied they think they are but wish their relationship was stronger. I believe all of us wish for our relationship to be stronger. It takes going past the wishing stage and making it happen. That takes work on our part through being in His Word, praying, spending time in His presence, surrounding ourselves with other believers, etc. God desires to be our Savior and He desires for us to love Him. He desires us to get to the end of ourselves as in Psalm 88 and allow Him to be the God He desires to be through us. The Psalmist blames God for his life but none can blame God. He gives us free choice and we must be ready for the consequences of our choices. When we make right choices, we will be blessed in abundance. When we make wrong choices, we have to face the consequences. God is a loving God but sometimes that love shows through in a 'tough love' sort of way. Sometimes it takes God allowing 'tough' things to happen to get our faith to go deeper. No one can ever fully understand life except God. He knows all. When we allow an enemy an open door into our life, God is there to protect us as we allow Him. He is always there to love on us. The last verse of Psalm 88 is one that I am determined to not happen in my life. I refuse to allow darkness to take away the light of Jesus in me. I am determined to shine brightly for Him. Sometimes my light shines through tears but it still shines. Sometimes my light may appear dim but I refuse to let it go out. I am so blessed to have so many people praying for me. I know it is the prayers of the saints getting me through these days. I was reminded yesterday of Hebrews 12:1-3. It reads in the New International Version:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneerand perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Praise His Holy Name! Woo hoo! I will continue life with perseverance as I stay focused on Him. I know He has a plan for me and I do not want to miss it. The pain and suffering my Savior had on the cross is so much greater than the pain I am and have experienced on this earth. I cannot give up but instead need to press into Him more. I pray for more people to get to this understanding in life on earth so they too can experience eternal life with our Savior. I also pray for people to pray for one another more intentionally and not give up when it seems like their prayers are not being answered. God always hears and answers our prayers. Sometimes the answer is not what we desire but it is always what is best for us. I was reminded last night of a song Rickey shared with me that Vince Gill sings called, "When My Amy Prays." Rickey told me he was so thankful for my prayers for him. He told me he could relate to this song because he had me in his life just as Vince has Amy in his life. I was so touched by this and so thankful God gave me the opportunity to make an eternal difference in his life.

Dear Jesus, Thank You for a 'home day' yesterday with rest, watching Christmas movies, etc! Thank You for going before me today as I 'do life'! I pray for a cleansing in my spirit so I can be more Christ-like than ever before. I pray for physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all spiritual strength in the day ahead. I pray for protection on the roads in this nasty rain as I go to see Marion. Lord, I praise You for Steve Curless' surgery being successful yesterday! What a blessing for him! I also praise You for the ways You loved on me yesterday when the tears started to fall. You are so, so good. Lord, there are so many hurting people. I continue to pray for Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we seek a new normal without Rickey in our daily lives. May You be our strength in this process. I also pray for many going through 'tough' times to receive Your peace. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Thank You for the peace Rhonda has received with her situation! Thank You for being My Savior! Amen.

Exodus 14:14; James 4:8 - "I Am Not Alone"

On the way to church yesterday morning the tears fell as I thought about how it was my 'first' Sunday morning with Rickey not encouraging me for the service ahead. I was still in Ohio last week and yesterday was my first Sunday back. It was an emotional time but God was so, so good to give me exactly what I needed to not just get through the day but for Him to be glorified through it. I need to watch the sermon as so many people commented how good it was. I know I had a couple places where I failed to complete a sentence on my manuscript but God took care of things. He always does and praise His Holy Name He always will. Yesterday afternoon He gave me time with my tribe over lunch, I took a teen to work, did a hospital visit, and came home to visits from three people. Miss Everly said something about me still being in my church clothes when they came over around 5:00. It was a full day but it was a blessed day. I decided to get into my night shirt before eating my yummy supper from my dear neighbors Sharon and Trevor. After eating I took a little nap and then just vegetated for the evening. I did a few little things but mainly just allowed myself to bask in God's presence. One of the things I did was to hang a picture I bought Rickey for Christmas. He always said I took his breath away and when I saw this in a thrift store I bought it. At the time he was in ICU but I really thought he would pull out of it. Sometimes what we think or what we want is not what God allows to happen. The picture I chose to put in it was our first one taken together. This saying is so appropriate for my life right now since losing him. We made a lot of great memories and I am sad there will not be more made. But I know God is with me to get through the 'tough' days. He is with me to give me His wisdom and love. He is with me to make sure I stay focused on Him. Praise His Holy Name! Plain and simple. He is with me. I am reminded of the words in Exodus 14:14 which read, The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. I am so thankful for this knowledge. I also am grateful for the words of James 4:8, Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. God is so good to us when we allow Him. He is ready to be exactly what we need but we must be focused on Him and allow Him to be Who He desires to be in our life. Then, and only then, we will be who He desires us to be. I am reminded of the words to a song Kari Jobe sings...

In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

Dear Jesus, Thank You for all the ways You loved on me yesterday! Thank You for Your Word and this song that encourages me! Thank You for continuing to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we navigate through life without Rickey with us! Lord, I know this is trivial in the whole scheme of life but would You heal the cut on my finger. It is very difficult to type and today is when I planned to do a lot of computer work. Father, if You are changing those plans so be it. Cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. I don't know that I will leave the house today but I pray people will hear/see You instead of me. Lord, thank You for giving my Momma recollection on where she put a gift card last night. Thank You for continuing to be with her during these 'tough' days! I pray peace upon her and many others. My sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; and Little Ivy. I pray Your strong presence for: Steve Curless with his surgery today; Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth; Billie with her foot injury; a family in turmoil with the Momma possibly going to a nursing home; and Rhonda with her situation. Thank You for all the ways You love on us and take care of us! Thank You for the yummy dinner from Sharon and Trevor last night! Thank You for all of the people You put in my path yesterday and for the ones You will put in my path today! Thank You for being My Fighter! Amen.