II Timothy 1:7 - "Holy Water"

Last night was a weird one with little sleep. I did a lot of praying but I also struggled with my mind just not wanting to 'turn off' to enable me to rest. Tomorrow's CT scans for Doc... chemo...church building rehab...taxes...'regathering' of the church when coronavirus lessens...safety of family with the virus in our world...how to keep people connected to the church body when apart...if/when will we get a stimulus check...will the forms I submitted for the small business money go through for the church. There were so many things going through my mind. I prayed and asked God to keep the enemy out of my dreams because the night before I had some nasty ones that could have only come from him. I also asked God to quiet my mind so I could rest. I evidently was doing something wrong because my sleep was little and when I did finally go to sleep it was interrupted often. At the beginning of the night He told me to read Psalm 17 so I did in various translations. This is a prayer David wrote about how he desired to live in right relationship with the Lord. The first seven verses read in The Passion Translation:

1 Listen to me, Lord.
Hear the passionate prayer of this honest man.
It’s my piercing cry for justice!
My cause is just and my need is real.
I’ve done what’s right and my lips speak truth.
2 Lord, I always live my life before your face,
so examine and exonerate me.
Vindicate me and show the world I’m innocent.
3 For in a visitation of the night
you inspected my heart and refined my soul in fire
until nothing vile was found in me.
I’ve wanted my words and my ways to always agree.
4 Following your word has kept me from wrong.
Your ways have molded my footsteps, keeping me
from going down the forbidden paths of the destroyer.
5 My steps follow in the tracks of your chariot wheels,
always staying in their path,
never straying from your way.
6 You will answer me, God; I know you always will,
like you always do as you listen with love to my every prayer.
7 Magnify the marvels of your mercy to all who seek you.
Make your Pure One wonderful to me,
like you do for all those who turn aside
to hide themselves in you.

The desire of my heart is to fulfill the desires of His heart. Just as David was confident God heard his prayers so am I. He does not always answer our prayers in the way we desire. Sometimes His answer is not in 'our' timing or in the way we think life should go. We must realize that's ok because He knows what is best for us. Matthew Henry writes of this prayer:

Those that are, through grace, going in God's paths, should pray that their goings may be held up in those paths. David prays, Lord, still hold me up. Those who would proceed and persevere in the ways of God, must, by faith prayer, get daily fresh supplies of grace and strength from him. 

I like the term faith prayer. My prayers are full of faith. They are full of hope. Last night as Doc was in pain I prayed with faith and hope that God would heal him. I asked God to take away the anxiousness of tomorrows CT scans and to give him a better day today. Oh how I pray those prayers will be answered in the manner I desire. But if they are not it will be ok. God will give us His empowerment to live through whatever is ahead in this day. I continue to stand upon II Timothy 1:7. This morning I have the song Holy Water going through my mind. I am grateful for God's forgiveness. I know I would not be where I am today if He had not forgave me when I walked away from Him. His forgiveness brings joy to my heart.

Your forgiveness
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Like holy water on my skin
On my skin

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being with me throughout the night as I struggled! Thank You for our time with Ben's family last night through technology! It brings joy to my heart to interact with them. Thank You for loving on me so greatly that You forgive me when I don't do as You desire or when I miss an opportunity You put before me! Thank You for cleansing me this morning so You can fill me to overflowing with Yourself! May You be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts throughout this day in a more intentional way than ever before. Lord, I continue to pray for healing in Doc's body while he is on this earth. I pray today will be a day of less pain and less anxiousness over tomorrow's CT scans. Lord, be his peace. I pray for my Momma who lost a dear friend yesterday and a friend who is dealing with severe back pain to also feel Your peace. Father, I desire to feel more of Your peace in my spirit with everything going on. Give me Your wisdom with decisions that need made. Open my eyes to what You desire of me. Thank You for being My Holy Water! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Psalm 96 - "Sing Unto The Lord"; "Almost Home"

I woke up this morning with an urgency to read Psalm 96. This is an encouraging Psalm when going through 'tough' days. It encourages me to not allow circumstances to take away the joy the Lord gives me. It encourages me to share His love and the gift of salvation. There will be a day with this earth will be no longer. When that day occurs, only those who are in relationship with Him will live with Him for eternity. Believers have hope in eternity with Him. We need to share that hope. I am once again reminded of Doc's words in his message on Sunday. I desire to be a 'faith spreader...love giver...hope dealer!' I desire to share His love with all I meet. I desire to have His love ooze out of me in a way that people will desire to experience it. Plain and simple. I desire to be who He has called me to be. To do this I must be cleansed from anything not of Him in me. I pray for Him to cleanse me every day so I can be who He has called me to be. There are days when I fail Him but I strive to live in His presence so I can not only hear His voice but walk in obedience to it. The song Sing Unto The Lord encourages me to not allow the enemy an open door into my life. The enemy doesn't like when we praise God. He may work harder at tearing us apart but when we stand in the empowerment of the Holy Spirit as II Timothy 1:7 directs us to we will not cave under the enemy's tactics. We will instead stand in the strength of the Lord. The more we live as God desires, the harder the enemy will attack. The more souls who come to know Christ through us, the harder the enemy will attack. But we cannot allow the enemy to win. Christ is going to return and we must be ready at all time. We also need to be sharing the Gospel so others can be ready too. Verses ten through thirteen of Psalm 96 read in The Passion Translation:

10 Tell the nations plainly that Yahweh rules over all!
He is doing a great job, and nothing will disrupt him,
for he treats everyone fair and square.
11–12 Let the skies sing for joy! Let the earth join in the chorus.
Let oceans thunder and fields echo this ecstatic praise
until every swaying tree of every forest joins in,
lifting up their songs of joyous praise to him!
13 For here he comes, the Lord God,
and he’s ready to judge the world.
He will do what’s right and can be trusted
to always do what’s fair.

As believers, we need to not only be ready for Christ's return but we need to be getting others ready. We need to share the Gospel in ways people will desire to be in relationship with Him. We need to live out the Gospel so people will want to have Him in their life. The Gospel is not something to keep to ourselves. When we praise Him, people will hear our praises and desire to have reason to praise Him too. When we praise Him through 'tough' times, people will be amazed how that is even possible. It is possible to praise Him at all time because we have hope in eternal life with Him. The things we go through on this earth will not last forever. Eternity with Christ is what we need to have our eyes on. There will be no more sickness, death, addiction, etc. in heaven. There will only be pure living. I think about the words in the Lord's prayer that say on earth as it is in heaven. If we truly pray this and mean it, then we are asking God to make life here pure. I strive every day to live a pure life. I strive to walk in obedience to His will every day. Am I 100% successful? No, because I am not God. But I will say the more I strive to live in this manner, the more pure my days become. Matthew Henry writes of this Psalm:

Christ will come to judge the earth, to execute just vengeance on his enemies, and to fulfil his largest promises to his people. What then are we? Would that day be welcome to us? If this be not our case, let us now begin to prepare to meet our God, by seeking the pardon of our sins, and the renewal of our souls to holiness.

Yes! I am looking forward to His return. In fact, I am so ready to be in heaven. But I know until my time is complete on this earth or until He returns in His glory I must continue to be His obedient servant. Some days are harder than others but I cannot allow the enemy even one small area to creep into my life. It would be so easy to stay in bed and cover up my head but if I do the enemy would win. Instead I have to stay strong in sharing my faith. I have to allow the Holy Spirit to continue to empower my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts. We are Almost Home. Heaven is where believers will dwell for eternity. It is my goal and I need to get better at sharing that goal with others.

I know that the cross has brought heaven to us
But make no mistake there's still more to come
When our flesh and our bone are no longer between
Where we are right now and where we're meant to be
When all that's been lost has been made whole again
When these tears and this pain no longer exist
No more walking we're running as fast as we can
Consider this our second wind

Almost home
Brother it won't be long
Soon all your burdens will be gone
With all your strength
Sister run wild run free
Hold up your head
Keep pressing on
We are almost home

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for these songs and Scripture which encourage me greatly! Thank You the opportunities You provided yesterday for me to share Your love and for the opportunities ahead in this day! Thank You for Doc's pain lessening last evening! Thank You for being with him throughout the day ahead! Thank You for the way You will show Yourself to him today! May he be empowered through You in a mighty way. Lord, I know the upcoming CT scans are weighing heavy on his mind. May Your peace come down upon him in a mighty way. May he rest in the knowledge that You already know the results and will give him strength for whatever they are. Father, cleanse me today so I can be more of who You have called me to be. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit so You will ooze out of me. May You be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts throughout this day. Thank You for the appointment for our friend's heart cath finally being scheduled and for the news of Vance doing well in rehab! Continue to heal him and be with Jeannie throughout these difficult days. I continue to pray for Craig as he is in rehab and Tracy as he is on this new road of widowhood. I pray for Your strength for him and others who have lost loved ones. Lord, be so real to all with the effects of the COVID-19 'junk' we are dealing with. I pray protection over all but especially the first responders and those who are faced with the possibility of being exposed to it. I pray for Joel and all workers in prisons to be protected with so many cases of it. I thank You Marion and her friends have been kept safe with no cases at Canterfield. I know there are many facilities with many cases. Lord, may more believers be sharing You during this time of the pandemic with people more open to You. Thank You Jesus for being My Eternal Goal! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Zechariah 4:6; II Corinthians 3:6-8 - "Confidence"

This morning I woke up with the words to Confidence going through my mind. It reminded me of our Sunday School lesson this past week about the judges in the Bible. One of the attributes mentioned of a good leader was they have Confidence. A key attribute is they walk God. People in the Bible followed God as long as a judge was leading them. Once they quit allowing a judge to lead them their focus went off of God. Leaders need to live their lives in tune with God. As they do, they will know the desires of God's heart. When they walk in obedience to God, they will lead others to do the same. We must remember there is 'a time to pray...a time of waiting...and a time of action' as we live out God's will. It is easy for me to pray but it isn't always easy to wait. I've been waiting many years for some loved ones to come into relationship with Christ. I've planted seeds and I feel like those seeds have fallen on deaf ears. My heart breaks with the knowledge their final destiny will be hell unless they change before dying. It breaks to see them living lies and in sin when they could have freedom in Christ. Sometimes I fail like a failure when I think about how it appears like I am not making a difference in people's lives. I fail like I am not only failing them but especially failing God. Then He reminds me it is not up to me to save people. That is His job. It is up to me to take every opportunity He puts before me to love on people with His love. That is my purpose on this earth. I hope to be pleasantly surprised to see people in heaven that I influenced yet seemed to fail in seeing come into a relationship with Him. Woo hoo! But even with the knowledge that I am not responsible for people's salvation I must never stop sharing the Gospel. I know I must be a strong leader that people can trust. I also know I need to be humble and have Confidence. I am reminded this morning of what Doc preached about Sunday. I want to be a 'faith mover...love giver...hope dealer'! As I fulfill these roles God will direct me to love on those who need His love. There was a statement made in our Sunday School book that spoke volumes to me. "It is an awesome responsibility to speak for God." Yes it is! When He speaks to me, I know I need to walk in obedience to Him. I know the only way I will be who He has called me to be is to do what He desires. He did not call us to South Carolina just because I love the beach. (Although that is a nice perk to the call.) He called us to make a difference in people's lives. He called us to lead people into a deeper relationship with Him. As I look around my little world I'm not sure how many people are being influenced through us but I sure pray there are many. I pray He will use us to fulfill the desires of His heart here where He put us.

Give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense
So I can face my giants with confidence, yeah!...

There are 'giants' before us every day that try to stop us from living out God's will. The way to stand up against those 'giants' is to live out what Doc preached Sunday. I need to be a 'faith mover...love giver...hope dealer' for them to be knocked down. Daniel had faith, David loved with God's love, and Moses had great hope. If I want to be like these great men, I need to stand upon II Timothy 1:7 in His empowerment so He can love through me in a mighty way. Zechariah 4:6 will give me the Confidence I need to do this. Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Almighty (NIV). I love what Matthew Henry writes of the first six verses of Zechariah 4.

The prophet's spirit was willing to attend, but the flesh was weak. We should beg of God that, whenever he speaks to us, he would awaken us, and we should then stir up ourselves. The church is a golden candlestick, or lamp-bearer, set up for enlightening this dark world, and holding forth the light of Divine revelation. Two olive trees were seen, one on each side the candlestick, from which oil flowed into the bowl without ceasing. God brings to pass his gracious purposes concerning his church, without any art or labour of man; sometimes he makes use of his instruments, yet he needs them not. This represented the abundance of Divine grace, for the enlightening and making holy the ministers and members of the church, and which cannot be procured or prevented by any human power. 

We cannot do His will in our own strength. It can only be accomplished through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. This is why we cannot 'save' someone. Only God can save them. It is why we cannot sanctify someone. Only God can sanctify. We must be ready to plant the seeds so He can harvest the crop. We may not understand His timing but it is not for us to understand. We just have to keep on trusting Him in all situations. I am reminded of Paul's words to the Corinthians in I Corinthians 3:6-8 (NIV) in regard to our purpose on this earth.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 

So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 

The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.

Once again I think about how there is 'a time to pray...a time of waiting...and a time of action.' As I pray, God will speak. As He speaks, I will listen and wait for His time to act upon what He gives me. This is key in my walk of obedience to Him.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the beautiful weather You are giving us! Thank You for the accomplishment of getting the shrubs trimmed yesterday! Thank You for dinner that Darryll provided for us last night! Thank You for being with us throughout the night as Doc dealt with pain! Oh Father, how I pray for relief for him. I pray for Your healing to come down upon him. I pray for all who are dealing with physical ailments to feel Your touch. I pray for those who are mourning to feel Your presence in their life. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not be able to be with a loved one in their final minutes. I know there are always going to be situations with miles apart where that will happen but to be there in the same town and not be able to be with them would hurt so bad. When I was a Medical Chaplain, I saw people making decisions for You or making restoration in a relationship with a loved one in their final moments. Father, may people lean into You to get through these days with the COVID-19. Lord, I pray for a cleansing in my spirit so You can fill me to overflowing with Yourself. I pray Your love will ooze out of me in a way that people will desire to have the relationship with You that I experience every day. May You shine brightly through me. Thank You Father for being My Confidence! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Ephesians 6:10-20; Proverbs 3:5-6; Philippians 4:13; James 1:2-3 - "Move"

Wow! Over ten hours of sleep is crazy to think about. We slept with the windows open last night which was wonderful. If there wouldn't have been noise from a vehicle outside, I still might be sleeping. Yesterday was an emotional day with Doc waking up with dizziness. After preaching he went to bed and was there most of the day. He didn't eat much and slept a lot. Such days play havoc on not just my emotions but on my physical body as well. Today is a new day and I pray it is a better one for him. I pray there is less pain, no dizziness, and the fatigue is not as bad. I do not normally like the word 'hate' but I will have to say it is how I feel about cancer. The things he is going through are not fun by any means. They are tough not only on him but on me as well. I just want him to feel better and not have to go through this junk. But until God heals him this is what we have to live with. The only way to get through it is to lean into God for more of His strength. We have to keep strong in our faith in knowing God knows the outcome and will see us through all that is ahead. This morning the tears are falling as a song Toby Mac sings is going through my head.

I know your heart been broke again
I know your prayers ain't been answered yet
I know you're feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet so

Move, keep walkin' soldier keep movin' on
Move, keep walkin' until the mornin' comes
Move, keep walkin' soldier keep movin' on
And lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet

Doc keeps saying, "As long as there is breath there is hope." I know that. I believe it. But these days are so, so hard. I must not allow the enemy an open door. I must stay strong in the Lord. As His soldier I must put on His armor every day to not just get through these tough days but to shine brightly for Him. I will stand upon II Timothy 1:7 in His empowerment as I put on His armor of Ephesians 6:10-20. As I do, I will have His wisdom of Proverbs 3:5-6. I can do this in His strength of Philippians 4:13 and with His joy of James 1:2-3. As I do, I know He will encourage me through every moment of every day. I also know He will use me to be glorified through these tough days. I don't want to just get through them but I want to thrive through them. In yesterday's sermon Doc talked about how we need to live. I want to be a 'faith spreader, love giver, and a hope dealer'! Woo hoo! Yes! I can do this with God's empowerment!

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being with us yesterday! Thank You for empowering Doc to be able to preach with the physical issues he was having! Thank You for the dizziness stopping! Thank You for the time of worship I had in the afternoon as I listened to Emily, Matt, Chad, and Kim sing! Thank You for today's technology that keeps us connected! Father, I desire to be a 'faith spreader, love giver, and a hope dealer'! I know the only way for this desire to come to fruition is for You to cleanse me so I can be living a life filled with You. May You be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a new, different way. May You shine brightly through me as I intentionally strive to love with Your love. Father, my physical body needs a touch as well as my emotional and mental do. Most of all I pray for Your enrichment in my spiritual body. Oh Father, how I need more of You. I pray no matter what is ahead in this day You will be greater. Thank You Jesus for being My Commander! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Prize Worth Fighting For"

I prayed for pastors before going to bed and then God woke me once to pray for some specific ones. First He had me pray for pastors who are without pay due to the coronavirus. He had me pray for people who are blessed financially to be generous with them. The second group were for those who will be ordained this summer and those who will be receiving their District License. As I read the posts yesterday from different ones in Ohio I was happy for them but also a bit jealous. I was hoping this would be my year to be ordained but now with the coronavirus that may not happen. I know it's just a piece of paper and that God has already anointed me for the calling He has put on my life but it is a privilege that I want to experience with Doc by my side. God had me pray for pastors who have lost their spouse and now doing ministry on their own. He also had me pray for those who are not married yet to make sure the spouse they choose is the one He desires for them. I've seen some marriages fall apart because of a spouse who did not want to be married to a pastor. It not only affects the couple but it also can cause damage to a church. There is also a group of pastors recognized at District Assembly that are overlooked a lot of times. That is retired pastors. They have poured their life into serving God and need to be recognized for their years of service. Pastors are never completely retired but there usually comes a time where they need to retire from the day-to-day activities of pastoring a church. I love how churches use retired pastors to fill the pulpit. They have a lot of experience to share and the churches have a lot of love to give them. It is a win-win situation. When we were called to the Willard Church, Rev. Angel had been filling the pulpit. He had loved on them in a way that kept them together without a pastor. He was such a blessing! It is important for pastors to have people in their congregation who desire to love with God's love. It is easier to work together for a common goal when people are willing to be involved in spreading the Gospel. The more people are in the church, the more they will desire to be the church. The other day I was in a conversation about this time we are in right now with not meeting together. The person said they were afraid when this was over people will be out of the habit of going to church and so churches would be empty. I disagreed and said I think the church will look different because people will have the desire to be together as a church body. I believe true Christians are drawing closer to God through this time. They are praying, reading their Bibles, sharing God's love with their neighbors, etc. But what they said may be true for those who are just going day-in/day-out without pouring more of Him into themselves. We have all the time in the world to spend more time with Him and that is exactly what He desires of us to do. Yesterday was a 'lazy' day for me where I felt like I didn't accomplish much. I made Doc's breakfast and made peanut butter candy for some people but that was about all that I accomplished. I was in pain and just laid around most of the day. But even when I was being 'lazy' I still was in tune with God by reading His Word, praying, and loving on others. I need to be more intentional in doing these things to a greater depth but I do them daily. When something becomes a habit, it becomes natural to do it. It is in my nature to live in His presence. I would not know how to do life without Him and am so thankful I will never have to. He is with me while I am on this earth and I will spend eternity with Him. I woke up to a song Jamie Kimmett sings...

When every days just another struggle 
And every choice is an act of war
Gotta pray gotta press on
To the prize worth fighting for
When it feels like I'll never make it
When my hearts crying out for more
Gotta pray gotta press on 
To the prize worth fighting for

Yes! He is the prize I have my eyes on! He is Who I live for every day. When the enemy comes knocking, I know He empowers me to stand firm in my faith. II Timothy 1:7 is in my mind at all time along with Proverbs 3:5-6 which enables me to have His wisdom. I do not have to do anything on my own but instead can walk in the knowledge that He is in control of every second of every day. Woo hoo! There is such peace in this knowledge. Today is Sunday. It normally is a day to gather with my church family to worship as a corporate body of believers. Right now that is not possible but that does not mean I won't set aside specific time to worship Him. I personally worship Him every day but Sunday is different when I worship Him with a church body. Today is one of those days where my body does not want to function but I know He is my strength and will empower me through it. He will bless me as I bless Him. He will love on me in such a way that I will feel His strength to know I'm not alone in the battles on this earth. Woo hoo!

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for my time to pray for pastors before going to bed, during the night, and then again this morning! Thank You for my pastor who is struggling physically this morning! I pray Your healing hand will come down upon Doc. Empower him with Your strength as he preaches. Give him exactly what he needs physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to not just get through this day but to shine brightly for You. Thank You for those on the NCO District who were told yesterday about getting their first District License, renewal of their District License, and those who will be ordained. Lord, You know the desire of my heart is to be ordained this year with Doc by my side. I pray that desire will come to existence. I also pray for retired pastors to feel Your loving arms wrapped around them, especially when they feel like they are no longer needed. May they realize when You called them it was not just until retirement age but for their entire life. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me with more of You. I pray for my cup to overflow with You today. Thank You Jesus for being The Prize Worth Fighting For! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Psalm 11 - "Control"

I had a hard time going to sleep last night and then was awake multiple times throughout the night. My prayers are so heavy for two situations. One is for a troubled marriage and the other for a family in turmoil. God gave me Psalm 11 a couple times. In the New Living Testament it reads:

1 I trust in the Lord for protection.
So why do you say to me,
    “Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety!
2 The wicked are stringing their bows
    and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings.
They shoot from the shadows
    at those whose hearts are right.
3 The foundations of law and order have collapsed.
    What can the righteous do?”

4 But the Lord is in his holy Temple;
    the Lord still rules from heaven.
He watches everyone closely,
    examining every person on earth.
5 The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked.
    He hates those who love violence.
6 He will rain down blazing coals and burning sulfur on the wicked,
    punishing them with scorching winds.
7 For the righteous Lord loves justice.
    The virtuous will see his face.

As I pray for physical, mental, emotional, and financial protection in these two situations my heart breaks. I have shed many tears over both of them. I also need to continue to pray for spiritual protection for them. God is right there with them. They know that yet in times of turmoil it is easy for the enemy to take our eyes off of Him. I read about this Psalm this morning in Charles Spurgeon's Commentary:

Charles Simeon gives an excellent summary of this Psalm in the following sentences:--"The Psalms are a rich repository of experimental knowledge. David, at the different periods of his life, was placed in almost every situation in which a believer, whether rich or poor, can be placed; in these heavenly compositions he delineates all the workings of the heart. He introduces, too, the sentiments and conduct of the various persons who were accessory either to his troubles or his joys; and thus sets before us a compendium of all that is passing in the hearts of men throughout the world. When he penned this Psalm he was under persecution from Saul, who sought his life, and hunted him 'as a partridge upon the mountains.' His timid friends were alarmed for his safety, and recommended him to flee to some mountain where he had a hiding-place, and thus to conceal himself from the rage of Saul. But David, being strong in faith, spurned the idea of resorting to any such pusillanimous expedients, and determined confidently to repose his trust in God." To assist us to remember this short, but sweet Psalm, we will give it the name of "THE SONG OF THE STEADFAST." 

The prayers I have been sending up for these two situations have been for protection. This Psalm has tweaked my prayers to pray for the ones involved to: stand firm in their faith; trust God with the situations they are in; and seek His wisdom. As they live out II Timothy 1:7 in His love and empowerment they will realize His strength in the situation they are in. Throughout the night the words to the song Control were going through my mind.

I've had plans
Shattered and broken
Things I have hoped in
Fall through my hands
You have plans
To redeem and restore me
You're behind and before me
Oh help me believe

God You don't need me
But somehow You want me
Oh how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To take my hands off of my life
And the way it should go, oh
God You don't need me
But somehow You want me
Oh how You love me
Somehow that frees me
To open my hands up
And give You control

We all need to get to the end of ourselves and give Him control. We need to allow Him to protect us through situations in life that seem impossible. He already knows the outcome of our situations and is ready to empower us to make decisions based on His will. He gives us free will so when the enemy comes knocking at our door we have a choice to make on whether we will allow him an inroad or not. Oh how I pray the enemy out of these two situations. He is clearly in them and needs removed. My God is not a God of chaos but of order. The enemy loves to cause issues in relationships but God loves to empower people to work things out when there are disagreements. This morning I pray for all involved to seek His will. But before they can do that they must ask God to forgive them for what they have done so He can wipe their slate clean. I'm praying for restitution in relationships to occur sooner than later.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for laying these situations on my heart to pray for! Thank You for restoring relationships in my life over the years! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me so I can walk where You so desire me of me today. Go before me and be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts in a more intentional way. Father, my physical pain is nothing compared to what Doc is going through but we both need Your healing touch today. Lord, I continue to pray protection over these two situations I have been praying for. I pray for those involved to lean into Your strength. I rebuke the enemy out of both situations. Lord, be so real to those who are being attacked. May they realize You are with them no matter what happens. May they sense Your strength and love in a mighty way today. Thank You Jesus for being The One In Control Of My Life! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Oceans"

Today is Friday. I think. LOL! These days are hard to keep track of with the COVID-19. For some people, this use to be the last day of their work week. For students, it use to be the last day of their school week. It use to be our 'day off' for many years. We did everything possible to 'protect' it so we could spend it doing what we wanted to do. Normally, that included going shopping and out-to-eat or spending it with family. I love 'dates' with my honey and Fridays were so special. Now we are together 24/7 with very few 'dates' happening due to 'C' being in our lives. This is a week where I really could use a 'date' night. I feel like this week has been one of the longest of my life but I'm sure there have probably been worse ones. I feel like I can't function today. The tears want to fall without stopping and I just want to lay in bed. When I finally decided I needed to get up, I didn't have to because my honey had brought my laptop and Vitamin water into the bedroom at some point for me. That is a good thing and a bad thing. It allows me to stay in bed a little bit longer. I can just hear my Daddy say, "Now Sheila Babe. It's OK to rest but you cannot stay laying around. If you do, the MS will take over." I know what I have to do to keep functioning but days like today don't make me want to do it. I think my problem is this week was too full of emotions. The anniversary of my Daddy's death and his birthday; storms with threats of tornadoes; continued 'junk' of COVID-19; mammogram; Doc's blood work being low and not knowing if he was going to have chemo; his chemo treatment causing such sickness afterward; the scheduling of a CT scan to see why the cancer marker has jumped so high and to see what is causing his pain; not being able to be with him for appointments; my Momma being alone; deaths of friends family members from pancreatic cancer; stress from completing some important paperwork for the church...goodness. When I put it on paper, it's no wonder I feel like I'm falling apart. I am grateful for God's love and strength. I need more of Him to not just get through this day but to thrive through it. I don't want to be crying all day long. I don't want to feel like I can't put one foot in front of the other. I need my tank filled up. I need Him to show His mighty empowerment through me. I know it will take action from me for this to happen. I have to allow Him to have total access into my life and stand in faith knowing He is here for me.

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
And You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

Yes! As I live in His presence, He will continue to give me exactly what I need. As I give Him all of these things from this week, He will fill me will what I need to see them as opportunities to grow in my relationship with Him instead of burdens. I will continue to stand upon II Timothy 1:7 in His empowerment. I know this is the only way to live a life of obedience to Him. I also know it is the only way to live in peace in times of turmoil. I am grateful for this knowledge and for the way He uses me as His faithful servant. I am going to soak in Him today and allow Him to refresh me. I know His will is for me to lean into Him and that is exactly what I will be more intentional in doing. I'm tired from this week in many aspects of my life but I will not allow the enemy an open door because of it. I will allow God to fill me up with more of Him so His strength is mine. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for ten plus hours of sleep last night! Thank You for protecting us from the storms! I pray for those who had damage or loss of life to be surrounded by people who will love them with Your love. I also pray for Doc to not be in bed all day today. Thank You for him being able to eat a little yesterday! Thank You for Chris who picked up groceries for us; Carol who brought cookies; and Darryll who brought gelato yesterday! We felt so loved! Lord, be with my Momma who has had a 'tough' emotional week too. It's so hard for her to be alone. I also pray for those who have lost loved ones this week from pancreatic cancer. Tracy and Sheryl. I continue to pray for people with who have been diagnosed with COVID-19; front-line workers; and all of us to be protected from it. I pray for our government as they make decisions regarding this pandemic and for those with loss of income due to it. Lord, use all believers to show Your love to those who are hurting so badly in these days. May You be glorified in all we do. May Your love flow freely from us as we do Your will. I pray prayers of protection over my friend with marital issues and a family in turmoil. May You be their strength in a mighty way. Thank You Jesus for being My Everything! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; Psalm 46:1-3, 91; I Peter 5:7-9; Romans 8 - "Oh Lord, You're Beautiful"

I woke up during the night to the words of Keith Green's song Oh Lord, You're Beautiful going through my head. They are still with me this morning.

Oh Lord, You're Beautiful
Your face is all I seek
For when Your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me

Oh Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clear
Replace the lamp of my first love
That burns with holy fear

I want to live in this manner. I want to seek Him with all I have and live out His grace. I know the way to a life of total obedience to Him comes through staying focused on Him. Sometimes in days like yesterday it is easy to lose my focus. But then He reminds me it is His love that is what gets me through such days. As I walked a little bit while I waited on Doc to finish up chemo the song He gave me yesterday morning kept going through my mind. My fear doesn't stand a chance when I stand in Your love. I don't have to fear anything but instead I just have to stand in His empowerment and love that Paul teaches about in II Timothy 1:7. Fear comes from the enemy...faith comes from God. Last night Nancy said in Bible study that God gives us tests...the enemy gives us temptations. The enemy wants to see us fall. That is why he tempts us. God wants to see us thrive through 'tough' times. That is why He tests us. God knows our faith will grow through trials. He knows we will be refined and molded more into His image through trials. I don't have to fear the future because God has everything under control. What I have to do is press into Him more to allow Him to give me His wisdom. I must stay focused on Him. If I don't, the enemy will have an open door into my life. I cannot allow that. God is always with me. He was with me yesterday as we waited to hear whether Doc's blood work was too low to have chemo and for the preliminary results from my mammogram. I'm thankful for the time He gave me to walk for a little bit on the path behind the infusion center. It was so beautiful. I needed it. Oh how I wish I could go sit at Hunting Island and bask in the sun as the Son shines down on me. I need some 'water therapy'! I do believe I get as much out of this kind of 'water therapy' as I did when I went to the Wellness Center for 'water therapy'! I miss going for walks by the waterfront downtown. Hopefully soon those things can happen again. But I am happy for these days of being self-quarantined with my sweetie. God knew we needed a day like Tuesday to get us through what was coming Wednesday. I wish I wasn't so emotional on such days but He keeps reminding me that He created me just like I am. I am so grateful for the way my parents raised me to live out my faith. I am grateful to be married to a strong godly man who lives out his faith. I am grateful to have friends who encourage me by living out lives of faith. Plain and simple. I am grateful. I will not allow the enemy to steal my joy. Instead I will live out II Timothy 1:7 so God can empower me to not fear but instead love with His love and make decisions based upon Him. I desire to please my Heavenly Daddy and walk in obedience to what He desires of me. I must stay focused on Him so I can live this type of life. He has given me this gift of time during the COVID-19 and I desire to continue opening up this gift every day. I do not want to waste it but instead I want to use it to enhance my marriage, my relationships, and most of all my walk with God. I'm thankful for the time to: be with Doc, be in God's Word; pray more; and love on people more. These are 'different' days but that doesn't mean they are 'bad'! It is all in how one looks at them. I choose to see the cup half full and not half empty. I know the more I do, the more He will bless me with His presence. In His presence is the place I choose to dwell. There is where I feel the closest to Him. It is where I find shelter from the yuckiness of life. It is where I find His strength to carry on. He is my Umbrella when the 'rain' comes pouring down in the storms of life. He protects me, leads me, and covers me from harm. I do not have to do anything in my own strength but instead can stand strong in His. I do not have to make any decisions on my own but instead allow Him to give me His wisdom. I am so grateful for this knowledge. I also am grateful for His Word that reinforces this. Psalm 46:1-3 reads in the Good News Translation:

God is our shelter and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken
    and mountains fall into the ocean depths;
3 even if the seas roar and rage,
    and the hills are shaken by the violence.

Yes! These verses encourage me that God is always with me. Psalm 91 in the New International Version also encourages me.

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

I Peter 5:7-9 also encourages me to live out II Timothy 1:7 every day but especially on 'tough' days. It reads in The Passion Translation:

7 Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you. 8 Be well balanced and always alert, because your enemy, the devil, roams around incessantly, like a roaring lion looking for its prey to devour. 9 Take a decisive stand against him and resist his every attack with strong, vigorous faith. For you know that your believing brothers and sisters around the world are experiencing the same kinds of troubles you endure.

It is key to remember when we give something to God we need to not take it back. Instead we need to allow Him to use it to grow our spiritual beings. We need to remember He already knows the outcome and will see us through whatever lies ahead. I have given Him the situation with the cancer in Doc's pancreas. I continue to pray for a healing for him while on this earth but if that is not what will happen I know He is with me. I know He will see me through whatever lies ahead. Praise His Holy Name! I am grateful for people who pray for us. Sometimes my heart hurts so bad I feel like I can't pray. I am grateful for Paul's words in Romans 8:26-28 in The Message. Earlier in the chapter Paul spoke of the importance of living a life of obedience to God. He will see us through the storms of life in a way that is unlike any other. Paul compares us waiting for a storm to end in life to the birth of a child. It includes pain yet there is joy in the outcome. As a pregnant woman waits, she goes through pain and becomes enlarged. The same happens to believers who are waiting for a storm to pass. There may not be joy on this earth when the storm passes but there is eternal joy for all who believe. 

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Yes! What encouragement I gain from His Word. I am so grateful for the way He brings everything into perspective through writers from years ago.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for being with us yesterday! Thank You for Your Word that encourages me greatly! Thank You for giving us both another day of life! I pray You will cleanse us so we can be Your faithful servants. I pray for Your words, actions, attitude, and thoughts to be ours today. Lord, may today be a better day for Doc physically, mentally, and emotionally. May we both feel Your empowerment throughout this day. As we wait for an appointment for his CT scan and then wait on the results, may You continue to give us Your strength. Lord, thank You for Marlene, Sandy, Melissa, and Mike who encouraged me last night! Thank You for the time I had to 'be with' Noel and his family for worship! May You continue to bless them. I pray for Tracy as they go through 'tough' days to lean into You for strength. I continue to pray for others like David and Lisa who are dealing with cancer. I pray for Sheryl with the death of her brother; Chuck with the death of his father; and the Moya family with Bella's death. May You be close to all. I also pray for those affected by the COVID-19 virus to feel Your presence in their lives. Lord, continue to empower me to keep my focus on You. Today would have been my earthly Daddy's 95th birthday. I know he is rejoicing with You and in turn I am rejoicing with You! Be with my Momma today and empower her to bask on the memories of when he was with her on this earth. Thank You for being My Umbrella! Amen.