Those were the words going through my mind as I took a "hippy-hippy shake" pill. There was no explanation for why my arms were out-of-control. I rested pretty much all day yesterday and didn't over due physically. There wasn't any great amount of stress so that wasn't the reason. I prayed and asked God to show me what the purpose was in going through them. His response was, "It is not for you to know." My response to that was, "What?!?!?"
Monday I understood why I had to take the pills. I knew I was pushing myself with trimming the bushes but it's something that I do so I did it. Yesterday though just didn't make sense. And then to have to take two pills in order to get the shakies under control was a bit much. I don't understand the "why" of the MS. I don't understand "why" things happen sometimes and not other times. But I guess I found out yesterday that I don't need to understand any of it.
I am so grateful for a husband...
- who fixed my burger and corn without complaining
- who didn't grimace as I ate holding my arms against the table
- who got extra napkins when my mess became great
- who cut up my second hamburger so I could try to eat with the fork
- who loves me enough to not leave me through such times as this (75% divorce rate for people with MS)
I am also grateful for my God…
- who allowed this situation to happen in the privacy of our home
- who encouraged me through my husband
- who is always there for me…even if I don't like His answers
- who strengthens me each and every day as I deal with MS
- who answered my prayer by not having me get called to the hospital overnight
James 1:2-4 reads…
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I chose joy last night as I went through the time with my arms being out of control. I chose joy later in the evening as I experienced dizziness for no reason. I chose joy when my husband helped me to bed and encouraged me to not fret over the possibility of getting called to the hospital. I choose joy in order to persevere through MS.
Dear Jesus,
I love You so much and am so grateful for the way You encourage me. I will admit that there are days when this MS gets to me. First of all, I don't understand why I have to go through it and secondly, I don't understand when things happen in my body that don't make sense. But Father I will listen to Your words. "It is not for you to know." I didn't want to accept those words when I first heard them but quickly realized they were from You so I needed to accept them. Thank You Jesus for being My Encourager. Amen.
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