This morning the Lord woke me with the desire to read Psalm 13. It's just a short chapter written by David but it is full of great insight. It reads in the New King James Version:
1 How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and hear me, O LORD my God;
Enlighten my eyes,
Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
4 Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
5 But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.
David went through a lot of heartache in his lifetime. He also went through times of turning blatantly to sin instead of walking the narrow road with God. He had a lot to lament about. In this particular Psalm he speaks of the Lord not answering his prayers. I was reminded this morning that He always hears and always answers our prayers. His answer may not be what we desire but it is always there. In verse two where David speaks of taking counsel in my soul we can learn what we need to do when our prayers seem to be hitting the ceiling and going no where. We need to look at ourselves. Is there anything between God and us? Is there anything we need to repent of so we can hear His voice? We also need to have David's attitude for God to Enlighten our eyes. Our prayers may not be answered in the time we desire because God is using a particular situation to test us. Will we go deeper in our faith or will we quit believing? Will we allow Him to work in and through us or will we walk away from Him? Verse five shows how David chose to trust God and rejoice in Him through tough times. This way led to David realizing the joy only God can give. David's trust grew through his grief. His faith in God deepened through tough days. This is where I want to continue living. I prayed for fifteen months for God to heal Doc on this earth sooner than later. The last few weeks of his life my prayers changed to asking Him to take Doc out of the suffering he was experiencing. When we found out the cancer had spread into his spine and bones, my heart was broken. I knew his time was short to continue doing life with me. I rejoiced in the fact his suffering was coming to an end and his rejoicing with Jesus was drawing near but my heart hurt. It continues to hurt and the tears flow freely from time to time. Having times of laughter with friends yesterday enables me to get through the lonely times where I miss him so much. I am praying for God to enlighten me as to how function in this new life before me. I am praying for Him to heal the hurts of my heart and to give me wisdom with decisions I am making alone for the first time in many years. I desire in my heart to be able to say what David said as I continue on this road. But I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me. Yes! I will trust Him! I will be joyful! I know He will give me exactly what I need through the process. I will stand upon Philippians 4:6-7. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy, and grace! Thank You for friends who brought laughter to my day yesterday! Mike, Will, Sandy, Joshua and Tiffany. Thank You for a good night's sleep! Father, I desire to be as David in trusting You and realizing the joy and peace only You can give. May You cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You be realized in my life in a mighty way through these days of adjusting to life without Doc. May Your peace be my peace. May You use the tears that flow to comfort me. Father, there are so many people who have lost their spouse with many just over the last year. May You be exactly what we all need so we can realize what You have for us. My heart is broken yet I know You are right there to love on me through the hurt. May You be greater than the hurt. May You be realized today in a new, different way. Thank You Jesus for being My Heart Mender! Amen.
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