II Timothy 1:7 - "There Was Jesus"

What a rough night. I could not go to sleep for thinking about Mordecei. At one point I got up when he sounded like he was going to be sick. Thankfully it was a false alarm. I tossed and turned and prayed. I asked God to give me wisdom and peace. I prayed He would take him in his sleep so I didn't have to make 'the' decision. Throughout the night I woke and prayed more. I know it does no good to say 'I wish' but I do wish the timing for 'the' decision would have been while Doc was still on this earth. Once when Mordecei woke me crying I started crying myself. I am so torn. I don't want to not have my four legged buddy with me yet I know it is not fair to him to keep him here with what he is going through. Many have given me their opinions on the matter but I am the only one who can make 'the' decision. I continue to pray for God to give me guidance. Throughout the night the words to There Was Jesus were going through my mind every time I was awake. What a comfort!

In the waiting, in the searching
In the healing, in the hurting
Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces
Every minute, every moment
Where I've been or where I'm going
Even when I didn't know it
Or couldn't see it
There was Jesus

Praise His Holy Name! He is always with me! He is always here to give me exactly what I need when I need it. I am so grateful for that knowledge. I do not have to fear anything. All I need to do is stand upon II Timothy 1:7 and allow the Holy Spirit to empower me. I must continue to seek Him and walk in obedience to His will. I know that is where I will find a deeper faith than I ever had before. It is where my trust will become stronger and His love will be realized in a new way. I must not allow the enemy any open door into my life but instead must present myself before God pure and blameless at all time. I must seek more of Him and less of me in myself. Yesterday was full of tears and that is ok. They are part of the healing process of this journey I am on. God is using them to strengthen me. He is using them to heal the hurts of my heart. Oh how I miss my honey. I miss doing life with him so much. But I know that is not going to change. Therefore, I must stay focused on God to show me how to do life without Doc. I must stay focused on God to receive direction and wisdom on what to do in situations such as what I am facing with Mordecei.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being with me throughout the night! Thank You for loving me so much! Thank You for continuing to give me direction and wisdom! Father, I pray for a strong sense of direction with Mordecei's situation. I pray You will be so very real to me through this situation. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me so more of You will shine brightly through every word, action, attitude, and thought that flows from me. Thank You for Sharon and Deb's surgeries going well! May You continue to be what they both need to get through the days of recuperation. Thank You for my time with Elizabeth yesterday! May You continue to be her strength through these tough days. Thank You for guiding me through another day of life without Doc! Thank You for reminding me even when I feel so alone You are there! Thank You for My Constant! Amen.