I was reminded of Matthew 11:28-30 yesterday as I rested trying to get a headache to go away. These words were ones a friend gave me last week as I was resting from after having a biopsy. The anxiousness was hitting me hard as I awaited results. As I prayed and asked the Lord to calm my spirit He did but then it seemed like the anxiousness came back after a period of time. The weekend was tough at times but I felt His strength in me. When Monday rolled around and still no results, once again the anxiousness kicked in. I prayed for calmness and He gave it. In my humanness the anxiousness came upon me from time to time. Finally yesterday in hearing "no cancer" the tears of joy started. Then hearing 'but' I was once again anxious. In my humanness I understand taking something out that can easily turn to cancer. It was just hard to think about. All kinds of things went through my mind. When I asked when and was told "it's not an emergency but needs done within the next month" my first thought was 'if something isn't cancer than why so soon to get rid of it' then I told the doctor I want it out as soon as possible so I do not have to worry about it. Upon pondering over that appointment I am disappointed in myself. I tell people frequently 'don't worry...God has got this...' and here I am not 'practicing what I preach'! I go back to James 1:2-3 where we are told that when we go through trials we need to be joyful in knowing He is using these trials to grow our faith. It was no mistake the Lord took me back to these words this morning to bask in them. I am determined to accept His rest throughout these times. I am determined to not allow any open door for the enemy to steal my joy. There is no cancer! That in itself is a huge praise! When the schedule was open for next week and I asked for it the following week due to school and church, there was an opening. That is another praise! He is with me no matter what happens in this life and as I live my life for Him I know I will live with Him for eternity. That is another praise! I love this version of these verses. "...it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves." Woo hoo! In my humanness this situation appeared too heavy for me to handle but then as He loved on me and brought His strength to me I realized this is just another way to stretch my faith. He knows 'my curves' and He knows what I need to be His faithful servant. Dear Jesus, Thank You for the comfort of Your word. Thank You for the knowledge that You are with me no matter what comes my way. Thank You for stretching my faith. Lord, fill me with more of You as I go throughout this day. Oh how I pray people will see You working in and through me! Lord, You answered my prayers with no cancer and now I ask for You to answer my prayers for a strengthening in my spirit as I go through this surgery. Empower me with Your spirit to stand against any fear. Thank You Jesus for being My Rest. Amen.
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