"To be able to walk through that situation and give God all that I have--allow God to do His will and to learn to love and to trust in Him completely.
He continued...
In terms of a passage about giving our entire hearts to God, David is described as a man after God’s own heart. In spite of our weaknesses and our flaws, God still wants our whole hearts. The end of this song confesses that “Heaven brought you to this moment.” Even though this seemed like a terrible situation, God uses these moments to reveal His glory. He wants to use the darkness of human circumstances to redeem us with His light. He wants to use those moments in our lives to work through us and reveal Himself.
As I read these words I started thinking about my life right now with this MS flair-up. I so desire for God to be glorified in all that I do. I also desire that all I do is done whole-heartedly for the Lord. I know the Lord is in control and I pray for His will in the healing of my body, whatever that may look like.
I was reading in Mark chapter ten about the healing of Bartimaeus and began to think about his circumstances. He stayed focused. Even when Jesus walked on by he continued to cry out to Him. He did not listen to the people who kept telling him to be quiet. He didn't give up. He persevered until he was healed. Once he received his healing he shared what the Lord did for him.
I pondered this story and then started reading the rest of the chapter. It is full of good stuff! It starts off with teaching about divorce. Then Jesus blessed the children followed with teaching on how to obtain eternal life. It continues with Jesus telling them again about His upcoming death followed by a lesson on serving. The chapter concludes with Bartimaeus' healing.
There are so many things to learn from yet how many times do we even read the Bible to learn? Last night in Bible study Jim brought out that the Bible is our 'owner's manual' that we need to read regularly in order to have intimacy with the Lord. If we don't communicate with Him, how can we expect to be spend eternity with Him? How can we expect for Him to heal us or to bless us? How can we even begin to think He is with us when we only call upon Him in time of need? He never leaves us...we are the ones to leave Him. It is us who make the choice to either spend life with Him or a life of sin. In my situation with this flair-up I have the choice to be sad and depressed that I can't do my normal or to embrace each and every day as it happens. I don't know when God will heal me but I do know He will.
Once again yesterday in therapy I was reminded that reality is just that. I understand that but I also understand that Jesus tells me (Matthew 19:26) "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Woo hoo! My therapist has the goal of getting me to walking with a cane. My goal is to walk again on my own. Over the last twelve therapy sessions I have improved but not enough to be safe with a cane. Reality is I HAVE improved. Reality is my God can snap His fingers and I would be running again...well, let's see that would be a huge miracle since I wasn't running before! My reality is no matter what is ahead the Lord is with me. That means if I have to use a walker or cane the rest of my life, He will give me the strength to do so. That means if I am never able to drive again, He will give me the emotional/mental strength to adjust. My reality is the Lord's strength will enable me to do His will and He will be glorified through it!
Until the time the Lord tells me this is my reality as things are I will look to Bartimaeus' as my example. I will stay focused on the Lord. I will not give up asking for His will. I will continue to share what the Lord does for me each and every day. Woo hoo! I am excited to see what this day holds! I realize the day is half over for some people but that's OK. I must just not need as many hours to accomplish His will today as other days when I am up early!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the way You speak to me. Thank You for the way You use music to teach me. I pray for more of You to be reveled in and through me through this flair-up in order for Your glory to shine. Father, I am standing on Your word that says all things are possible with You. I know in the blink of an eye I could be walking on my own again. I also know reality may be that I use a walker or cane the rest of my life on this earth. But no matter what I am Your servant and I will continue to serve. You gave me the example of how to have a servant heart. I will follow that example as best I can. Lord, I have some prayer requests for some people going through some tough stuff this morning. I pray You will be so very real to them during this time. Draw them closer to You so they will feel the empowerment of the Holy Spirit come down upon them. Thank You Jesus for being My Reality. Amen.
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