II Corinthians 12:7 - "Cast My Cares"

As I fell into bed last night crying with pain in my legs I started praying for the Lord to give me exactly what I needed. I prayed for a soothing in my legs...a quietness in my emotional being...and most of all for His supernatural empowerment in my entire being. As I was going to sleep He reminded me of a scripture a friend shared with me late Monday night. She shared II Corinthians 12:7 which is part of a section entitled "Paul's Vision and His Thorn" in my Bible...

I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. 5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, 7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As I was falling to sleep I thought about what Kim shared with me. It was about one with a disability who realized the enemy was attacking her through the disability. She made the decision to quit focusing on the disability and began appreciating it as a gift. I can so see my M.S. as a gift because it opens doors for others to see Jesus. My M.S. is a testimony to Him. There have been so many times where I have prayed for a healing and the Lord has told me "No. It is for my glory." Do I like that answer? Yes and no. No that I have to contend with M.S. but YES that He is glorified through it. As I read Kim's words, I realized the only way for Him to be glorified through it is for me to appreciate it fully. I need to get better at doing that! I need to find ways to appreciate it more! I need to embrace that "For when I am weak, then I am strong." Of course, I already know it is by His strength that I get through every day and for that I am grateful. I already know He will be glorified through all I do when I live a life of surrender to Him. I know these things...now I need to get better at living them.

It was no surprise when I woke up singing "Cast My Cares" this morning...

I will cast my cares on You
You're the anchor of my hope
The only one who's in control
I will cast my cares on You
I'll trade the troubles of this world
For Your peace inside my soul

This war's not what I would've chosen
But You see the future no one knows yet

And there's still good when I can't
See the working of Your hands
You're holding it all

Yes! He is the "...anchor of my hope..the only one who's in control"! I praise the Lord I don't have to understand M.S. or why I have it. I don't even have to explain to others when they tell me everything I do wrong in life that makes it worse. He is the Only One who I answer to. He is the Only One who I will take direction from. Oh my how these words are so true.."This war's not what I would've chosen" as far as my physical body goes. I don't like the tingling or the fatigue or the loss of motor/cognitive skills. BUT knowing God is in control, knows the outcome AND will be glorified through it I am blessed.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the strength You empowered me with us to not only get through Fritzie's funeral but to be blessed by it. Thank You for the eleven hours of sleep last night. Thank You for the reminder of Kim's words last night and then waking me with this song this morning. You are so awesome! Lord, I have a new day in front of me. I praise You for the opportunities You will shine as I embrace them. I pray for my dear friends who are in the last days with their Momma and for my friends who woke up this morning with the knowledge their Momma was no longer on this earth. Love on both of these families in such a way they will know people are praying for them. Encourage them. Speak to them. Give them Your peace. Lord, I am asking for Your supernatural empowerment in my Spirit today. I don't want to just get through this day but I want to feel like I blessed many at the end of the day. The desire of my heart is for people to see Your strength in me. I pray for my legs to quit tingling and to have a strengthening IF that is Your will. If someone's life will be changed through this, so be it. I only want Your will. Thank You Jesus for being My Anchor. Amen.