Many times when going through trials in life it is hard to know what to pray for. When we pray asking God to heal us from a disease or change our circumstances, there are many things that come into play. What if God wants to use the disease to bring someone into relationship to Him? What if God wants to take us deeper in our faith through the trial? What if God wants to be glorified through our trial? What if God needs to use the situation to make us realize we are not the one in control? So, so many questions that only He knows the answers to. This morning as I started praying for God to be with us today as Doc goes to chemo He reminded me to pray for His will in the situation. So I did. As I prayed, I started thinking about 'His will' and what that means. Shouldn't it mean 'on earth as it is in heaven' as we are told to pray in Matthew 6:10? There is no disease in heaven. Therefore, if we pray in this manner we are asking Him to remove it from the earth. Why does He not remove cancer from this earth? Why does He even allow to happen? Why do little ones suffer have to endure the suffering from it? I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of hearing about people whose cancer has returned. I'm tired of hearing about people dying from it. I'm tired of watching my husband be so discouraged by it. I'm tired of being fearful every time it is time to go back for a mammogram to check to make sure the cancer has not returned in my breast. I'm just tired. I also am pushing more into the Lord than ever before. Maybe that's the reason for it. He desires more people to be in total relationship with Him and the only way that will happen is for them to experience trials in life. Trials in this life on earth will either lead one to heaven for eternity or hell. We have a choice to make on whether we will lean into Him or allow the enemy to play havoc in our lives. We have the choice of either living in misery or living in joy. Sometimes it is much easier to wallow in a pity party than it is to stand firm in our faith but we cannot allow the enemy victory. We must remember God always wins! He will give us victory when we allow Him! Doc preached Sunday about the importance of going into our prayer closets. As he was speaking about it I thought about how important prayer is in my life. I thrive through my constant communication with God. If I did not have it, I would be lost. If I could not voice my petitions and praises knowing He heard them, I would be lost. If I did not live out a Matthew 6:6 prayer life, I would not have a Matthew 7:7 life. He answers all my prayers. The answer may not be what I want to hear but it is always His will. Woo hoo! This morning as I pray for cancer to be wiped from this earth I must realize He did not cause cancer but He will use it for His glory when we allow Him. I'm tired and very emotional but I'm still joyful because God will win. I must remember the words of James 1:2-4 and persevere through this time. I must remember He is my empowerment just as II Timothy 1:7 tells me.
Dear Jesus,
Take my tears this morning and empower me through them to stand in Your will. Take my hurts and love me through them today. Give me Your words to be the soothing balm Doc needs to hear to get through this treatment. Use the chemo to shrink the tumor. Be with the tumor group in Charleston this morning and give them wisdom as they discuss Doc's case. Father, most of all help me to pray for and accept Your will. Cleanse me so I can be filled with more of You. Take away my tiredness of this situation so I do not lose the joy You give me. I pray nothing will keep me from seeing opportunities You give me today to love on others with Your love. I also pray You will calm my emotions...calm the tears. Be with so many who are dealing with 'C' in their life. Dale, Mike, Rickki's sister-in-law, Rebecca's neighbor, the teens teacher's daughter, Rita, Jill's Mom, Little Richie, Phil's little granddaughter, my two pastor friends, and so many others. Thank You Jesus for being Thy Will! Amen.
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