"You're a good, good Father...that's who You are, who You are...and I'm loved by You...that's who I am..." This song was going through my mind when I woke up this morning. I needed the reminder that He knows what I need before I even voice it. Last night as I opened up to Doc on how I was feeling I began to cry. He told me he didn't know exactly why C came into my life but he did know through the MS, back and cervical surgeries, his surgeries and diabetes the Lord used them all to take our faith deeper. In this song it says, "As you call me deeper still...Into love, love, love..." The depth of my love for the Lord and for others is pretty deep but it can always go deeper. My faith in Him has continued to deepen through 2016 with the move, change in ministry, change in finances and now C. This morning He told me to read Hebrews 11 again. This chapter is known as the 'faith chapter' and is full of stories of the faith of great people from long ago. In the beginning couple of verses it reads, "...the elders obtained a good report." John Wesley calls that report a testimony. He said, "God gave a testimony, not only of them but to them: and they received his testimony as if it had been the things themselves of which he testified." In other words, they passed on the testimony to others. That made me think about the nurse at the surgeon's office who told me from the very beginning that no matter what happened from the biopsy and then later the surgery, God was giving me a testimony to share. Wow! But then when I think about falling apart in tears last night I think, 'How can that show a testimony of faith if I fall apart?' I am human and God created me with emotion. Tears do not mean my faith is lessened. In fact, tears can be a step in a deeper walk of faith. Someone needs to hear my testimony. Someone will go deeper in their faith from hearing it. I have faith that God will use C to His glory. Do I like having C? Yes, if He is glorified through it. Do I like waiting on the further pathology results? Yes, if He is glorified through this waiting time. Will I like the results of the genetic testing? Yes, if He is glorified through them. Bottom line is that my faith must be the foundation to my testimony which He will be glorified through.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for yesterday with the phone conversation with Miss Bella. Thank You for the opportunity to hold little Miss Everly for the first time. Thank You for whatever is ahead in this day. I pray for opportunities to share You with others. Fill me to overflowing so people will see and hear You through my words, my actions and most importantly my attitude. I pray for tomorrow where we will gather as a corporate body of believers to worship You. Father, take my faith deeper in whatever ways are needed. That is a pretty strong prayer but I know You will give me the strength to do whatever You put before me. Woo hoo! Thank You Jesus for being My Faith Builder! Amen.
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