Revelation 5:12 - "I Will Rise"

Five years ago today I wrote these words... 

meditated on Rev 5:12
In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"
I woke up this morning to the song “I Will Rise”…awww….love when the Lord wakes me up singing. The first part of this song is one I can relate to….”There’s a peace I’ve come to know...I can say ‘It is well’” Woo hoo! Thank You Jesus for Your peace. Even though I fall apart in the midst of storms I still have peace that the Lord is with me. I’m thankful for promises He gives to me to encourage me to keep on keepin’ on! I’m thankful for the knowledge that “I will rise when He calls my name”. I’m also thankful “There’s a day that’s drawing near” when there will be “No more sorrow, no more pain”. Woo hoo! Thank You Jesus for being the Anchor of my soul!

I'm not sure what 'storm' I was going through at the time but I am grateful He continues to be My Anchor through all that comes before me. Dan Bohi talked on the conference call yesterday about how his wife along with other ministry leaders wives get hit in their physical body the more their ministry goes deeper in doing God's will. He discussed James 1 which is one of my favorite chapters to read in times of trials. When we are going through the storms of life, we must persevere. Not only must we persevere but we also must ask God to give us wisdom through the storms. That is where I am right now...seeking His wisdom on further treatment. Many have given me their opinion on what I should or shouldn't do with C. Some have been nice about it while others have not. I am thankful people are not who I have to listen to. God is. I know He speaks to people at times to give a word to others. But if people are just speaking on their own then they are not the ones I need to listen to. I am thankful for the peace He has given me along this path. That peace is not attainable in the world. It is only attainable through living in the supernatural power of God. As Dan mentioned yesterday, we need to seek His wisdom on how He can be glorified in our circumstances. That is all I want. The desire of my heart is for Him to be glorified through C just as much as I want Him to be glorified through MS. The more I allow Him to shine through me, the more He will be glorified! Woo hoo! Jesus was glorified through being faithful to His Father. As I become more like Him, My Heavenly Father will also be glorified. I like what a friend of Dan's said, "Lord, purify me until all you see is Your reflection." Yes! Oh how I desire for this to happen in my life. I know the more I reflect Him on the road of suffering, the more He will be glorified!

Dear Jesus,
Thank You once again for another good pathology report. Lord, You continue to give me opportunities to be a witness with my testimony and I thank You for that. Father, peace is needed in so many lives. But I know that peace is not attainable without purification. I pray for those who do not know You to come into relationship with You. I also pray for those who know You but are not living in Your supernatural empowerment to grasp that. I pray for more "power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!" to be realized in my own life. Lord, You brought us here to Beaufort to be Your servants. You took us away from family and a comfortable life to find Your will for us. May it be so. May we gain a greater depth of You in these days. I pray for Debbie Bohi, Beth Ann Jones and Judy Jellison as they are on their own road of suffering. My road of suffering in my physical body over these last few months has been hard but I know You are with me every step of the way.
I pray for more people to come into a relationship with You that is only attainable through a life of holiness so their road of suffering will glorify You. Lord, be my words, my actions and my attitude throughout these days. I pray not only for people to see You in me but most importantly I pray for You to see You in me. Thank You Jesus for being My Peace. Amen.

Matthew 22:38-40 - "Let There Be Peace On Earth"

Yesterday was a sad day for this world. There is just so much hatred being shown in some drastic measures. The Ohio State campus event and the fires being set in Israel were heavy in my prayers as the day went on. On top of those events the fires in the Gatlinburg area also are causing grief to so many. I think of the people in WV who are still struggling after this summer's flooding and pray for people to come to their aid even after all of these months. There are people with medical conditions that are in need of God's peace such as little Ritchie and his family who will get bone marrow results today. Peace is needed by so many. I was reminded that even when we may not have peace in our lives we can still have peace in our spirits when we allow God to be in control. We must give Him these things in prayer and trust in Him to handle them. We must pray for souls of those who are showing hate in their spirits. There are even believers that speak hate about others. They need to realize God has called us to live a life of love. As I always told my boys when they were growing up, "You don't have to like everyone but you do have to love them." Jesus told us the second greatest commandment is to love one another (Matthew 22). In order to fulfill the second commandment we first must fulfill the first commandment to love God. A heart of hate is not a heart of love. Hate cannot flow from the same heart that is full of God's love. The only way to completely love the Lord God is to live in His presence. There is not room in His presence for hate. I know there are many believers who would disagree with me on this but fact is fact. There is no gray area when it comes to God's love flowing from us. It hurts me to hear hateful words come out of people but it really hurts when it is someone who professes to be a Christian. We can't change everyone but we can make a difference as we live out love to everyone. We can't be discouraged when people continue to not live as Christ desires. We must continue to pray for them and continue to love on them. I think of something I read yesterday from Ann Voskamp...

Even if today didn't go as planned, Lord
and if it's not at all what we hoped, 
and if we're not yet quite what we hoped, 
and if life's not unfolding to our Plan A
and if it's not even close to Plan B
and if the diagnosis is not great
and if the forecast is not good
and if not... and if not... and if not...
*You still are.* You still are Good & You still are God.
And we will be the people who will still...
The people who will still rest in it & sing it into the dark:
"and if not -- He is still Good. He is still God... so we can still & be & be at rest."

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the genetic testing coming out good. I praise Your Holy Name for the way You are walking with me through C. I praise Your Holy Name for the way You will give us discernment as we go to the appointment Thursday. Father, I pray You will also be with Little Ritchie's family as they await test results today. Lord, give the doctors wisdom and the family strength for whatever lies ahead. I also pray for those who were injured in the attack at Ohio State yesterday. Not only those wounded physically but those who are dealing with the aftermath of the ordeal. I pray protection over people in Israel as they deal with the attacks. I also pray for those who are dealing with fires and flooding in nature. Lord, be so very real to them! No matter what I pray everyone will realize two things. One is we need to love You in order to love others as You have commanded. The second is no matter what the outcome of our circumstance You are still good. Thank You Father for being My Peace. Amen.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "Hope Was Born This Night"

November 28 brings me joy as I remember when Paul made me a Momma for the first time. When people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was "a Mommy." My dream was filled on this day thirty-six years ago. I was so excited for him to be born but then when my water broke I thought "can I really do this?!?!" Thankfully the Lord gave me what I needed those first few weeks as we bonded together. He was the best baby with sleeping (through the night at 2 weeks on), eating (on his every four hour schedule) and being content with wherever he was. At six months he went with me in his stroller to a Women's Retreat without any issues at all. He loved being with his Grandpa McHenry from an early age. I believe that has a lot to do with him having so many of Grandpa's traits. He can be a joker, he provides well for his family, he is a great listener, it takes a lot to get him rouled up but when he does you know it and most of all he is a man of faith. I pray Paul's faith will grow as deep as my Daddy's faith did in life. Thankfully Paul has not had the physical issues of his Grandpa but I know whatever comes his way God is with Him. I love to watch him interact with Lizzy. He tries his best to make their home a place where love flows freely. Miss Bella is loved greatly by her Daddy which is a blessing a lot of children do not have. Sometimes Paul's OCD habits kick in and it can drive one crazy. Unfortunately, I believe I probably am to blame for some of those but certainly I never went to the degree he does! Yesterday in church we kicked off our "When Love Was Born" series. The words in the song "Hope Was Born This Night" came to me this morning as I reflected back on this day thirty-six years ago. 

Glory to God in the highest

Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men

Let all of the world sing the chorus of joy

Because hope was born this night

On the day Paul was born not only were my dreams fulfilled to be a Mommy but his birth gave me hope in my future. His birth reminded me of the words in Jeremiah 29:11...

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the gift of making me a Mommy. Thank You for Paul who is so special to me. Oh how I miss his hugs but I know the purpose of being a Mommy is to raise your children to grow up and be parents themselves. I pray blessings over him, Lizzy and Miss Bella. I pray for an abundance of You to fill their lives. I pray just as when he was growing up and he never left the house without a hug and "I love you" he will do the same as a husband and daddy. Lord, I also pray for my day ahead with the genetic testing results. I pray whatever is ahead You will go before me and give me strength. Lord, fill me to overflowing so people will see and hear You through me. My mind is overwhelmed with all of the paperwork and phone calls to doctors, insurance company, etc. Please do not allow these things to take my focus off of You today. Thank You for being The One To Bless Me. Amen.

I Timothy 1:12-17 - "Great Are You Lord"

Death of a loved one is never easy yet when one knows their loved one will spend eternity with the Lord it is a comfort. The Lord woke me at 3:30 AM to pray for dear friends who lost their wife, mother, grandmother yesterday. He also had me pray for my Momma who lost a dear friend. I have fond memories growing up with this family. I was telling Doc last night about how they were with my parents in PTO when we were in grade school along with going to church together. I prayed for this family to lean on the Lord's strength through these tough days. That prayer took me to praying for others who have lost a loved one since last year's holiday season. The 'firsts' are so hard as the memories play over in your mind. But those memories are what also enable us to continue on. I prayed for my aunt and cousins who are getting together to go through my uncle's things. I prayed for them to have happy memories as they go through this task. I prayed for my friends who recently lost their wife, mother, grandmother and how they just went through the Thanksgiving holiday for the first time without her. I also prayed for those who are not in relationship with God. I prayed someone would say or do something that would make a difference in their life so they would come to know Him. I prayed for those who know Him but really aren't living for Him. I prayed they would realize the importance of daily communion with Him. I prayed for those who are contemplating going to church today. I prayed something would make them realize the importance of being with a corporate body of believers. I prayed for pastors who are going into the pulpit to give what the Lord has laid on their hearts this week. I prayed against the enemy tempting them into saying things that will just make people feel good and instead for God to give boldness to them. We never know when our last day will be on this earth. Each and everyone of us need to live for the Lord in the way He desires. We need to live in His presence so we can hear His voice. If we don't, we may not live for Him for eternity. That is a sad thought. 

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the day You gave Doc and I yesterday. Thank You for waking me during the night to pray for so many. Father, I pray for the day ahead of us. I pray for physical strength in my body. I pray against the pain/discomfort I am experiencing. Lord, give me wisdom on not doing too much that in turn causes the pain to worsen. I pray for a spiritual strength to overcome me. Fill me to overflowing with You so people will see and hear You through my actions, words and attitude. Take away the distraction of C so I will be focused on You. Lord, I pray You will bless Lizzy with a great day today for her birthday. I also pray You will continue to lead her down the path of living for You. I pray she will go deeper in her relationship with You. Thank You for her being Paul's wife and Miss Bella's Mommy. Thank You Jesus for being The One I Praise. Amen.

Hebrews 11:1-2; "Good, Good Father"

"You're a good, good Father...that's who You are, who You are...and I'm loved by You...that's who I am..." This song was going through my mind when I woke up this morning. I needed the reminder that He knows what I need before I even voice it. Last night as I opened up to Doc on how I was feeling I began to cry. He told me he didn't know exactly why C came into my life but he did know through the MS, back and cervical surgeries, his surgeries and diabetes the Lord used them all to take our faith deeper. In this song it says, "As you call me deeper still...Into love, love, love..." The depth of my love for the Lord and for others is pretty deep but it can always go deeper. My faith in Him has continued to deepen through 2016 with the move, change in ministry, change in finances and now C. This morning He told me to read Hebrews 11 again. This chapter is known as the 'faith chapter' and is full of stories of the faith of great people from long ago. In the beginning couple of verses it reads, "...the elders obtained a good report." John Wesley calls that report a testimony. He said, "God gave a testimony, not only of them but to them: and they received his testimony as if it had been the things themselves of which he testified." In other words, they passed on the testimony to others. That made me think about the nurse at the surgeon's office who told me from the very beginning that no matter what happened from the biopsy and then later the surgery, God was giving me a testimony to share. Wow! But then when I think about falling apart in tears last night I think, 'How can that show a testimony of faith if I fall apart?' I am human and God created me with emotion. Tears do not mean my faith is lessened. In fact, tears can be a step in a deeper walk of faith. Someone needs to hear my testimony. Someone will go deeper in their faith from hearing it. I have faith that God will use C to His glory. Do I like having C? Yes, if He is glorified through it. Do I like waiting on the further pathology results? Yes, if He is glorified through this waiting time. Will I like the results of the genetic testing? Yes, if He is glorified through them. Bottom line is that my faith must be the foundation to my testimony which He will be glorified through.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for yesterday with the phone conversation with Miss Bella. Thank You for the opportunity to hold little Miss Everly for the first time. Thank You for whatever is ahead in this day. I pray for opportunities to share You with others. Fill me to overflowing so people will see and hear You through my words, my actions and most importantly my attitude. I pray for tomorrow where we will gather as a corporate body of believers to worship You. Father, take my faith deeper in whatever ways are needed. That is a pretty strong prayer but I know You will give me the strength to do whatever You put before me. Woo hoo! Thank You Jesus for being My Faith Builder! Amen.

Psalm 56:8-13 - "Mended"

Holidays can be wonderful but they can also be horrible. One can be surrounded by people yet feel alone. Emotions can be at a very high or a very low. Memories from childhood can either make one appreciate where they are in life today or they can make one sad for what use to be. People can disappoint by not including you in their plans, by not communicating with you or even sometimes by communicating with hurtful words and/or actions. As I talked with one last night who was contemplating suicide I was reminded just how hard the holidays can be on a person. I listened and tried to encourage but I don't know if they felt any better after the conversation or not. I pray they did. I pray they will seek out help from the Christian world. When they tried to get help from the medical world, they were turned away. My heart goes out to them and to all of those who are in the same place they are. I pray for people who are lonely to not wait on someone to come to them but instead for them to reach out to others. I pray for those who have no family to find a church who will love on them. I pray for those who have family but are not accepted by them to find ways to love on them and forgive them. Most of all I pray for those who are not in personal relationship with the Lord to find Him. As I look back on my day yesterday there were disappointments yet I was reminded that in each and every one of those disappointments God was there for me. He is my Hope in a world that is not always nice. I also was reminded that God gives everyone the freedom to make their own choices. Sometimes those choices are effected by others or circumstances. No matter what, He always encourages me. I pray the same for this one last night who was so saddened by her family. I pray she will listen to Matthew West's song "Mended" and realize God does not hold her past against her but instead desires for her to allow Him to love on her.

So hold on, it's not the end
No, this is where love's work begins
I'm making all things new
And I will make a miracle of you

When someone falls in their relationship with the Lord or maybe they never had a relationship with Him, people are quick to see their old self instead of a new creation in Christ. The past haunts them greatly but it doesn't have to when they allow the Lord to work in and through them. The past is just that. The past. People like to throw up the past when one is trying to live differently and that can be hard. But it is not unbearable. One must make the choice to draw closer to the Lord instead of allowing others to tear them down. This song says it all...

I see my child, my beloved
The new creation you're becoming
You see the scars from when you fell
But I see the stories they will tell

You see worthless, I see priceless
You see pain, but I see a purpose
You see unworthy, undeserving
But I see you through eyes of mercy

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
You're not too far gone
You're one step away from home

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy and grace. Thank You for second chances. Father, I pray this one I talked with last night made the decision to live. I also pray she will find a believer who can enable her to find peace with You. Lord, thank You for the way You continue to use me even when I may not physically be able to do what I desire to be doing. Thank You for the boldness You give me such as praying with the surgeon before surgery. Lord, You are so good to encourage me. Yesterday was a tough day with being away from family but You blessed me with new 'firsts' that made the day be a blessing. Thank You for being My Hope. Amen.

Psalm 27:1 - "God of Angel Armies"

Today is Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for...

• my relationship with my Heavenly Father
• my husband who seeks to live in His will
• my Momma having a place to eat Thanksgiving dinner with family
• my boys and their families who I miss greatly
• my ninety-three year old neighbor/friend who is a prayer warrior for me
• the ministry God has given me with military families
• my dear neighbors/friends who love on me
• my cancer only being stage 1
• my Beaufort church family who love on us so greatly
• my Willard church family who continue to pray for us
• my four-legged buddy who continues to brighten my days
• our own home
• my MS being 'under control'
• being able to type this morning without too much pain
• living in a place with top-notch breast cancer doctors and technology
• having friends who listen so well to the Lord when I need encouraged

If anyone would have asked me last year if I would not be living in Ohio this year, I would have probably laughed. But I am grateful for the Lord's leading in our lives even though there are hurts along the way. I am grateful for the way He soothes the hurts when they come. I am also grateful for the way He reminds me that He is in control. Monday morning as we were preparing to go to the hospital for another surgery I started singing "The God of Angel Armies" and Doc said that was the song he had going around in my mind. Wow, God! He is so good!

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

Yes! He is always with us. He never leaves us. Those are some comforting words. When the loneliness comes, He is there. When another door shuts and disappointment comes, He is there. When there seems to be no end in sight with bills, He is there. He did not bring us to this place for us to fail. He brought us here to stretch our faith so our trust will go deeper. He brought us here to show us what He can do through us. I have no doubt on that. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for all of the ways You bless me. Thank You for always being with me. Thank You for the birth of Miss Everly this week. Thank You for continuing to guide my steps and my words. Father, as You already know, my attitude needs some working on. Would You enable me to not allow circumstances to make me crabby? Would You give me Your words to stand up against the words of the enemy? You encouraged me greatly yesterday when Amy checked on me just at the moment before the dressing was changed and then again last night when Kim checked on me right at the time the enemy was trying to play havoc in my life. Thank You for using people to show Your love to me. Father, I also ask for a healing in my emotional being today as it hurts to be here instead of with my family. Encourage my heart. Take away the disappointment that will give open doors to the enemy. Fill me with more of You so people will see/hear You through me. Thank You Jesus for being the One Who Blesses Me. Amen.

Matthew 6:10; Hebrews 10:25 - "Thy Will"

The Lord woke me up early this morning to pray for pastors and others who are teetering on whether to go to church or not. He also had me pray for shut-ins who are unable to go to church. Hebrews 10:25 encourages people to "not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing". People who go to church need each other in a lot of different ways. Many people in church are lonely and they need to feel loved. Some people in church are hurting so greatly and need to find peace. That peace can come through a personal relationship with the Lord which includes going to church. "Church" does not have to mean Sunday morning but rather can be anytime. It does not have to mean meeting in a traditional church building but can occur any place. As I prayed for pastors this morning, I prayed for those who will be wrestling with the idea the sermon God gave them may not be what He intends for them to say. I also prayed for those who will be disappointed in how few people will be in their congregation today. I prayed for them to realize each one is there for a reason and they need to keep their eyes open to opportunities to be Jesus to all. I prayed for the pastor who is ill this morning and deciding if they should go or not. I prayed for the pastor who is walking into the pulpit with blatant sin in their life. As I prayed for pastors, the Holy Spirit nudged me about my prayers. Sometimes I pray specifically, which I believe is good. But sometimes I pray for specific answers and that is not necessary. All I have to pray is Matthew 6:10...His will. Plain and simple...His will. It is not always easy to pray but when we do, it gives us peace in knowing He is in control. He knows what is best.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the beautiful day yesterday and for the time I was able to bask not only in the sunshine but in the Sonshine! Father, there are so many things going on in my little world but I do not have to list them because You already know them. You also know the desire of my heart is Your will. Enable me to draw closer to You and to be filled with You as Your will unfolds in my life. I pray people will see and hear You through me today. I pray for no distractions to take my focus off of You. Thank You for being My Will. Amen.

James 1:2-4 - "Blessings"

When I woke up at 3:30 I didn't ask the Lord who I was to pray for but instead starting thinking of the week ahead. If someone would have asked me a year ago my plans for Thanksgiving, I probably would have responded with plans to go to Paul and Lizzy's as we have for the last couple of years. If someone would have asked me a month ago my plans for Thanksgiving, I probably would have responded we were going to Ohio. Now instead I will be recuperating from the lymph node biopsy and we will have our 'first' Thanksgiving in our new home. I started to cry as I thought about it but then the Lord clearly told me, "I didn't wake you to wallow, I woke you to pray." Ouch! After apologizing for my selfishness I asked who He wanted me to pray for and He replied, "Betty's precious family." Alrighty then! I got onto the task of praying for them, naming those I know one by one. My heart breaks for them in the sadness they will feel today. I also hope they can get to the point in their spirit of being peaceful in knowing she is with her Heavenly Father for eternity. I prayed for them to desire the same. 

When I woke up this morning, it was no surprise to receive a message from a dear friend who is going through some tough stuff in her family. At the end of her prayer update she wrote, "There is more going on in my life and many things to be thankful for right now. Things could have easily gone wrong in so many ways on so many fronts - not just with my daughter and the baby. I'm VERY VERY THANKFUL!" What a great reminder that the Lord knew I needed. I need to count my blessings instead of dwelling on the 'use to be' or 'what if's' of life. Nothing is a surprise to God. He knew about this C before now. I truly believe that is why we are in Beaufort where the technology is so great. He knew we wouldn't be going to Ohio for Thanksgiving. I'm thinking He wanted us to have a 'first' here. I don't know why but I do know I need to allow Him to enable me to make new memories. He also knows the outcome of the lymph node biopsy and the genetic testing. For that I am grateful. He knows the desire of my heart to have no chemo or radiation. The doctors have said at this time chemo is not in my future but radiation will be for six weeks if the lymph nodes and genetic testing come back negative. If the genetic testing comes back that I am BRCA gene mutation then they suggest I have a double mastectomy. Oh my goodness, it just hit me. If radiation is not a part of the treatment plan after a double mastectomy, then as I pray for no radiation I am basically praying for a double mastectomy. I think I may need to change the desires of my heart to be a cancer free in whatever way the Lord chooses. My way would be to have these next two tests negative and do the six weeks radiation. As I write these words, I am once again reminded the Lord's way is best. He is with me no matter what lies ahead. His strength is my strength. I also am reminded of James 1:2-3 that He gave me this week to give a friend going through a situation where she felt out-of-control. Yep, we do not need to be in control but instead need to allow Him all control.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the day ahead. Thank You for the words of encouragement You continue to give me through reading Your word and others. Father, may Your spirit of peace come down upon Betty's family today as they go through the funeral. Oh how I wish I were there with them but that was not Your plan. Lord, I have had a lot of different thoughts going through my head this morning but most of all I am blessed in knowing You are in control of all of my life. As I go throughout this day please fill me to overflowing so I can be a blessing to others. Keep my focus on You so I am not distracted by anything. Thank You Jesus for being My Blesser. Amen.

Psalm 29:2 - "Offering"

"I bring an offering of worship to my King...no one on earth deserves the praises that I sing..." This was the song in my heart this morning. Actually, when I woke up at 2:50 I had this song. I asked the Lord if there was someone I needed to pray for and He told me the Stein Family. I thought about how the words to this song do not really go together with death unless one knows their loved one was a believer. Betty was definitely a believer. She had such a deep faith. That is what enabled her to be on this earth with cancer as long as she did. Oh how her family and friends will miss her. I will miss her. I am saddened I missed her call a few weeks ago. My heart breaks in not knowing if she just wanted to chat or needed me to pray with her. I can imagine it was a 'goodbye' call as she knew life was drawing shorter here. I love being called the 'baby sister' of the family. Her Momma and sisters took me under their wing and love on me just as if I were blood. I am grateful for the time I had with them and my heart breaks that I am not there to comfort them now. I trust God will put others who will. No matter how much we believe in God and how sure we are of our loved one's final destination it is still very difficult to deal with the loss. I still ache to have my Daddy call me even after three and a half years. Just to hear 'Sheila Babe' out of his mouth would be awesome. Sometimes I think about how he would be encouraging me through this bout with C. He would tell me 'rest but not too much...you have to keep moving.' He would also tell me to trust in the Lord and look to Him for what I need to do or not do. I love his faith. I love his personality of being a fighter. Oh how I miss him and I know the days ahead for Betty's family will be filled with tears and memories. I also know when they think about her faith they will be blessed. I pray they will desire the same life that she lived. That was what she wanted for all of them. Just as my Daddy wanted to see our family come into relationship with the Lord, so did Betty. She wanted to know her family were headed to eternity with the Lord.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy and grace. Thank You for being with my family yesterday with Uncle Ofie's funeral. Thank You for the clear results of the pet scan yesterday. Lord, You continue to walk me down this path with a deep faith. I know whatever lies ahead will glorify You. I love what Kristen said at my appointment, "This will be your testimony." Yes! For twenty-two years I have had MS as my testimony. Now I have C for my testimony. May You continue to fill me to overflowing with more of You so people will see and hear You through me. Please do not let me become distracted to the point where I miss an opportunity from You. I love You so much and am so grateful for all the ways You bless me. Thank You for being The One To Bless Me. Amen.

Matthew 6:10 - "Thy Will"

I am so thankful for the way the Lord takes care of me. I did not want to go to the Ladies Getaway last weekend with all going on but He encouraged me to go so I did. By the end of the weekend I felt stronger in my spirit. He knew I needed that strength to get through this week. Two appointments Tuesday, two appointments Wednesday, two appointments today along with the death of Uncle Ofie and then last night the death of a dear friend. I was tired when we got home from church so I took a hot bubble bath and fell into bed. An hour later I was woke up with the call about Betty. I was grateful my prayers were answered for her to no longer be suffering in her physical body but instead she now has a new body with no cancer. The pain is gone. The same with my Uncle Ofie, the COPD is gone. I know some cannot understand how one can rejoice in death but it is just like my wise ninety-three year old friend says, "They are in a better place!" Yes! We, as believers, have hope in our future. We have peace in knowing when we die from this earth we will live for eternity with our Heavenly Father. That is the hope and peace my Betty had over these last few years as she battled cancer. She was a fighter who did not give up. Many times we sat and talked about life here and life in heaven. She said over and over again that she was ready but she felt like the Lord was keeping her here on earth to enable her family to come to know Him. Her heart broke for those who had slipped out of relationship with Him yet she felt like she was going to be the key to restoration. Oh how I pray that happened! I pray her family saw her great faith and desired the same. I pray there was restoration in not only their relationship with the Lord but in relationships on this earth. I loved sitting and praying with her. I love how her family make me feel like I am 'one of the sisters'! I pray they will know I am with them in spirit even when I can't be there physically. I pray for strength in their spirits as they go through these tough days ahead. The void will be great without her there for her husband, her children, her grandchildren, her Momma, her siblings and her friends. I pray they will draw closer to God so He can love on them greatly. We never know what the Lord will ask of us but the one thing we must remember is to say 'yes' no matter what. Betty took on the cancer in a way that many did not agree with but she was comfortable with. She prayed and allowed the Lord to direct her. We may never be able to understand why people do things in the manner they do but when I know the Lord is very much a part of their life it makes it easier to accept. 

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the strength You will give me to go through this day. Father, today may be the day for pet scan results. You already know those results. You know the desire of my heart is to hear 'no cancer was found' but most importantly I pray 'thy will be done'! Father, I pray for an abundance of Your love to be with my family with the funeral of my Uncle Ofie. I pray You will give my Momma strength not only in her physical body but in her emotional body. I also pray for Betty's family to know You are there for them. I pray they will be comforted today by people in a mighty way. Lord, would You also give me a dose of Your supernatural strength as I have these appointments? Would You calm my tears that seem to be back to flowing so easily? Would You empower me with more of You so I do not get distracted and miss an opportunity You put before me? Oh Father, how I love You and am so grateful where I am in relationship with You. Thank You Jesus for being My Strength. Amen.

Psalm 139:3 - "Christ Be All Around Me"

Another day, another test, another doctor appointment but I must remind myself it is another day of life. It is a day where the Lord will put opportunities before me and I must not allow the distractions of all that is happening to allow me to miss those opportunities. It is a day of deep hurting in friends and families who are grieving and I must support them even though I cannot be with them. It is a day of hope as I await more test results. Today is just that, today. I cannot change the things of yesterday. I also cannot know what the Lord has in store for tomorrow. Today is an important day because the Lord gave it to me to be His servant. One of the things He has given me to do is pray for people and that I will do. Today I pray for...

• my family traveling to West Virginia for my uncle's funeral....
• my uncle's wife, children and grandchildren as they go through these tough days...
• my friends in Ohio who are dealing with the last days of their loved one being on this earth...
• my friend and her husband who are dealing with a major change in their lives as they continue on the path of ministry...
• the lady I found out yesterday was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer...
• the lady who is having breast surgery Friday...
• the couple who had their first-born yesterday...
• the couple in their new ministry assignment...
• my friend who had surgery yesterday...
• the couple dealing with major health issues in the spouse...
• the wife who continues to pray for restoration in her marriage
• the wife who continues to pray for her husband's spiritual needs
• the young Momma who went through tragedy in her life and is rebuilding her family
• myself as I lean upon the Lord's strength to get through my first Thanksgiving away from family

The words to "Christ Be All Around Me" encourage me this morning...

As I rise, strength of God
Go before, lift me up
As I wake, eyes of God
Look upon, be my sight

I know He is with me. I know His strength is my strength. He went through so much while on this earth yet He continued to live out what His Father gave Him to do. I desire to be Christ-like. I desire to live out each and every aspect of life that He wants of me. I desire to take on His strength. I desire to love with His love. I know the way to fulfill these desires is to live in His presence each and every day. 

Above and below me
Before and behind me
In every eye that sees me
Christ be all around me

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being "all around me" as I go throughout this day. Thank You for listening and answering my prayers. Father, I want so bad to be with my family for Uncle Ofie's funeral. My heart breaks. I can't say I understand all that is happening but I can say I am blessed in knowing You are with me. Lord, as I go to this test this morning I know You are with me. I know You already know the results and am grateful for that. Continue to direct the doctors who are caring for me. Give them Your knowledge. Father, I am tired yet hopeful. I am feeling overwhelmed and I pray You will not allow the enemy into an open door into my life because of that. Thank you for being My Strength. Amen.