II Timothy 1:7; Psalm 91 - "Thy Will"

The words to Psalm 91 come to my mind this morning. It reads in The Passion Translation... 

When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai,
you are hidden in the strength of God Most High.
2 He’s the hope that holds me and the Stronghold to shelter me,
the only God for me, and my great confidence.
3 He will rescue you from every hidden trap of the enemy,
and he will protect you from false accusation
and any deadly curse.
4 His massive arms[f] are wrapped around you, protecting you.
You can run under his covering of majesty and hide.
His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm.
5 You will never worry about an attack of demonic forces at night
nor have to fear a spirit of darkness coming against you.
6 Don’t fear a thing!
Whether by night or by day, demonic danger will not trouble you,[g]
nor will the powers of evil launched against you.
7 Even in a time of disaster, with thousands and thousands being killed,
you will remain unscathed and unharmed.
8 you will be a spectator as the wicked perish in judgment,
for they will be paid back for what they have done!
9–10 When we live our lives within the shadow of God Most High,
our secret hiding place, we will always be shielded from harm.
How then could evil prevail against us or disease infect us?
11 God sends angels with special orders to protect you wherever you go,
defending you from all harm.
12 If you walk into a trap, they’ll be there for you
and keep you from stumbling.
13 You’ll even walk unharmed among the fiercest powers of darkness,
trampling every one of them beneath your feet!
14 For here is what the Lord has spoken to me:
“Because you have delighted in me as my great lover,
I will greatly protect you.
I will set you in a high place, safe and secure before my face.
15 I will answer your cry for help every time you pray,
and you will find and feel my presence
even in your time of pressure and trouble.
I will be your glorious hero and give you a feast.
16 You will be satisfied with a full life and with all that I do for you.
For you will enjoy the fullness of my salvation!”

This Scripture is one of encouragement in these 'tough' days. In days of living with words like 'chemo'...'cancer'...'scans' these words tell me I can't give into the fear the enemy is placing upon me. I cannot quit trusting God. I cannot push deeper into my faith. I cannot give up praying for a miracle on this earth in Doc's body. I am being more intentional to saying "the cancer in Doc's pancreas" instead of claiming it when I say "Doc's cancer." It is not 'his' cancer. It does not belong in his body. It is not of God. He did not make cancer, He makes life. In the wee hours of this morning as I prayed, I prayed for "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." There is no cancer in heaven. Therefore, I am praying for no cancer on this earth. Today as we go into the infusion center for chemo I will see a lot of people having treatment. I have always prayed for them but today my prayers will be different. I will pray they are in relationship with Him and His will to be done in their lives. I will pray for God to give me opportunity to love on them with His love. I also will pray against the after effects of their treatment. I can relate to Hillary Scott's song Thy Will Be Done when she sings I'm so confused about the situation she was in with her miscarriage when she wrote the song. That is where I find myself. I've always been taught confusion is not from God but from the devil. I'm struggling with that. I put on God's armor every day to fight off the enemy. I strive to live in God's presence and be the person He has called me to be. I know living for God does not mean life will be a bed of roses and I also know living in God's presence will empower me to not just get through these 'tough' days but to thrive through them. Psalm 91:15 reminds me He is always here for me no matter what is happening. But it also says He will answer my prayers and my prayers for Doc to be healed on this earth are not happening. I think about the nine month time in 2015-2016 with an MS attack. Nine long months we prayed. We did not give up. We have not hit the six month mark yet with this cancer so we cannot give up praying. This latest part of this roller coaster ride is not fun. Having a scan a month early because of 'nasty' numbers is scary. But He is still with us. He is still accepting our prayers and we need to allow Him to work in and through us through this situation. Some people would say our prayers aren't working but that cannot stop us from praying. It cannot stop us from believing in a miracle. My thoughts go back to what Christy said Monday about focusing on God and believing He still performs miracles. I know He does and I continue to pray He will in Doc's situation. I know it's selfish but I am not ready for him to leave this earth. He is God's servant who has so much more to do on this earth. 

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the reminders from Psalm 91! Thank You for all the ways You encourage me! Thank You for Doc having the energy to teach the teens last night and for Joshua driving the church van for us! Thank You for Sheri coming to help with the evening! Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead in this day! Thank You for never leaving us! Thank You for putting people before us who encourage us! Lord, these next few days are going to be tough in our human flesh as we await the scan and then wait for the results. I pray You will empower us to stay focused on You. I ask for an abundance of Your strength, especially in my emotional body as the tears just don't want to stop. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me with more of You so I can stand upon II Timothy 1:7 more intentionally than ever before. Do not allow this situation to take my eyes off of the opportunities You put before me every day to love with Your love. Lord, I pray for others who are dealing with cancer in their bodies or in their loved ones bodies. Steve; Mark; Richie; Natalie; Maxine; my two pastor friends; Dale; Kandi; Elizabeth's neighbor; Rebecca's neighbor; Mike; Sharon's mother; and so many others. May Your love be so real to all. Thank You for being My Strength! Amen.