II Timothy 1:7; Phil 4:13; Psalm 4 - "Home"

Sometimes situations in this world can get me down. People's decisions bring tears to my eyes. As I was praying, God brought to me that I am not responsible for anyone but myself. I cannot allow conversations to take my focus off of Him. He wants me to realize I cannot change people, only He can. He uses me as a tool in the process in some people's lives but not in everyone's life. I am heavily burdened for some who do not believe as I do but I cannot allow them to pull my focus off of God. He has me on this earth to be an intercessor prayer warrior and that is what I will be. This morning He took me to Psalm 4. I read it in different translations and settled in on The Passion Translation. This Psalm David wrote is entitled An Eventing Prayer for Help. The "Pure and Shining One" he wrote it to is our Chief Musician (Hebrews 2:12) who shines through His holiness. I love the way David pauses throughout the Scripture. That is exactly how we hear from the Lord. We pause. We stop to wait on His Voice. As we do, we draw nearer to Him and our faith goes deeper. After the first pause in verse two it reads:

3 May we never forget that the Lord works wonders
for every one of his devoted lovers.
And this is how I know that he will answer my every prayer.
4 Tremble in awe before the Lord, and do not sin against him.
Be still upon your bed and search your heart before him. 
Pause in his presence

I love the word picture David gives that we are to Be still...search our heart. One cannot truly do as the Lord desires if they never take the time to do this. When I think about how crazy life can get, I wonder how it is even possible to do it. But it is possible when you put Christ first. He shows what we are to do, when we are to do it WHEN we allow Him. I remember days in the past where I was working multiple jobs, the boys were in school with activities, Doc was going to school for ministry, I was doing various ministry in the church, etc. Life was crazy and I did not give God back anywhere near what I should have. I thought 'doing' for Him was enough but it wasn't. The only way He got my attention was to stop me in my tracks. There are many who would argue this point but I believe He put MS in my life to save me from spiritual destruction. Many say God doesn't make bad things happen but He will allow them. I believe He was ultimately the One to make MS be in my body. It was not because He was punishing me but rather because He loves me so greatly. MS taught me so much about how to go deeper with Him. Fast forward to twenty-one years later and He put a nine month stretch of MS issues in my life. Why? Because He loves me. During that nine months I went deeper in my relationship with Him. I dug into Scripture like never before. The result was healing. It was not only a physical healing when I walked into the church with a walker and danced out without assistance. It was a spiritual healing. Woo hoo! It is only through His love that I can fully realize what verse eight in The Passion Translation means. It reads:

Now, because of you, Lord, I will lie down in peace and sleep comes at once,
for no matter what happens, I will live unafraid!

Right before Doc was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the Lord gave me II Timothy 1:7 to hold in my heart. At the time, I thought it was because of a situation I was in driving but within a short time the diagnosis came. Fear came along with it. I do not want my husband to die. I know it's selfish of me but that is the way I feel. God blesses us as He uses us together as a team. He loves us so greatly and I continue to pray for a miraculous healing for Doc. I pray that does not come through him going to heaven but if it does I will not fear. God also gave me Philippians 4:13 back at the beginning of my MS diagnosis. I thought it was all about physical strength but I soon realize it was about my physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all my spiritual strength. The only way He can be that is for me to be in full relationship with Him. The only way that can be is for me to sold-out to Him and live in His presence 24/7. I love the question found in verses six and seven in The Message:

Why is everyone hungry for more? “More, more,” they say.
“More, more.”
I have God’s more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day

Woo hoo! Yes! He gives me exactly what I need, when I need it. His joy completes me. His love surrounds me. I am grateful for His love, mercy, and grace that allows me to live every day for Him. I know as I live as He desires on this earth I also will live with Him for eternity. Woo hoo!
cDear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy, and grace You give me each and every day! Thank You for reminding me that I cannot 'fix' everyone! Thank You for the rest You provided last night! Thank You for the shoeboxes being finished last night! Thank You for my neighbor Carrie who encourages me! Thank You for Doc getting to feeling better yesterday! Oh how I pray against the effects that normally come on day two after chemo. Lord, there are so many with physical needs on my prayer list. I pray for each of them to feel Your supernatural strength today. I especially pray for Heidi's cousin Sharon as she goes through intense testing to see if the cancer has returned. Father, I pray for believers who are being torn away from focusing on You due to circumstances beyond their control. I also pray for all believers to get to the end of themselves so You can be their More-Than-Enough. Lord, my heart breaks to hear/read the nastiness out of some believers mouths when I know that is not who You have called us to be. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me with more of You. I pray You will be in my words, actions, and attitude throughout this day in a new, different way. May Your love ooze out of me to the point where people see it so greatly. I will forever be grateful for Brother Dan who walked in obedience that night in February 2016 so I could realize what You had in store for me. Thank You Jesus for being My More-Than-Enough! Amen.