I was reading in one of my grief books yesterday about how it is 'ok' to talk to those who have passed on. I had to chuckle when I read this. I am constantly talking to them. I walk through the house and see a picture and talk to them. I drive down the road and see something that brings up a memory and I talk to them. Even though our loved one is no longer with us we still have a relationship with them. I think talking to those who are no longer with us is easy because I carry on conversations with God all the time even though I cannot see Him. The difference is He speaks back to me. I love to hear Him say, 'Daughter...' Grief is perhaps one of the hardest things to work through on this earth. There are different stages and different emotions that come along with different deaths. I am so thankful to know my Daddy, Doc, and my Rickey are in heaven. I am thankful for the way my heavenly Daddy continues to bring memories to me of each of them to get me through 'tough' days. I also am thankful for the support system I have with my 'tribe' who love on me greatly. I woke up this morning from a dream the Lord blessed me with that touched my heart. In the dream I had time to sit over a meal with my brother Gene and his wife Bobbi. What a treasure! God heals our hearts in so many ways. Woo hoo! Grief is hard but God is greater! Praise His Holy Name! He gives us thoughts, memories, dreams, etc. to encourage us when we are feeling down. He speaks words of life over us when we feel like we cannot go on. He fills our empty emotional tanks up with hugs, phone calls, texts, etc. from people who show us His love. I know what God desires of me. He desires to shine brightly through me. He desires me to be joyful even through the 'tough' days of grief. He desires me to lean into His strength and His joy. Some days are definitely easier than others but no matter what He is with me. Woo hoo! This morning God took me to Psalm 87. The very last verse spoke volumes to me as I read it in different versions.
And the princes of God’s feasts will sing and dance, singing, “Every fountain of delight springs up from your life within me!” TPT
Those who sing and those who dance will say together, “All my fountains of joy are in You.” VOICE
As they make music they will sing, “All my fountains are in you.” NIV
God wants me to have His joy and to allow it to come out of me. He desires for people to see His joy in my life. I am joyful in the knowledge my loved ones are in heaven with Him. I am joyful in the ways He loves on me through these days of grief. I am joyful to bask in the memories He gave me. I am joyful to love with His love. I just have to allow Him to love me through all of the 'hard' times when the ugly tears fall. I have to allow him to love me through the times of loneliness. Yesterday the tears fell when I found the memory of a song my Rickey sent me after one of our many conversations about Doc. I am so thankful for those conversations and for the way he listened. When he gave me this song to listen to, it was part of the grieving process I was going through over Doc's death. Now I see God continues to use it in my grief over losing my Rickey.
Dear Jesus, Thank You for staying so close to me yesterday with it being one month since Rickey left this earth! Thank You for continuing to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we are on this grief journey! I pray for others who are dealing with loss to experience Your joy. I pray for those who are going through 'tough' days physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and most of spiritually to experience Your joy. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Little Jensen who needs a heart; Sharon Sebolt and her Momma Shirley; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c' and/or going through treatments...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousins; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. My heart breaks with so many dealing with COVID in themselves and/or family members. I pray for recuperation for Coley's mother, Kaye, Wanda, FaDana, and Sue Danhoff. I pray for Sherry Patterson's mother who is having surgery today and for my dear friend Joyce as today is the second anniversary of her husband's death. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May I shine brightly for You whether I leave the house or not. I pray people will see/hear You through me. Thank You for being My Joy! Amen.
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