Philippians 4:13 - "Anybody Out There"

“Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there”

Where did that song come from?!?!?! A blast from the past with Burlap To Cashmere. Yesterday when I was told I was going to be doing IV treatments again I kind of fell apart. Not on the outside but on the inside. I started thinking “Lord, why? What am I doing wrong? Don’t you love me anymore?” Oh my! His response back was awesome! “Daughter, you know I love you. I need You to do this for me.” Alrighty then…for how long do I have to endure not being ‘normal’? This time there was dead silence from Him. I got to thinking about it. I guess He knew I didn’t want to hear His answer or I wasn’t ready for it. The emotional roller coaster of these last eight months has been tough. I don’t like roller coasters at theme parks bout as much as I don’t like this roller coaster. I am tired. There are days where I begin to wonder if the Lord cares for me…if there is anyone in my little world who loves me enough to stick by me… The answer to both of these questions is YES and I know it. I realized yesterday I cannot and will not allow the enemy any foothold into my thoughts. When I do, he has an opening into my entire life. I refuse to allow that. I refuse. Plain and simple. 

This is a new day. Some things have not changed…the pain in my legs is still there, the tingling in my face is driving me crazy, my emotions are all over the place. BUT one thing that has changed is my attitude. I can do this…with the Lord’s strength…I can do this. The days ahead will be covered by His love in such a way that I know I will not only get through them but most importantly He will be glorified through them. Maybe one of the nurses I will have needs to see Jesus. Maybe someone I meet in the hospital lobby needs to see a smile of encouragement. I don’t know what the purpose is but the desire of my heart is for the Lord to be glorified through this situation. He is greater than MS…He is greater than pain…He is greater than tingling…He is greater than anything life throws my way. Woo hoo!

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for not giving up on me! Thank You for encouraging me! Thank You for ‘smacking me up the side of the head’ before the enemy gained any foothold. Father, I need Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual strength in a mighty way. I pray for more of You in me. I pray whoever needs to see You today will do so in me. Father, be glorified in all I do. Thank You Jesus for being My Strength. Amen.