As I look at this picture I think of what it represents. It was taken the night of my ordination interview. Doc and I were so excited because the date of August 2 had been set for the ordination service. We prayed he would be strong enough for him to walk me down the aisle. Prior to August 2 I received the call from Pastor Greg Pressley that the service was cancelled. I was devastated. 'Why, God?' I just wanted Doc to walk me down the aisle for my ordination. 'Why, God? We both cried as we talked about the situation but we were 'ok' with it despite being disappointed. We knew God was in control even though we didn't understand it. We didn't know that weekend was going to be a tough one for him and he wouldn't have been able to go anyway. We knew God knew what was best and we also knew we had to accept that. But as human beings it was a hard thing to accept. I am so thankful for our great faith that kept us going during the fifteen months of the journey with the cancer in Doc's body. I am grateful for the hope I have in seeing Doc again. The words of Numbers 3:24-26 encourage me to keep my focus on Him and to allow Him to bless me in the days ahead. I can't even begin to fathom what life will be like without my honey. I can't imagine what it will be like when planning services, having friends and family with me, etc. is over and 'real' life begins. How will I get through the loneliness ahead? How will I learn to eat meals alone? Who will I ask my 'Pastor Doc' questions? I pray people will shower me with God's love, mercy, and grace in the days ahead. I pray for God to continue to remind He is in control. I pray as the 'firsts' come along He will bless me with His peace. This first trip back to Ohio is not the easiest thing to do but I am blessed through it. The last time we went Doc slept a lot on a blow up mattress in the back seat. We stopped frequently for him to be sick. But we made a lot of good memories on the trip both between us and with family. I will treasure those memories. The words of The Blessing that Kari Jobe sings come right from the Scripture. I am thankful for the knowledge that as I stand in His love and empowerment as II Timothy 1:7 tells us of I will receive His peace. He is still in control. He is the Pilot of this storm that continues to be a part of my life.
The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you
And give you peace
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the safe travels we have had so far and for safe travels as we continue on today! Thank You for the way You used me yesterday to present Your Word! Thank You for those who responded! Thank You for everything fitting into the truck for our trip! Thank You for continuing to bless me through others! Thank You for loving me so greatly! Thank You for going before me and opening doors that need opened for my healing! Thank You for continuing to keep my focus on You! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me. May You shine brightly through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today. May people hear/see You instead of me. Lord, I pray for a family who are dealing with their teen son's suicide. May they seek You for wisdom. May they feel Your Holy presence in a mighty way. My heart breaks for them. I also continue to pray for Billy as he is on his new path without Regina. I think of my friend whose husband has left her. I pray for him to come back to You so their marriage will be reconciled. I pray for Mordecei's stomach to settle down, especially as we travel. Lord, be greater than the hurts of life. I miss Doc so much! Be greater than the hurts of our hearts. Thank You Jesus for being My Pilot! Amen.
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