Over the last week I have thought a few times my Momma was leaving this earth. It has been hard but it also has been joyous. Watching her gasping for breath and crying out "Oh God, help me!" was probably one of the hardest things I have gone through. But knowing she knows where she will live for eternity comforts me. Every one of the medical workers who walk in her room get the same question. "Do you go to church?" I heard one say that they use to but don't any longer. She didn't stop the conversation there but instead asked them 'why?' When they told her the church they were going to didn't have programs for their children, she invited them to her church. Not only did she invite them but she told them to call her and she would meet them there. When another one was asked the same question, he told her he did and had a relationship with the Lord. From that time on he told her he was praying for her every time he would come in to do a treatment. She has a Bible laying out on her stand where all could see. She is being a witness for the Lord even when her days on earth may be dwindling. She told her doctor yesterday she was at peace and ready to go to be with the Lord but she is in hopes of that time not being yet because she has more work to do. My Momma has not had an easy life in the world's view but she has been enriched through her great faith and trust in the Lord. She has seen many miracles throughout her life time. Some physical, some emotional, and some spiritual. If you were to ask her which ones she liked the most, I'm sure it would be the spiritual ones. She loves to see people be drawn to the Lord. She loves to see them healed from their spiritual battles. Last night I was exhausted and just wanted to climb into my own bed and go to sleep. God had other plans. For four hours I laid awake praying and begging Him to let me go to sleep. After an hour of prayer He told me to read Psalm 49. I asked Him if I could read it this morning but He said I needed to read it then. So I did. I read it in different versions and pondered upon the words David wrote. The last few verses speak how we, as believers, do not have any reason to fear death. It also speaks of how we, as believers, may see the lives of those around us who do not live for the Lord as being great when in fact it is not. The ways of this world are not what we need to follow. Jesus Christ is the only Way to get to heaven. He is our Intercessor with our Heavenly Father. Matthew Henry wrote about these part of scripture:
Those that are rich in the graces and comforts of the Spirit, have something of which death cannot strip them, nay, which death will improve; but as for worldly possessions, as we brought nothing into the world, so it is certain that we shall carry nothing out; we must leave all to others.
My Momma came to this realization over the last few days. Her earthly possessions are just 'stuff' which will not be going with her to heaven. She kept telling people "I won't be taking a u-haul with me when I leave this earth." She understands the point everyone needs to about life. This world is not our home. It is not where we will spend eternity. We all have a choice to make as to where our eternal home will be. My Momma has chosen heaven. She wants to make sure she takes every opportunity to share that with others so they can have the same opportunity. She is bold in her witness. I desire to be the same. Saturday night God had me praying for pastors to have boldness in their preaching. Pastors are not the only ones that need to be bold. All believers need boldness in their witness. I believe time on this earth as we know it is drawing closer to being over. I believe Jesus' return will be soon. I do not want Him to ask me why I did not share Him when He gave me an opportunity to do so. I desire to have a clean slate with Him. The only way to do that is for me to live in His presence where I not only hear His voice but I walk in obedience to Him.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the intimate time we had together last night. Thank You for providing for me to have a few days with my Momma. Thank You for delaying my flight so I was there to talk with the doctor and then have communion with my Momma. Father, I pray Your will for her. I pray if she is to stay for rehab, the insurance will agree to it. If she is to go home, I pray You will be her strength not only physically but emotionally, mentally, and especially spiritually. I pray for my sister as she is in a heart cath right now. Guide the doctors and give them wisdom. I pray for my brother who needs a spiritual healing. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me. Give me boldness in my witness greater than ever before. Lord, I will admit as I read the syllabus last night for these next four months I was overwhelmed. Guide me as I grasp all involved. Provide me with the mentoring coach You have appointed. Thank You Jesus for being My Past, Present, and Future! Amen.
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