So many times I've asked the Lord, "Why?" Each time He has given me the same answer. "For others to see your strength through Me." Every time I hear His words I am encouraged that He has a purpose for the MS in my body. But it doesn't take away the frustration that comes with having MS. It doesn't take away the yearning to feel "normal" or the desire to be able to function easier. But it does give me encouragement to keep on doing as He desires.
Yesterday was a tough day with the heat index being 101. It probably wasn't the best decision to have a picnic at the park but we've been trying for a couple weeks to get our schedule to be lined up with Ben and Emily's and it's what worked. I felt bad I couldn't do everything the kids wanted me to do with them but it was still a fun time.
As we were there I could feel the energy leaving my body. It was so weird. I knew we still had calling hours to attend and a wedding rehearsal to get through and that was a scary thought. When we came home in between the calling hours and rehearsal, I laid down in the coolness for twenty minutes. I sent out a quick request for prayer and rested. I was blessed with being able to continue to complete the necessary tasks of the evening but I was still feeling drained.
I prayed for the Lord to fill my physical tank back up so that I could function mentally and emotionally. He gave me some but it sure wasn't as much as I would have liked. But I had to stop and think about what His purpose for me for the evening was. What did the Lord expect of me? Did He want me to put a smile on my face and pretend like nothing was wrong? (That's what I am guilty of doing when dealing with such issues.) I prayed and asked Him for guidance and was open when asked, "How are you?" I'm not sure the ones who asked that question were ready for my truthful answer but their compassion was healing to my soul. He blessed me through them. I pray He also blessed them through me.
My Daddy was a fighter throughout 60+ surgeries, gun shot wounds, broken neck from getting hit by a train…the list goes on and on. He fought so many things in his life with the strength of the Lord being his greatest weapon. His faithfulness enabled him to do as the Lord wanted of him. My faithfulness enables me to do as the Lord desires of me. I want to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" when I go before the Lord. (Matthew 25:21)
Dear Jesus,
Today is a new day. I'm grateful for cooler temperatures for today. I'm also grateful for this morning to rest. After a day like yesterday I am drained and struggling physically but I know You are my strength and will direct my path in the places You want me to be today. I pray for the wedding today. I'm so excited to see the way this couple interacts with one another. It's refreshing to see the man be the leader. It's also refreshing to see the woman follow her mate yet still have a voice. I pray they will continue to grow in their relationship with You as the center. Father, thank You for encouraging me through yesterday…no I need to change that. Thank You for encouraging me throughout the tough days of MS. Father, I am Your servant. Wherever You desire me to be, I will go. Whatever You desire me to do, I will do. Thank You Jesus for being My Purpose! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment