So many songs going through my mind...what a comfort they are during tough times.
"What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see..."
"I can only imagine, what it will be like...."
"I will rise when He calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain..."
Thank You Jesus for loving me enough to bless me with such a wonderful earthly Daddy. I'm sure the reason it is so easy to have a close relationship with my Heavenly Daddy is because of how close I was to my Earthly Daddy.
I wonder what my Daddy did when he got to heaven....did he run and look for loved ones? Did he bow down before the Lord? Did he take off dancing? Did he look for someone to help or be a friend to? Whatever he did, I know he did it with a joyful spirit. I know whatever he did it was with a loving spirit. What a wonderful man to have on this earth for almost 88 years! As we reflect back on his life, it wasn't a bed of roses by any means. But it was filled with a strong faith in the Lord.
So many times when I felt like I couldn't handle the MS anymore I would hear, "Sheila Babe, now you know you can do it." On days when he would call and I'd be on the couch he would tell me to "just rest and it will get better. But remember you can't lay around all the time because you'll get bed sores." LOL Yes, that's the Daddy who was my encourager. When I feel like I can't go on, I think of his 60+ surgeries, the way he beat cancer, surviving being shot and being hit by a train....so much for one man to live through. Yet he kept on.
These last few months have been tough as we watched his body deteriorate. The decisions we had to make and the not knowing when his time on this earth would be over were hard. A couple weeks ago as we were in town to pick up a chair I ran in just for a hug and kiss. It seemed kind of silly at the time since I couldn't stay. But now I'm so thankful for those few minutes. I'm thankful for the last conversation I had with him on the phone just a couple days before he was gone from this earth. I'm thankful for my cousin who gave him the phone that day. I'm thankful for his aide Sherrie who was there with Mom when his time was over. I'm thankful for my friend Norma who went to her when I called. It's been so hard to not be in Orrville but it's been easier knowing I have people to call upon.
Today was a day of firsts....
...the first day my Momma woke up with her husband gone after 66 years of marriage.
...the first morning of not calling to see how my Daddy's night went.
There are some tough days ahead but I know we will get through them because of our relationship with the Lord. It's only been a few days ago that I cried out to the Lord and begged Him to show my Daddy mercy. He answered that prayer and for that I'm grateful. I will miss him greatly but I'm thankful I know I will see him again. I know if he were here, he'd tell me to keep on.
I didn't always make my Daddy proud of me and for that I'm sorry. But I did always let him know I love him and for that I'm thankful.
Dear Jesus,
You now have my earthly Daddy with you. Thank You for having mercy. A few weeks ago when I prayed for the situation you told me there was someone in the family who needed You in their life and You were using the situation for that. I don't know of anyone who came to know you recently but I pray someone did. I pray his suffering didn't go in vain. I have a picture in my mind of You and my Daddy having a wonderful time together up there in heaven. I pray I will make You both proud of me. Thank You Jesus for the strength to get through this tough time. Would you remind him that I love him? Would you let him know we are going to celebrate his birthday just as he wanted with people stopping to see him and having a cookie? Would you tell him I miss him and I will see him again?
Amen.
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