I thought yesterday was pretty emotional but BAM today has been even more so. I caught myself looking at the clock this morning and wondering if my Daddy would be calling soon to check on me. I could just hear him saying, "I'm waiting on Mommy to bring me my breakfast." Then while visiting at the nursing home I got a bit teary eyed. If that wasn't enough, as I passed by the frozen foods in IGA I saw the mini eclairs/cream puffs and that was the last straw. What a blessing the last time we spent the day in Orrville. Daddy's appetite came and went so I always tried to take things he would like. V8 juice and the swirled breads from Pepperidge Farm were hits. Another hit were the mini eclairs/cream puffs. That day he had a hand full before lunch and then some more after lunch. We found that BBQ wings from Gionnini's also tasted good to him and he ate two that day! So thankful for the hug the cashier gave me when I fell apart. So thankful for the support I have received from people through calls and cards.
I try to not be so emotional and I try to not fall apart but these days are tough. I keep thinking if my hubby wasn't going through all of his knee stuff I could handle these days better but I just don't know. I am thankful for the life I had with my Daddy. I know not everyone can say they had such a wonderful Daddy. I also am thankful for all of the memories we made while he was on this earth. The things he taught me. I can just hear him now tell me, "Now Sheila Babe you know I'm out of pain. Your know I'm with our Heavenly Father where life is peaceful. Take care of Mommy and I will see you again." In my mind, I know these things. In my heart, I just miss my Daddy.
I can remember so many times when Daddy was off work sick or then after he retired and he would be in the kitchen. Many times he would come to my house to help us get ready for our Christmas Open House. He always teased that he came to help me "cut the cheese"...yes, always the joker! Even when he was unable to come up as long as he was able he sent his Holiday Cakes for the people to enjoy. This past Christmas was the first Christmas he wasn't able to make any. Doc said this morning heaven is probably feasting on his Mom's biscuits and my Daddy's meat loaf and potato salad!
I have always told my hubby that he has big shoes to fill in order to take care of me the way my Daddy always has. This morning I told him he needs to follow in my Daddy's footsteps today. He can sit at the end of the table just like my Daddy did many times and cut-up veggies for the reception. My Daddy isn't on this earth any longer to make memories but we can make memories.
Dear Jesus,
I'm hurting so badly. I know I asked You to take my Daddy out of his pain and into Your arms. I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be without him with us. Once again Lord, I pray for Your strength to come around me. I need it physically, mentally, and emotionally in a mighty way. I am claiming Philippians 4:13 again, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Your strength Lord is the only way I can do this. Amen.
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