II Peter 1:10-11 - "Lord, I'm Ready Now"

Yesterday was a day I thought would never end. Four doctor appointments and a church board meeting were more than enough to fill the day. Add making meals and doing school work on top of that was exhausting. I don't know why but I was very anxious before my first oncologist appointment. It wasn't like I was getting test results or anything. I couldn't understand it. I knew God was with me yet my physical body responded with an elevated BP. I was thankful when I went across the lobby to the second oncologist the BP was down. Most of all I am grateful the Lord is with me. He confirmed when the cancer was first realized that I was do to radiation and then take the hormone pill afterward. I can't imagine not having Him to guide my every step. Years ago when I turned away from Him He never left me. I was the one to turn away. Last night when I finally went to bed I had "Lord I'm Ready Now" in my mind. I am so grateful for the way He accepted me back. I am amazed over and over again with where I am in life. My relationship with Him is so special and I love that He loves me so deeply. I am grateful for the way He uses me as His servant. I promised Him yesterday the enemy will not win in this war against us. The enemy does not like our obedience and that makes me even more determined to dig in my heals and stay planted firm in the Lord. As the Lord takes me deeper in my relationship with Him, I am blessed. I praise His Holy Name for every day He gives me to love on others with His love. I am blessed this morning as I read II Peter 1. Verses three through eleven are words from Peter to those who have turned away from the world into the arms of Christ. The qualities Peter lists of such a person are ones that will bless each of us in abundance. I love the part "With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus." Each day has a reward to be found in it when You live a life going deeper into relationship for Him. Every day has blessings even when circumstances make it hard to see them. He blesses me in abundance as I strive to complement my "basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love" (verses 5-7).

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for wrapping Your loving arms around me each and every day. Thank You for blessing my obedience. Thank You for loving me so greatly. Father, I will admit I am tired of this fight against the enemy but I also will say I am determined he will not win. You are greater than him. You are greater than bills, the cost of medication, etc. I praise Your Holy Name for that knowledge! Please keep reminding me You have everything taken care of! Father, fill me with more of You so the reminders do not have to happen as often. I pray for people to see and hear You through me today. Bless me as I strive to bless others. Be my actions, words, attitude and vision throughout this day. Thank You Father for being My Depth. Amen.

I Peter 5:6-7 - "I Have This Hope"

Being a pastor's wife can be very difficult yet it can be very joyful. It is a role many serve well while others struggle. When the Lord called us to Willard, I struggled with much of the advice given to pastors wives. I never could understand the advice that a pastor's wife was not have friends in the church. I understand that you don't want to offend people with having a 'best' friend. That could cause hard feelings. But not having friends at all just did not make sense to me. After leaving Willard I realized maybe why a pastor's wife is not to have friends in the church is because when you leave it hurts. Leaving my church family was very hard to do. We lived life together for fifteen years. They were in my life for the birth of our first grandchild...actually the birth of all of our grandchildren. They saw us through many MS exacerbations. Doc's foot surgery, tonsillectomy, foot surgery, multiple kidney stones, etc. They were my support when my Daddy died. We were there for births, deaths, graduations, etc. They were more than just my church family. They were my friends. I remember before we left being asked "How can we love on our new pastor's wife the best? What can we do to make her feel welcome and a part of our church family?" My first response was, "Don't compare her to me. Whoever comes will not be like me." Of course we laughed at that statement! But one thing that makes me different than other pastor wives is that I am not only called to be a helpmate for my husband but I am called to be a pastor. I do things in and out of the church as a pastor. Not every pastor's wife would officiate a funeral. Although I have talked to some who their husband became ill and did so. Not every pastor's wife goes to pastoral meetings. I also answered the question by saying, "Love on her like you loved on me. Support her in whatever she does." I remember when we first went to Willard I traveled back and forth to work at Smuckers for a long time. During that time the church loved on us with supper many times. They loved on me with cards to encourage me. They didn't put expectations upon me that were unbearable to meet, although I did. Most of all I knew there were many ladies praying for me as I traveled and that meant a lot. Last night I had a message from a friend about being a shepherd. She wrote, 

You do a great job at all the things Peter calls shepherds to be!  I recall reading in a farm magazine a neat article about the life of sheep-herding.  They live a rather dangerous and difficult life, but the rewards must be good, such as living under the stars, nomad-like, in a slower paced life than most of us will ever live.  However, isolation and loneliness was the hardest challenge.  I am a loner by nature, I might enjoy it.  But my point was, being the Pastor and Pastor's wife might be just as lonely at times?  I hope not.  ULtimately, God is enough, even for shepherds.

The rewards to shepherding are great but isolation and loneliness do come into play from time to time. Moving to South Carolina has been a great adjustment to me. I think of our first month or so and the adjustments we experienced. Even Mordecei struggled. He (and I) were use to having people in and out of the house. We were use to taking walks and stopping and talking to people. Our 'normal' went out the window in so many ways. Many times I found him sitting in the guest room with his head down and it made me cry. His loss of interaction with people and other dogs was great. There were times where I wondered if he would ever adjust or if he would give up and die. I think the reason the Lord sent so many visitors those first few months was because He knew we needed them. I am so grateful for the new friends we made, the new church family He gave us and the old friends who stay in contact. I am really grateful for the internet and today's technology that give us ways to 'be there' on occasions such as Christmas when we physically can't. My last memories of my brother Gene were because Ben did a video on Christmas Eve between those at Mom's and us. I will forever be grateful for that. Being this far from friends and family in Ohio is one of the hardest things to get use to. The loneliness Debbie wrote about is very real from time to time. But praise God the rewards she mentioned come along just when we need them.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the words of I Peter 5 that give direction on what a shepherd needs to be. Thank You for calling me to not only be a pastor's wife but for the calling upon my life to pastor. I know I am not a typical pastor's wife because of that calling. Thank You for loving on me through the transition of the move to SC. Thank You for old friends and new friends. Thank You for our neighborhood and 'C' that gave me friends outside of the church. Lord, You are so awesome! I pray for all shepherds and their spouses who struggle with isolation and loneliness. I pray for You to put people before them who will love on them unconditionally. Lord, I know some who are going through very difficult situations right now that need their church family to become aware of what they need. Please open up their eyes and hearts to their shepherd and family. It breaks my heart to hear shepherds say they can't tell their church family what is happening. Strengthen relationships between shepherds and their flock. Father, I also pray for Your words, actions, attitude and vision to be upon me as I continue to shepherd. Open up new fields for me and enable me to care better in my current fields. Thank You once again for being My Shepherd. Amen.

Colossians 3:23; I Peter 5 - "Be Thou My Vision"

In my class this week we are studying the duties of a shepherd. There was one sentence Bruce Petersen wrote which brought back fond memories. “Shepherds function as spiritual midwives when new lambs are born.” I love the word picture in this statement. One of my experiences over the years in ministry was being a doula (midwife helper) for two children’s births of a family in our church. As I coached Debbie throughout the labor process I shared scripture with her and prayed. When the babies were born, I watched in awe as the other children saw their new baby brother. In the days following the births I took a meal to the family, visited and helped with the children. I realize this is not something everyone does but I am grateful for the opportunity. Shepherds take on different roles in the church but the most important role is to love on people. The best gift a shepherd can give their flock is to follow Christ's example in what they do. Peter gives direction to all shepherds in I Peter 5. He advises them to...

• care for their flock willingly
• feed them
• lead by example
• lead with humility
• be on guard for attacks by the enemy
• trust the Lord
• know they are not alone

These are all pieces of good advice shepherds need to remember. There are times in ministry when one feels like they are at the end of their rope. Many times this is because they are doing things on their own strength instead of praying for God's will. There are some nights that are too short and some days that are too long. But no one is alone. God is always there to encourage. The important thing to remember is keeping Him as our vision. In the hymn "Be Thou My Vision" it gives us the word picture of Him being our best thought...our presence...our light. When He is our vision, we see the world through His eyes. This causes us to love with His love. When He is our vision we focus less on what we want in order to help others. We also are more concerned with pleasing God than pleasing people. He gave me Colossians 3:23 in the very early time of our pastorate in Willard. I was trying to be Super Woman and do everything everyone wanted. He reminded me people are not who I am to please. He is. As I serve others, I need to do it with a cheerful heart. This can be hard when dealing with crabby people but they are not what matters. His will is what will be bring about Him being glorified. I received such freedom when I quit trying to please others. This is not just for pastors but for everyone.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the reminders from Your Word this morning. Thank You for giving clear direction on the duties of a shepherd. Thank You for modeling this type of love for others. Lord, today my heart aches for pastors who will get into the pulpit without allowing You to infill them with Your Holy Spirit. It breaks for pastors who are worn down from trying to please people instead of You. I pray for a few pastors who don't have a church at this time to minister in. I pray for their spiritual tanks to be filled up during this break. I pray for You to become so much more real to them and their spouses. I pray for the pastor's spouse who recently lost their pastor/spouse. I pray for those on the road who minister to many. Most of all I pray for You to be glorified from all pulpits today. Lord, I pray for more of Your traits to show through in me. I pray for Your words, action, vision and attitude to be mine today. Thank You Jesus for being My Good Shepherd. Amen.

Philippians 4:13 - "Home"

I woke up this morning to "Home" going through my mind. When I picked up my phone, I found out a dear sister in Christ had finally received her long-awaited prize. I thought of how she lived a long life loving on others with Jesus' love. When I 'grow-up' I want to me a Marilyn. She was feisty yet gentle. She loved the Lord with all her heart. She was not afraid to tell you like it was although she did it in a loving manner. I truly believe the secret to her life was her prayer life. She encouraged me so greatly over the years we were both in Willard. I will be forever grateful for her example of how to live a life dedicated to the Lord. As I thought of Marilyn's death I was reminded of memories my dear Lenore. They were two of the greatest prayer warriors I have ever known. The Willard Church of the Nazarene would not be where it is today without the prayers of these two women. If heaven has a prayer circle, they both are sitting right there. Death is hard on those left behind but the memories of our friends and family are so precious. Oh how I miss my Daddy! I miss his encouragement in the morning phone calls. I miss his hugs. But I wouldn't wish him back on this earth for anything. The pain he suffered needed to be over. The same with my brother Gene. The pain needed to be over. I miss talking to him. He was a character! I have such fond memories of him taking me places when I was a little girl. He was so much more fun than my sisters. I have special memories of being put into the front seat of his GTO (no seat belts) and told to 'sit still and be quiet and don't tell Mom and I will get you an ice cream cone' as he took me drag racing on Back Massillon Road. He knew food was the way to get me to do anything! I was so blessed when his son Steve gave me this picture that he found in Gene's belongings. Evidently it was in a box of pictures Mom gave him.

Many times when I would call to check on him I would pray with him. I shared Philippians 4:13 with him as he struggled with the loss of his first wife Bobbi, his mother-in-law, our Daddy and with his cancer. I am so grateful I will see him again in eternity. The day he came back to the Lord was a joyous day. The words to "Home" are words he and many others could sing. Sometimes I am jealous of those who are already there but I know the Lord has work for me to do here. The part that says "We'll dance on seas of amazing grace..." Yes! I am so ready to be done with the pain and suffering in this world. But I know there are some who still won't go there so there is still work to be done. 

This world is not what it was meant to be
All this pain, all this suffering
There's a better place
Waiting for me
In Heaven

Every tear will be wiped away
Every sorrow and sin erased
We'll dance on seas of amazing grace
In Heaven
In Heaven

I'm goin' home
Where the streets are golden
Every chain is broken
Oh I wanna go
Oh I wanna go
Home
Where every fear is gone
I'm in your open arms
Where I belong
Home

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the precious memories of those who are already with You. Oh how my heart aches to have time with them. Father, I pray for Your super natural empowerment to be in me so people will come into relationship with You. I pray for people to see and hear You through me. I pray people will be loved by me today through Your love. I also pray for comfort for those mourning. I pray for those who do not know You to be comforted by ones who do so they will desire eternity with You. I pray for those who are watching loved ones die to be comforted in knowing You are with them. Father, most of all I pray for my life to glorify You in such a way those who know You but are not living a life of holiness will desire to do so. Thank You Jesus for being My Home. Amen.

Galatians 5:22-23; I Corinthians 12:7-11 - "Giants Fall"

I woke up this morning to these words of "Giants Fall".......

Don't you be afraid
Of giants in your way
With God you know that anything's possible
So step into the fight
He's right there by your side
The stones inside your hand might be small
But watch the giants fall

I have felt like we have had giants thrown our way every since we came to Beaufort. But we have not allowed the giants deter us. Instead we have continued to rely on the Lord for His will to be revealed to us. As I was singing "The stones inside your hand might be small..." I thought of the fruit of the Spirit that resides in us. Our 'stones' have and will continue to be the gifts He gives us. It is only through living a life of holiness that these gifts are seen. It is just like planting a fruit tree. You can't plant it one day and expect fruit the next. It takes water, nourishment, pruning, etc. before fruit appear. A believer's life takes the manifestation of the Spirit operating in them before they can realize the total impact of the fruit of the Spirit. In I Corinthians 12:7-11 Paul writes about the manifestation of the Spirit...

7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines. 

As one lives a life of holiness the Spirit will work in and through them in powerful ways. The fruit of the Spirit produces the gifts of the Spirit. This is exciting to me! Wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miraculous powers, prophecy, distinguishing between spirits, speaking in different kinds of tongues, interpretation of tongues...woo hoo! These are all available to me as I "live God's way" (Galatians 5:22). I love that we teach our children Galatians 5:22-23 but I think many times we fail in explaining how to have these fruit. It would be amazing to see what would happen now and in the future if the children/teens grasped a life of holiness. I sure wish I would have been taught this growing up.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You, thank You, thank You!!!! You are so awesome in the reminders from Your Word and music You give me. I am so grateful for the 'stones' You provide for me to slay the 'giants' in my little world. Woo hoo! I feel like a heavy weight has been taken off my shoulders as I start this day. I was beginning to allow the physical fatigue, bills, Doc's health, etc. to take away my joy but no longer! As this song says, "Miracles can happen...anything is possible...when the giants fall!" Lord, use the 'stones' inside me today to slay the 'giants' in a way You will be glorified! Thank You for the eleven hours of sleep last night. I praise Your Holy Name for the way You will show Yourself through my words, actions and attitude today! Thank You for being My Gardener. Amen.

Isaiah 10:8-10; Romans 8:28; Phil 4:13; James 1:2-4; I Peter 1:16; II Chron 20:15; Psalm 23; Matt 11:28-29; John 14:27 - "Jesus"

Last night as I was preparing to climb into bed I received an emergency call from a friend. As I was driving to help her I started crying out to the Lord. He already knew the things I was saying but it made me feel better to say them out loud. He started bringing scriptures to my mind that encouraged me greatly. I got the sense that He was telling me to not dwell on the past but look to the future. These past seven days have been full of so many emotions from some of the lowest to some of the highest. I begged Him to not allow my friend's dog to die but that was not His will. I begged Him for a physical rest and today He has provided. I begged Him for a healing in my husband's body and I continue to wait. All of my prayers have been answered but some not as I would like and some not as quickly as I would like. "I" ... that is the key. His will, not mine, is the desire of my heart.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

James 1:2-4 - Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

I Peter 1:16 - "Be holy, as I am holy."

II Chronicles 20:15 - This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.'

Psalm 23 - The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointed my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

This morning I went and read again the words of Isaiah 10:8-10....

“But you, Israel, my servant,
    Jacob, whom I have chosen,
    you descendants of Abraham my friend,
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
    from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Oh how these words encourage me! I feel like since we answered the call to Beaufort the enemy has worked overtime in our lives. My multiple surgeries, cancer diagnosis, radiation treatments. Doc's health issues. Obstacles in ministry. Financial whammies. But then the Lord reminds me He is control. I just need to trust in Him.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the way You continue to provide strength in every aspect of my life. Thank You for the words You encourage me with from Your Word. Thank You for the 'mountains' of joy over this last week with seeing friends and family, spending time with my grand babies, finding out we are having another grand baby. Thank You for the protection in all of the travel. Father, I continue to pray for Steve and PJ with the loss of Gene. I also pray for Rhonda who is not only adjusting today to a new home but also to the loss of one of her fur babies. Lord, I continue to pray for a physical healing in Doc's body. Father, knock the enemy down in our lives when he tries to come in. Strengthen our faith through the trials that come our way. Bless us as we bless You. Be my words, my actions and my attitude today. May they see and hear You and not me. Thank You Jesus for being The One Who Chose Me. Amen.

James 1:2-4 - "Live Like You're Loved"

Sorrows...joy...anger...happiness...disappointment...fulfillment...so many emotions in such a short time. As I reflect over these last few days I am amazed at how the Lord was with me through it all. He was my strength in the valleys and He was my strength on the mountaintops. He was always there and for that I am grateful. He enabled me to experience all of these emotions plus more because He knew I needed to do so. He saw me through some tough days by allowing me to be on the mountaintops throughout them. He is so awesome! I continue to lean upon His strength as we are back home. My physical body is exhausted. My emotional body is exhausted. My mental body is struggling. But praise His Holy Name my spiritual body is thriving! Woo hoo!

Dear Jesus,
You are so awesome! Father, thank You for the way You supported me through this last week. Thank You for the twelve hundred plus miles of safe travel. Thank You for time with family and friends. Thank You for loving on my family through the death of my brother. I pray for his wife and son who are hurting so badly. Thank You for the way You orchestrated our trip home to be at the same time as his death and Rhonda's move. Father, You know the concerns I continue to have over Doc's health. I pray for a healing in his body. I pray for Your will to be a cleansing of anything that is not suppose to be in his body. Lord, be His healer just as You have been in the past. Thank You Father for being My Encourager. Amen.