Psalm 22 - "Into The Seas"

I woke up during the night and prayed for so many people who are going through some tough days physically with surgeries, illnesses, disease, etc. I prayed for so many who recently lost a loved one or friend. Then the Lord turned my prayers to those with spiritual needs. My heart aches for those who are not in relationship with Him. It breaks for those who know Him yet are not living for Him. I am not judging people. I am loving them. In our Matthew study this week judgement is discussed. We are not to judge people but He does expect us to be in right relationship with Him so we can guide others down the right path. We cannot lead others if we are not walking in obedience to Him. We cannot talk to someone about something they are or are not doing if we are not asking forgiveness ourselves every day. We must be cleansed daily of known and unknown things that can separate us from God. We are not separated from His love because He loves us unconditionally. But we can be separated from Him in relationship when we are not walking as He desires. I think of so many who know Him yet are not living for Him. It saddens my heart to see people seeking 'things' of the world to make them happy. God is the Only One who can satisfy us. He is the Only One who can love on us with total unconditional love. Many people blame God for their circumstances. Many will say 'God did this to me' or 'God must not love me because I am going through this'! Satan is the one who puts evilness in our lives. God does not but He will allow us to go through things so we will realize He is the Way we need to live. This morning God took me Psalm 22. Some believe this follows the time when Jesus was on the cross. It begins by asking God why He had left them and ends with the feeling of being finished. This Psalm is one where the author cries out for deliverance for what they are going through. It is full of pain and grief but ends with praise. I love verses twenty-five through twenty-nine in The Message that show the end result of praise after going through a difficult time.

Here in this great gathering for worship I have discovered this praise-life.
And I’ll do what I promised right here in front of the God-worshipers.
Down-and-outers sit at God’s table and eat their fill.
Everyone on the hunt for God is here, praising him.
“Live it up, from head to toe. Don’t ever quit!”

From the four corners of the earth people are coming to their senses,

    are running back to God.

Long-lost families are falling on their faces before him.

God has taken charge; from now on he has the last word.

All the power-mongers are before him—worshiping!

All the poor and powerless, too—worshiping!

Along with those who never got it together—worshiping!

Woo hoo! What a wonderful place to be where everyone is worshiping God! I can't even begin to imagine what such a world would look like. Even in churches not everyone worships God. Some go to church because 'it's the right thing to do' yet they never worship Him. That makes my heart sad too. Oh how I love to be around people who truly worship Him. I love to have people encourage me with His love. Today as Mr. Fran is laid to rest there is celebrating in knowing he will no longer be dealing with swollen legs or weakness. He is now walking in a new body. Woo hoo! But I'm sad to lose one of my biggest cheerleaders on this earth. He was always ready to encourage me in my studying, preaching, etc. When I went through tough times, he was always there with a word of support. When I was going through tough days with Doc and the cancer, Mr. Fran would call me to encourage me to not give up. Oh how I will miss him. Doc and him were always encouraging me to keep going in ministry. I feel sad I will no longer have that encouragement. I remember a few years ago when my Daddy and my friend Lenore both left this earth within a short time. I was devastated because the two of them prayed for me faithfully and encouraged me through phone calls. God assured me there would be others to take their place to pray for me. I know He has provided and will continue to provide people to encourage me. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I also am thankful for words such as Psalm 22 that encourage me to continue sharing His love so more people will worship Him.

Dear Jesus

Thank You for all the ways You love on me through people, Your Word, songs, etc.! Thank You for Amy and her family who had me over for dinner last night! Thank You for my experience yesterday where BAM out of the blue You gave me the sermon You want me to present Sunday! That was such a cool experience! My hands could not type fast enough! Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me with more of Your Holy Spirit. May You shine brightly through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a new, different way. Lord, I'm praying for so many who are going through physical issues. Ellen; Sharon; Nichole; Mary's great nephew Payton; Deb; Colleen; Debbie; and many others. I also am praying for many who have experienced the recent loss of a loved one. Sherry; Mr. Fran's family; Marsha; Amanda; and our family with Doc leaving this earth. Father, I pray especially for those with spiritual needs to come to the end of themselves and allow You to live in and through them as You desire. I also pray for Your presence in my appointment with the attorney this afternoon. May You give me clarity in my thinking. Thank You for the comfort in knowing "It's gonna be ok!" Thank You Jesus for being The One I Praise! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "There Was Jesus"

What a rough night. I could not go to sleep for thinking about Mordecei. At one point I got up when he sounded like he was going to be sick. Thankfully it was a false alarm. I tossed and turned and prayed. I asked God to give me wisdom and peace. I prayed He would take him in his sleep so I didn't have to make 'the' decision. Throughout the night I woke and prayed more. I know it does no good to say 'I wish' but I do wish the timing for 'the' decision would have been while Doc was still on this earth. Once when Mordecei woke me crying I started crying myself. I am so torn. I don't want to not have my four legged buddy with me yet I know it is not fair to him to keep him here with what he is going through. Many have given me their opinions on the matter but I am the only one who can make 'the' decision. I continue to pray for God to give me guidance. Throughout the night the words to There Was Jesus were going through my mind every time I was awake. What a comfort!

In the waiting, in the searching
In the healing, in the hurting
Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces
Every minute, every moment
Where I've been or where I'm going
Even when I didn't know it
Or couldn't see it
There was Jesus

Praise His Holy Name! He is always with me! He is always here to give me exactly what I need when I need it. I am so grateful for that knowledge. I do not have to fear anything. All I need to do is stand upon II Timothy 1:7 and allow the Holy Spirit to empower me. I must continue to seek Him and walk in obedience to His will. I know that is where I will find a deeper faith than I ever had before. It is where my trust will become stronger and His love will be realized in a new way. I must not allow the enemy any open door into my life but instead must present myself before God pure and blameless at all time. I must seek more of Him and less of me in myself. Yesterday was full of tears and that is ok. They are part of the healing process of this journey I am on. God is using them to strengthen me. He is using them to heal the hurts of my heart. Oh how I miss my honey. I miss doing life with him so much. But I know that is not going to change. Therefore, I must stay focused on God to show me how to do life without Doc. I must stay focused on God to receive direction and wisdom on what to do in situations such as what I am facing with Mordecei.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being with me throughout the night! Thank You for loving me so much! Thank You for continuing to give me direction and wisdom! Father, I pray for a strong sense of direction with Mordecei's situation. I pray You will be so very real to me through this situation. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me so more of You will shine brightly through every word, action, attitude, and thought that flows from me. Thank You for Sharon and Deb's surgeries going well! May You continue to be what they both need to get through the days of recuperation. Thank You for my time with Elizabeth yesterday! May You continue to be her strength through these tough days. Thank You for guiding me through another day of life without Doc! Thank You for reminding me even when I feel so alone You are there! Thank You for My Constant! Amen.

Isaiah 55; Psalm 23:2; Romans 14:17 - "We Won't Be Shaken"

Another Sunday has passed. Another week has started. Life is so different since my honey left this earth. I am not looking for a 'new normal' because there is no such thing. As I discussed with a friend yesterday, it is a 'new abnormal' with Doc not with me. After almost thirty-one years of marriage with many of those years being together pretty much 24/7 which was our 'normal' him not being with me just does not feel right. As a strong believer in Christ I am rejoicing he is no longer suffering. As a loving wife my heart is sad to no longer be making memories with him. My friend Kim shared Isaiah 55:12 with me this morning from The Passion Translation. This chapter in Isaiah is about living for the Lord. It begins with an invitation to come into relationship with Him. It speaks of Him as refreshing waters which are also referred to in Psalm 23:2 as the quiet brook of bliss. This is exactly where I desire to live especially in these days of figuring out life without my honey. I am reminded in verse eleven His Word shows love and compassion to me. Verse twelve reads:

For you will leave your exile with joy and be led home wrapped in peace. The mountains and hills in front of you will burst into singing and the trees of the field will applaud!

I do not have to be in bondage to sorrow or grief. Instead I can rest in the knowledge that God continues to be in control. His desire is to lead me through this new journey. This knowledge brings joy and peace to my heart. The only way I can experience such a life is through the Holy Spirit. He is where I can be filled with righteousness, peace, and joy such as Romans 14:17 speaks of. Victory is found through the Holy Spirit. As I seek the Lord and His will I will receive victory in my life. The more I seek His will, the more I will realize His will. Praise His Holy Name!

Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken

Dear Jesus, 

Thank You for Your love that is poured into me by my tribe! Thank You for my friend Kim who shared Your Word that encourages me greatly! Thank You for answering my prayers for Mordecei to sleep all night again! Thank You for the privilege to pray with my friend Sharon this morning before surgery! What a blessing to have today's technology to allow connection with miles apart. I also pray for my friend Deb who is having surgery this afternoon. May You give both of these dear friends Your healing touch in a mighty way. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me. May You use me today as a beacon of light for You. I pray You will be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts throughout this day in a new, different way. May You be my refreshing waters and the quiet brook of bliss I can rest in as I continue this journey of life without Doc. May You continue to be my joy and peace as I settle into this new way of life. Thank You Jesus for being My Victory! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Yes I Will"

This week I've prayed for pastors for many different situations. Some who are moving to new churches; some who are stressed over how COVID19 has affected their churches; some facing serious health issues; some with deaths in their families; etc. There have been a wide array of things to pray for but the one thing that kept coming to my mind throughout the night was to pray for all of us to be in relationship with God so we can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and walk in obedience to Him. The first thought this morning was to pray for sermons to be boldly preached as He desires. My heart breaks for pastors who are not living in His peace. Even in the midst of the storms of life His peace is possible when we are walking in His will. Yesterday I voiced to those at the church building that I am overwhelmed by what needs to be accomplished to finish the building. I know little about what is needed to finish it. Doc was the one with that expertise. He was the one who knew what to do to get things finished. But since he is not here I need to carryon. I was reminded by Jeff that I needed to take things one at a time. When I came home, I saw this picture on facebook and knew God is with me. I don't have to know everything because He knows. I don't have to fret but instead need to give it to Him and allow Him to work things out. I do not need to be anxious but instead need to let His peace flow in and through me. I do not need to fear but instead need to stand on the promise of II Timothy 1:7 and allow the empowerment of the Holy Spirit take over. I already knew these things but the discussion yesterday with more issues being revealed I became overwhelmed. I must not allow that to happen but instead need to allow God to be glorified through the situation. I must take the praises that happen with the project and rejoice instead of looking at all of the issues. By the end of the day yesterday I was wiped out physically but it wasn't from overdoing physically but the emotional and mental aspect of the day. I am so grateful God put people of my tribe before me yesterday. The laughs with Nancy, Chris doing the yard, visits from neighbors with flowers and gifts, phone calls...the list goes on and on. He knew what I needed and provided. I pray for pastors who are getting into the pulpit this morning to feel His presence and know He is there for them. Oh how I pray for those going through the storms of life to realize His peace. Today is one month since my honey left me. Woo hoo to surviving this month! Woo hoo to my tribe who cares so greatly for me! Woo hoo for the cards that continue to come in the mail! Woo hoo for God being so real to me through some pretty tough days! Woo hoo for God using tears to help my hurting heart! Doing life without Doc is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I praise God for not just getting me through this time but giving me what I need to glorify Him through it. I am so blessed to stand in His Peace!

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
Is working all things out

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for Your peace in the midst of the storm I am going through! Thank You for the knowledge Doc is no longer suffering but instead is with You! Thank You for being with pastors who are going through storms such as illness, deaths in their family or church, issues in their church, etc. I pray especially today for: John Mulphas with the death of his grandmother; Rick McCartney with his health issues; James Pomerich who is interim at Willard; two pastor friends who are dealing with cancer; two pastors whose wives are not worshiping with them; myself as I continue ministry without my honey; and all pastors to preach what You give them boldly. It's so hard to believe today is one month since Doc took his last breath on this earth. It's hard to believe that only five weeks ago we tag-teamed the sermon You gave us. Lord, You know the hurts of my heart. I pray You will continue to give me what I need to not just survive these days but to thrive in them. Cleanse me so You can fill me so I can walk in Your will. Thank You for all of my tribe who loved on me so much yesterday. Nancy, Jeff, Bob, Chris, Sharon and Trevor, Tiffany and the kids, Kenneth, Sandy, and others who encouraged me! Thank You for Mordecei sleeping all night! Thank You for giving me the reminder of Your faithfulness! Thank You for being My Peace! Amen.

Psalm 14; Psalm 53 - "The Gospel"

Heaven gained another great man yesterday. It sure seems like God is moving a lot of them there in this season. I can't even begin to imagine the conversations they are having in heaven. This morning the Lord took me to Psalm 14 and my heart cringed. It is a Psalm about those who are not headed to heaven. It makes me sad yet as I stop and think about it I know of so many who blatantly refuse God. Psalm 14 reads in The Passion Translation:

Only the withering soul would say to himself,
“There is no God.”
Anyone who thinks like this is corrupt and callous,
depraved and detestable, devoid of what is good.
2 The Lord looks down in love,
bending over heaven’s balcony,
looking over all of Adam’s sons and daughters.
He’s looking to see if there is anyone who acts wisely,
any who are searching for God and wanting to please him.
3 But no, everyone has wandered astray,
walking stubbornly toward evil.
Not one is good; he can’t even find one.
4 Look how they live in luxury while exploiting my people!
Won’t these workers of wickedness ever learn?
They don’t ever even think of praying to God.
5 But just look at them now, in panic, trembling with terror.
For the Lord is on the side of the generation of loyal lovers.
6 The Lord is always the safest place for the poor
when the workers of wickedness oppress them.
7 How I wish that Israel’s rescue
would arise from the midst of Zion!
When his people are restored,
Jacob’s joy will break forth
and Israel will be glad!

The term withering means 'a fool' in Hebrew. The footnote reads: If we make no room for God, we have withered hearts, our moral sense of righteousness is put to sleep, and the noble aspirations of the heart shrivel up and die. That is so sad. We must never give up sharing God with others. We must never quit praying for people to change their life around to include God. Instead we must live a life sharing His love so people will desire to have Him in their own life. There are times when we feel like throwing up our hands and quitting but we just cannot do that. This Psalm tells us how people without Him have lived. It is in the past. Psalm 53 has almost the same message but it it prophetic. It reads in The Passion Translation:

Only the withering soul would say to himself,
“There’s no God for me!”
Anyone who thinks like that is corrupt and callous;
depraved and detestable, they are devoid of what is good.
2 The Lord looks down in love, bending over heaven’s balcony.
God looks over all of Adam’s sons and daughters,
looking to see if there are any who are wise with insight—
any who search for him, wanting to please him.
3 But no, all have wandered astray, walking stubbornly toward evil.
Not one is good; he can’t even find one!
4 Look how they live in luxury while exploiting my people.
Won’t these workers of wickedness ever learn!
They never even think of praying to God.
5 Soon, unheard-of terror will seize them while in their sins.
God himself will one day scatter the bones
of those who rose up against you.
Doomed and rejected, they will be put to shame,
for God has despised them.
6 Oh, I wish our time of rescue were already here.
Oh, that God would come forth now—
arising from the midst of his Zion-people
to save and restore his very own.
When God fully restores his people,
Jacob will rejoice and Israel will be filled with gladness!

Matthew Henry wrote of Psalm 14:

The world is bad; oh that the Messiah would come and change its character! There is universal corruption; oh for the times of reformation! The triumphs of Zion's King will be the joys of Zion's children. The second coming of Christ, finally to do away the dominion of sin and Satan, will be the completing of this salvation, which is the hope, and will be the joy of every Israelite indeed. With this assurance we should comfort ourselves and one another, under the sins of sinners and sufferings of saints.

All believers need to press into God and allow Him to use them to love people into a relationship with Him. If we give up, many will spend eternity in hell instead of heaven. I have known several who have passed in the last month. Most were living lives that pointed them to heaven. There were a couple I'm not sure where they were in their spiritual lives. I could use the excuse I am no longer near them but that is not a valid excuse in today's society with telephone, computer, etc. I should of/could of made contact with them. Shame on me! I pray someone did love them with His love so they changed their lives. My heart is breaking as I think about this. I know I can't save anyone. Only God does that. But I also know I need to allow Him to use me however He desires so more people can experience His love.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for being with me as I loved on Mr. Fran's family with Your love last evening! Thank You for allowing me the privilege to share Your love with them! Oh how I pray for Your comfort to be upon them in the days ahead. I pray the same for all of us who have lost loved ones. I pray for the hurts of my heart over Doc leaving to continue to be healed as I rejoice he is no longer suffering. Lord, cleanse me so I can realize You more than ever before. May You shine brightly from my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts throughout this day. Lord, I pray for continued work on the church building to be realized so we can finish it. I know it will happen in Your time and I pray that is coming soon. Thank You for my friends Beth and Bob who I had time with yesterday! May You continue to bless them in abundance as they serve You. Thank You for being My Future! Amen.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 - "Into The Sea"

The song Into The Sea continues to be in my thoughts. The words are so meaningful.

Though the mountains may be moved into the sea Though the ground beneath might crumble and give way I can hear my Father singing over me "It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay"

I remember telling Doc over and over that I would be ok when he left this earth. I truly felt that to be the truth. God has been with me through some pretty tough days and I know He will continue to be with me through the ones ahead. I was so blessed when Doc and I talked and he confirmed he also knew I would be ok because God was with me. This was a conversation the Lord knew I needed to have. I am so grateful for those last months/weeks/days where we talked. Of course, there is always things I wish we would have talked about but God knew what was important. He knew it was important to have those talks to reflect upon during the days ahead. He knew it was vital to my faith to have Doc fill my spiritual tank throughout our conversations. He knew I needed to feel His love through Doc. Plain and simple. He knew. He also continues to know what I need. He knows when I need to let the tears fall and when I need to sob. I am so grateful for such a loving God. I praise Him for making my thoughts to continue that "It's gonna be okay..." I continue to seek His will for my life. I will say one of the things I miss most is having Doc here to bounce ideas off of or to talk things out. I miss him praying with me at bedtime. He was more than a husband to me. He was my spiritual leader and for that I am so grateful. I am grateful the Lord continues to stay near me. The song continues...

From beginning to the end You're so close You have never let me down And You won't In the valley, in the shadow I know You're so close You're so close

Yes! He is close to me. I feel His strength and wisdom. When I fall apart, I feel His loving arms around me. I don't like this life without my honey but I have to accept it. I miss him so much but I have to remember I will see him again. I know the only way for that to happen is to walk in Jesus' love and live out His will. I am grateful for His guidance through these tough days but most of all I am grateful for the peace He provides. I am grateful for the memories and pictures I have to look back on. I am grateful God continues to be near me in this season of life I am in.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the way You are loving me through some pretty tough days! Thank You for the way You wrap Your loving arms around me! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You be seen/heard in my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a new, different way. I praise You Doc is no longer suffering. It is so hard to believe it was four weeks ago today he took his last breath on this earth and walked into Your arms. I am jealous of what he is experiencing and I know I must continue living in Your will so I can enjoy such life. Lord, go before today and make be a beacon of light for You. I pray You will be very near to all who are hurting whether their hurt is physical, mental, emotional, financial but especially spiritual. I pray for believers to make a difference in people's lives today more than ever before. Thank You Jesus for being My Closeness! Amen.

Romans 15:13 - "My Hope Is In You"

I read where I wrote a few weeks ago how the season of cancer was over in our life. That statement was a lie in some respects. The season of cancer will remain due to it effecting every breathing moment of my days. Here I am a widow due to cancer. The life we thought we would live as we were to grow old together will never be. There will never be new memories to add. My husband will never have the opportunity to see our grand babies graduate high school, go to college, get married or have babies of their own. My heart is sad. It is broken. But it also is rejoicing for him as I know he now has a new body with no cancer. Sometimes it is hard to rejoice while still on earth yet that is what I am called to do. God reminded me this morning of His great love that gives me hope due to my faith. Romans 15:13 reads...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (NIV)

Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope! (MSG)

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (NLT)

Paul's words encourage me to trust God and He will give me exactly what I need as I figure out this new life. They encourage me to allow the Holy Spirit to empower me so I will make decisions based on God's will. He will continue to be my source of hope as I lean into Him for His strength. He will continue to take my faith deeper as I continue to seek Him. He will continue to fulfill my needs as I live a life of surrender to Him. Plain and simple. He will continue to be exactly what I need to not just get through these days but to flourish through them. I am reminded this morning by a song Aaron Shust sings to keep my site on Him so His hope will be with me.

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long, I won't be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song
And I sing my hope is in You, Lord

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the reminder of Your love, hope, and joy that is ready at all time to consume me! Thank You for Doc who loved me so much while on this earth! Thank You for my tribe who continue to love on me! Thank You for safe travels yesterday as I took Marlene to the airport, her safe travels home, and Elizabeth who went with me! Thank You for my visit with Carringtons and the hugs from all of them! Thank You for the Scentsy church they gave me! Thank You for the work done at the church building yesterday by Mike! Thank You for being with me last night! My life is full of gratitude for all the ways You bless me. Cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You be seen/heard through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts. I pray this morning for Your presence to be felt by: David Laurila; Mr Fran and his family; my sister Sally; Nichole; Donna as she helps Tim post-surgery; and so many others. May You put people in their lives that will speak life over them. Thank You Jesus for being My Source of Hope! Amen.