Tough night means lots of praying. I asked the Lord over and over about the 'why's' of our situation. I cried my heart out to Him, begging Him to 'change our situation' whatever that may mean. I asked Him for love, grace, and mercy for both of us. A few times I felt His peace and fell back to sleep. Sometimes I laid and listened to Doc crying out in pain and I just kept praying. This picture reminds me of 'better' times. What is amazing to me is this was taken just a little over two months ago. It is amazing how the cancer has taken over in that short length of time. I believe this was before the three harsh chemo treatments. I know it was before the two hospital stays, blood clots, and going onto Hospice. These are the smiles I want to remember. These are the times I cherish and will always carry in my heart. I want more of these kind of days but I don't know if that will happen. As I pray for God's will, I am ready to accept whatever that includes. As I live a life surrendered to Him, I know I am living in His will. I don't understand 'why' we are going through such days but I know He is still in control. Romans 12:2 reads in The Passion Translation:
Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.
I strive to live out what Romans 2 describes as a living sacrifice. I strive to live in His will as I walk the road of obedience to Him. I am blessed in knowing He has transformed me. My ways and thoughts are dependent upon Him. As I live out II Timothy 1:7 I am not afraid of the future but instead know I am empowered by God to not only get through whatever lies ahead but to glorify Him through it. This morning I am physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I just want to go back to bed and cover up my head for the rest of the day. I know I will rest some but God will direct me when that will be. I also know there are some things that need done which take thinking and I am praying for Him to empower me through them. I am praying for His joy and wisdom (James 1) that is ready for me to accept. I also am ready for His strength to be mine today in a new, different way (Philippians 4:13). As I keep my focus on Him, He will provide exactly what I need when I need it. Woo hoo! The knowledge of this comforts and empowers me.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy, and grace! Thank You for getting us through a tough night! Thank You in advance for the wisdom you are going to give the nurse and doctor on what to do for Doc's pain! Thank You for going before me today and giving me exactly what I need to not just get through this day but to glorify You through it! I pray for healing in Doc's body. Lord, this pain is tremendous for him. May You be greater than it. I also pray for a cleansing in my spirit so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You be seen/heard through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today. May You be greater than my tiredness. May You empower me with Your strength (Philippians 4:13) and Your joy and wisdom (James 1) today in a powerful way. I pray the same for Regina and David as they go through medical battles themselves. Lord, I also ask for someone to help me with the things that need thinking. Thank You Jesus for being My Empowerment! Amen.
2 comments:
I am praying for you.
Praying too for you.
Go, sorrowing son of affliction, tell thy secrets to the Friend who sticketh closer than a brother. Trust all thy concerns with him who never can be taken from thee, who will never leave thee, and who will never let thee leave him, even “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” “Lo, I am with you always,” is enough for my soul to live upon, let who will forsake me. (C.H. Spurgeon)
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