September 23, 2020 is the first wedding anniversary without Doc being here doing life with me. As I prayed this morning I thanked God for the almost thirty-one years we had. I thanked Him for my honey no longer suffering. I also thanked Him for the knowledge I will see him again. This picture was taken last September on our thirtieth. We went to a more expensive place we had never gone and enjoyed a wonderful meal. He wasn't able to walk as much as in days past on the waterfront but we enjoyed our time there together celebrating our marriage. I shared this reading on Facebook last night...
I am so grateful for these last few months where I made the time to intentionally spend with Doc. I'm grateful for all the trips I made to various places to get him what he thought he could eat. Sushi, bagel with lox, etc. I am grateful for all the times he went with me to the building even when he could do nothing but lay on his mat. I am grateful for my 'tribe' who were there for us bringing us groceries, mowing the yard, doing odd jobs around the house, listening to me and praying with me, etc. I am grateful for all the memories we made over the years. My heart hurts there will be no more hugs from my honey, new memories made, etc. but I know God is with me and will give me exactly what I need to get through every moment of every day. Even the days like today with this first wedding anniversary. I was reminded this morning of David's words in Psalm 34:17-19. They read in the New Living Testament:
The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.
He rescues them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
The righteous person faces many troubles,
but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.
Yes! What promises! He hears my cries...He rescues me...He will stay close to me. Woo hoo! I know I am not alone on this new journey. No matter how overwhelming this new season can appear God will never let me fall. He is always there to encourage me. He is always there to be my wisdom as I allow Him. He is always there to wrap His loving arms around me. Plain and simple. He is always! Woo hoo!
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for being exactly what I need to not just get through this first wedding anniversary without Doc but to praise You through it! Thank You for safe travels yesterday and sleeping in my own bed last night! Thank You for Marlene giving her time to be with me! I pray You will empower us through getting legal stuff accomplished. Lord, may You cleanse me so You can fill me. May You flow from my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today. May You shine brightly through me. I continue to pray for those who had surgery this week for healing. My sister Sally, Donna, and another friend. I pray peace for: the family who lost loved ones in the car accident Saturday; Mike Hignight's family; the wife/mother who was killed in a car accident in Texas; and so many others who are hurting. Lord, my heart hurts but I know I am not the only one hurting over Doc leaving us. I pray for all to feel Your presence in this new season of life. Today is the first full day of fall. It is a day where I would get our decorations for the new season. Doc would grumble jokingly as I did. I will miss that. But I am so thankful You took him from the suffering on this earth and gave him a new body that is cancer free. Thank You Jesus for being My Always! Amen.
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