II Timothy 1:7; Numbers 6:24-25 - "All My Hope"

 

Peace...Numbers 6:24-25 is a blessing that ends with the idea that the Lord blesses us and gives us peace. I'm so thankful for His peace in the midst of the storms of life. My storm came crashing down last evening when my honey's cancer, diabetes, etc. were no more. As Doc took his final breath here on earth at 5:25 he started dancing with Jesus. Earlier in the week we were talking about his soon time to leave this earth and I joked with him that when he started dancing with Jesus he better not be naked! LOL I told him I was jealous that he would soon be joking with my Daddy. Last night I wondered if my Daddy had introduced him to my sister Naomi and if he had found Mike Stima yet to talk. So many people who have also gone home ahead that I thought about. His Mom and Dad, grandparents, friends...the list goes on and on. Most of all I was jealous of him having a new body and being with the Lord. I did not nor do I feel ready to do life without him but that is what the Lord has before me. I pray I will make both Doc and the Lord proud of me in the days ahead. I know my faith has been taken to a new level. Life was forever changed at 5:25PM, Friday, September 4, 2020. I have a choice to make on whether that change will effect me positively or allow the enemy to tear apart what God has already done in my life. Throughout the night Thursday night the Lord had me singing Crowder's song All My Hope to Doc. It was one of his favorite songs. We loved seeing Crowder in concert and especially loved when he sang this song and asked the audience to sing along with him. Oh my I am going to miss doing such things with my honey. But I must remember God is right here with me. When the tears fall, God is healing my broken heart. When life feels unbearable, God is right here wrapping His loving arms around me. When I feel like I can't go on, God is right here to give me His supernatural strength. During the night God gave me three words to hold onto. Faith..Hope...Love. He will take my faith deeper, give me hope, and shower me with His love. Woo hoo! Would I have chosen to be a widow? Absolutely not! Would I ever have dreamed I would do life without my honey with me? Absolutely not! Am I alone? Absolutely not! Praise His Holy Name!

All my hope is in Jesus
Thank God that yesterday's gone
And all my sins are forgiven
I've been washed by the blood

I'm so thankful for the knowledge I will see Doc again when my time comes to leave this earth. I'm so blessed from the stories shared with me last night of what Doc meant to so many people. He was instrumental in changing so many lives for the Lord. He is my hero. I pray I can follow in his footsteps and make a difference for the Lord. I've never done ministry without him but the Lord has given me a glimpse over these last fifteen months of what it is like. God was preparing me with Doc's hospital stays, not driving, etc. I'm so grateful for Him being with me every step of the way. He knew what I needed and provided. Woo hoo! He knows what I need in the days ahead and will provide. He will give me exactly what I need to knock the devil down when he comes knocking! God gave me II Timothy 1:7 the month prior to Doc's pancreatic cancer diagnosis and I will continue to stand in His empowerment and love.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the way You love on me so much! Thank You for the privilege to be Doc's wife for almost thirty-one years! Thank You for taking him out of the pain and misery he was experiencing on this earth and giving him a new body! Thank You for the Hospice nurse still being here when he took his last breath! Lord, You are so, so good! The other day when the Hospice nurse said I had a good tribe to support me I felt so blessed. That is all in Your plan for my life. Thank You! Lord, today is a new day. It is the first day of my new life without my honey with me but I know You are always with me and for that I am grateful. May You cleanse me so You can fill me so I do not miss any opportunity You put before me. I pray for Your strength to be my strength as I go this morning to make final plans. May You give me Your decisions as I am asked and may You continue to give me Your peace. This picture was from the night I was told I would be ordained. Doc had his first strong chemo that week and was not physically doing well but You gave him the strength to be with me. I am so grateful for that since ordination was not able to happen yet due to COVID19. Thank You for giving us that time to share! Lord, there were many things that did not get accomplished before he left. I pray for Your wisdom and guidance on getting them completed. I also pray a blessing over those who have been so much a part of my life over these last few days. There are so many who continue to support me with prayers, texts, calls, etc. I don't want to miss anyone so I won't list them but Father bless them all. I pray a special blessing over my family and friends who are grieving over the loss of our great husband, father, Papa, brother, pastor, friend. May we all experience Your peace today and in the days ahead. Thank You Jesus for being My Peace! Amen.