Yesterday I was struggling even after my devotions. I told Linda I just felt like crying. With not sleeping well the night before I was not ready to face another day of travel. I knew I needed to fill myself up with more of the Lord so I cranked up the radio and began singing along. There were so many songs that blessed me in abundance but Laura Story's "Blessings" really blessed me.
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not
This is not our home
Praise His Holy Name for the knowledge that this is not our home! Praise His Holy Name for the knowledge that I will see my honey again! Praise His Holy Name for always providing exactly what I need when I need it! Yesterday falling into Ben's arms and crying was what I needed. Spending a little time with him and his family was what I needed. Emily's hug was what I needed. Hearing "Grandma Sheila!" was what I needed. Praise His Holy Name! My heart is broken. I miss my honey so, so much. Life is just so different without him here with me. I am thankful for the Lord's presence in my life. I am thankful for the encouragement He gives me through people, His Word, music, etc. I am thankful that He is with me on this new journey. It is definitely one I would not have chose but it is the one I am on. I must stay in His presence so my focus can stay on Him. I cannot allow the enemy one little bit of leeway into my life. I must stand upon II Timothy 1:7 in a mighty way to stay where I need to continue living. I don't know what blessings will come my way but I do know there will be blessings on this lonely journey without Doc. I don't know where the Lord will take me but I know He will continue to guide me as I allow Him. I don't know what my future holds but I know who holds it. These things I am sure of because I am sure of His love for me.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the safe travels You provided for us and especially for burning off the fog! Thank You for my time with Ben, Emily, and the kids yesterday! Thank You for Linda Gossard and Mary Saunders who provided food! Thank You for getting me through another 'first' without Doc! Thank You for tears and for laughter that keep me going! Thank You for loving me so greatly that You will cleanse me so I can shine bright today for You! May You ooze out of my words, actions, thoughts, and attitude today in a new, different way! Lord, I pray for Marcia and her family with their loss. I pray You will be so real to them. I also pray for Your realness to be realized by those who continue to go through natural disasters such as the forest fires and another hurricane. I pray for healing upon Kaye and Tom with their injuries. Lord, I pray for Mordecei. I ask that You help him as he is struggling physically. I pray he continues to be with me through these tough days but Father if that is not to be then I pray for an added dose of Your strength. Thank You Jesus for being The One To Bless Me! Amen.
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