Yesterday was a 'good' day with my sister Linda. I'm so glad God made it possible for her to be here with me at this time. After we got some things accomplished we took a break and went to my 'happy place' AKA Hunting Island. It was one of many firsts for me that brought back so many memories. I went for a walk up the beach by myself and felt not only God's presence but I felt like Doc was smiling down on me. After the stroke his beautiful smile was no longer. I praise God for all the pictures and memories I have where he was smiling. I praise God for the strength He gave him to be there at Hunting Island when his brother Tim and sister Amy were visiting in June. I praise Him for the strength He gave him to spend time there with Ben, Emily, and the kids during their visit. As we passed Johnson Creek Tavern I praised Him for our meal there with Adam, Rachel, and Miss Aiya. She was so cute eating Papa Doc's fish. Awww the memories. Memories of many 'lasts' and knowing there are going to be many 'firsts' hurts my heart. Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed I thought about the last time I prayed with Doc at bedtime. I treasure the memories of FaceTime bedtime prayers when he was in the hospital. The last bedtime prayer was a one-way communication between us as his speech was gone. Once again, these memories hurt my heart but they also give me joy! As I walked on the beach yesterday Crowder's song All My Hope came flowing off my lips and out of my heart. He is my Hope. This song is about coming into relationship with the Lord. It is about repenting and accepting Him into your heart. The Lord reminded me the only reason I am where I am today is because I walked back into His loving arms after falling out of relationship with Him. He reminded me my goal on this earth is to share His love so others can have the same experience.
Come on and sing
All my hope is in Jesus
Thank God my yesterday's gone
All my sins are forgiven
I've been washed by the blood
Praise His Holy Name for forgiveness, grace, and His love! Without it we would be nothing. I'm so thankful for the memories I have to reflect back on and the way He is with me every step of the journey ahead. He was with me in a mighty way for the last fifteen months with our journey with Doc's cancer and for that I am grateful. I know without a doubt I do not have anything to fear as I stand on II Timothy 1:7 in His love and empowerment. There is much unknown to me. There are many questions people have asked that I have no answers for but I'm thankful that's ok. God knows all. He is in control. As long as I stay in His presence the answers will come as they are needed. Am I anxious? From time to time I am because I am human. Am I fearful? No because I know God has been with me and will continue to be with me. Am I sad? Most definitely because I miss my honey. I am so thankful for God's love and presence in my life.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the memories of many 'lasts' and for new memories of 'firsts'! Thank You for so many people sharing their stories of how Doc influenced their lives! Thank You for another day that is ahead for me to walk in Your empowerment! Father, my heart hurts as I miss my honey. Thank You for tears that cleanse! I pray Billy is feeling Your empowerment today as he has Regina's service coming up later in the week. I pray for all widows and widowers to feel Your presence. My list is so long as I pray for them. Thank You for Linda being here with me and all we accomplished yesterday! Thank You for what will be accomplished today! Cleanse me so You can fill me. May You ooze out of me in a way that people will experience You today through me. Be with my boys, their ladies, and our grand babies today in a mighty way. Thank You for being My Hope! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment