Psalm 19 - "Into The Sea"

This morning the Lord directed me to read Psalm 19. This Psalm reminds us we can find God in His creation and through reading His Word. Yesterday was such a dreary day with the rain falling most of the day. It went along with how I was feeling emotionally as the tears fell from time to time. At one point God reminded me of how He uses the rain to cleanse the earth just as He uses tears to cleanse my spirit. He also reminded me once again that I'm not alone on this journey even though I am lonely. He blessed me with an awesome Bible study with some new faces last night. During the study we discussed how we need to not just 'talk the talk' of being a believer but we also must 'walk the walk' so others will see Him through us. I pray even through these tough days people see Him through me. I feel numb since Mordecei left this earth too. I'm thankful I do not have to do these days on my own strength. I don't think there is much more of it left after taking out belongings of another one from this house. Psalm 19:7-14 tells us we have God's Word to lead us through every day of our life. I feel like I go to His Word so much more than ever these days. I love how verses seven through nine describe His Word in The Passion Translation...

God’s Word is perfect in every way;
how it revives our souls!
His laws lead us to truth,
and his ways change the simple into wise.
8 His teachings make us joyful and radiate his light;
his precepts are so pure!
His commands, how they challenge us to keep close to his heart!
The revelation-light of his word makes my spirit shine radiant.
9 Every one of the Lord’s commands is right;
following them brings cheer.
Nothing he says ever needs to be changed.
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His Word is perfect...revives us...leads us to truth...make us joyful. Woo hoo! Verse ten continues...

The rarest treasures of life are found in his truth.
That’s why I prize God’s word like others prize the finest gold.
Nothing brings the soul such sweetness
as seeking his living words.

Praise His Holy Name for giving us His Word to read, ponder upon, gain strength from, etc. especially during tough days such as what I am going through. I need to get better are appreciating His Word. I need to get better at spending more time in His Word. I need to get better at showing my love for Him through being in His Word. Plain and simple. I need to get better. Verse fourteen is one I learned as a little girl in Sunday School. I read it this morning in different versions to get the full just of it. In The Message verses eleven through fourteen read:

There’s more: God’s Word warns us of danger
    and directs us to hidden treasure.
Otherwise how will we find our way?
    Or know when we play the fool?
Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
    Keep me from stupid sins,
    from thinking I can take over your work;
Then I can start this day sun-washed,
    scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
These are the words in my mouth;
    these are what I chew on and pray.
Accept them when I place them
    on the morning altar,
O God, my Altar-Rock, 
    God, Priest-of-My-Altar.

The desire of my heart daily is for God to cleanse me so He can fill me. I desire for Him to wash me clean so I can walk in His will on the road of obedience. I am so grateful for His Word that encourages me to live in this manner. I also am grateful for His Word that encourages me to stay close in relationship with Him. I would be so lost without Him especially right now. I know numbness is part of the grief process. I also know tears will continue to come from time to time and that's ok. The question of 'why?' will continue to be a part of my thoughts. I don't understand 'why' I have to go through this tough season with loss but it's ok because God has a plan. I pray I will never lose my focus on Him so I can realize His plan. 

My heart is breaking
In a way I never thought it could
My mind is racing
With the question, "are you still good?"

Can you make something
From the wreckage?
Would you take this heart
And make it whole again?

Though the mountains may be moved into the sea
Though the ground beneath might crumble and give way
I can hear my Father singing over me
"It's gonna be OK, it's gonna be OK"

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for Your love that is getting me through these tough days! Thank You for the tears that cleanse my spirit! Thank You for Your Word that encourages me greatly! Father, cleanse me so You can flow from my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today. May You continue to encourage me that "It's gonna be OK..." May You be realized through me in a new, different way today so others will see/hear You instead of me. Lord, my heart hurts. I miss Doc and Mordecei so much. It's so lonely here in this house without them. I don't understand 'why' but I pray You will strengthen me through these days. I pray You will continue to be so very real to me through these hurtful times. Lord, give me Your guidance as I bring the sermon together You have placed on my heart for Sunday. I also pray You will give me something 'fun' to do that will bring healing to my soul. Thank You for Melanie's appointment and my sister Linda's procedure going well yesterday! May You continue to give doctors wisdom in their situations. Thank You Jesus for being My Altar-Rock! Amen.

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