II Timothy 1:7; Philippians 4:13 - "His Strength Is Perfect"

 

Yesterday we talked about how we hoped last night would be a night where we were able to sleep. We prayed for a 'better night.' Sometimes our prayers are not answered the way we desire. Sometimes the way we pray is the opposite of what happens. As I listened to Doc moan in pain, I asked God why he had to go through this. There was one point in the night when Doc told me he was just 'ready to check out' from all of this. My heart broke but I totally understand and told him so. I don't want 'to do life' without him but neither do I want to continue watching him suffer. These tough nights make for emotional days. My prayer request last night was that I would not be as crabby today as yesterday. I'm tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've said it before and I will say it again. I just want to bed and cover up my head. I remember my Daddy doing that in those last months when cancer was making life so hard. But I also remember over the years my Daddy calling me and getting on me if I were still in bed or laying on the couch. I can still here him say, "Now Sheila Babe, you cannot stop moving. If you do, the MS will take over and you can't allow that to happen." I'm a fighter just as my Daddy was but I feel like the fight is leaving me. Life is too much right now. I pray but am not receiving the answers I desire. I try to live out His will but sometimes feel like I must not be hearing His will because I feel like I'm losing. To be honest there are times it is hard to stay focused on what I need to be focused on. But I cannot allow the enemy a foothold. I have to stay strong in my faith. I have to keep focused on God. He will not only get me through these 'tough' days but He will be glorified through them when I allow Him. This morning the words to His Strength Is Perfect is going through my mind.

We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in His power, the weak become strong
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect

Yes! I must allow Him to show His power through me. I must be more intentional in standing in II Timothy 1:7 so I will pray and be in His Word more. I must allow Him to be my strength. Plain and simple. I must. I cannot quit now but I must continue on. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for Your love, mercy, and grace! Thank You for Doc being able to lead board meeting last night! Thank You for the hot bath and medication that finally gave him a few hours of relief! Thank You for a day with nothing on the calendar today! Lord, I'm wore out physically, mentally, and emotionally but I do not want to be worn down spiritually. Give me Your direction to fill my tank. Cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May You be my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a new, different way. May You shine brightly through me whether I leave this house or not. May the crabbiness in me not show through today. I pray continued healing for: Sean who had three stints put in yesterday: David as he continues rehab; Rhonda's grand baby in the womb; Sharon's mom; my sister Linda; Larry Strasbaugh; Kim Craigmyle; Martha Nevins; and so many others. I pray Your strength in an abundance for: Doc and I; Mike Hignight; David Kilgore; Shirley Vance; those who are struggling with depression; Craig Wrench and his family; and so many others. Lord, be greater than the things we are all dealing with and remind us of Philippians 4:13. Thank You for being My Strength! Amen.