The Lord woke me up this morning to a song Plumb sings called "Need You Now" and I immediately thought well I don't feel this way. I don't feel afraid of all that is going on. I don't feel like giving up. Or do I? That thought took me back to yesterday when we were going to go do something and I was just too tired. When Doc said something about we would do it once I started walking better, my response was something like "if that ever happens." I think that is the first time I had said that. Am I giving up? Therapy is coming to an end and yet I still am no where near on my own in the walking.
I know God is in control. I also know His will is perfect. If I never walk again on my own, He will give me exactly what I need to adjust. If I never am able to drive again, well He is going to have to do some major miracles with that. We were blessed with fresh sweet corn, celery and cabbage from Adavee who went to the farm market Wednesday. Yesterday as we were enjoying them I told Doc we have missed out this summer on fresh veggies with me not driving. I love stopping at roadside stands to see what they have, going down to Martin's to get their good veggies, etc. Life is just different right now. That's "ok" as long as we stay in the center of God's will and allow Him to guide us through this season.
Trying to figure out a place we can go to get away is another challenge. I keep praying for the Lord to direct us to the right place. There are so many things to consider. Price, accessibility, mail needs checked regularly for any news from Social Security, don't want to be away from my four-legged buddy, etc. But yet I have peace the Lord already knows where, when and how. We just have to wait on His direction.
These words are ones that have went through my mind so many times, especially over the last three months...
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
Yes, He is my Strength. He is the One who hears my cries. He is the One who is always with me. For all of these things, I am so grateful. I am also grateful for being in the place where I can hear His voice.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the reminder of Your Presence in my life. Thank You for the way You love me so greatly. Thank You for hearing my cries and comforting me with the knowledge You are in control. Father, enable me not to be a hindrance to Doc. Lord, today is a new day. Give me opportunities to be You to others. Fill me to overflowing with more of You and less of me. Father, thank You for being My Strength. Amen.
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