I am struggling yet I know I need to press into the Lord for His wisdom and strength. I know He loves me and I can feel that love. He is the Almighty who is greater than anything the enemy can put in our path. He took me to Psalm 64 this morning. David is tired of being attacked by his enemies and laments to God. Matthew Henry describes this Psalm: The psalmist earnestly begs of God to preserve him from disquieting fear. I looked up the definition of disquieting and found: Causing mental trouble or anguish; upsetting; making uneasy. COVID is making me feel this way. Hearing of loved ones with it brings back memories of my Rickey struggling and dying with it. Hearing of damaged lungs breaks my heart. I know I need to stand upon II Timothy 1:7 now more than ever before. I know I need to allow God to soothe the hurts of life. I know He will do these things for me. Plain and simple. I know. I just have to do it. The enemy would like nothing better than to have an open door to play havoc in my life. I cannot allow that to happen. Last night I wanted to participate in a zoom meeting and had all good intentions of doing so. When it came down to the time to sign-up, it was too overwhelming so I did not do so. I want to get back into doing such things and pray about it. I felt like God was encouraging me to do so but then I felt like I did not have the mental nor emotional energy to do so. Doing life is harder some days than others. It is a bit discouraging at times. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God is with me and He gives me peace every day. He puts people in my life who encourage me greatly. He brings Scripture and songs before me. When He told me to ponder upon Psalm 64 this morning, I went to it and read it in different versions. It seems like a 'downer' of a Psalm yet David was feeling much like I am feeling. He was tired of being attacked by his enemies. David asked God to deliver him from his enemies in the first part of the Psalm and then shows expectation of that deliverance in the second part. That is exactly what we all need to do when feeling overwhelmed. We need to pray and to expect answers to our prayers. The 'enemies' in our life will strengthen our faith. Enemies are not always in the form of people but can be circumstances. COVID is a real enemy in life right now. It makes me uneasy because of the loss of my Rickey from it. It gives me anguish to think of the 'what ifs' with it. I must remember God is greater than COVIID. He is greater than anything the enemy puts before me. The words to a song Hilary Scott sings called "Thy Will" are on my mind this morning....
I’m so confused
I know I heard You loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of Your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
His will is exactly what I pray for my life. I desire to walk in His will as I strive to be obedient to Him. I may not understand the mountains and valleys of life but He knows all. I may not understand why He gave me such a short time with my Rickey but He knows. I may not understand the feelings I am having but He knows. Plain and simple. He knows all and He will see me through these 'tough' days. Praise His Holy Name! I will stand upon Psalm 64:9. It reads in the NIV: All mankind will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done. This verse does not mean I will fear what is ahead. It means I will revere God as I live for Him. I love the word ponder is in this verse with it being my word for 2022. The more I focus on Him the less I will be uneasy with life. I know these things but sometimes God needs to remind me.
Dear Jesus, Thank You for the opportunities to love on people yesterday and the ones ahead today! I want to pray for today to be an easier day yet I know it is during the 'tough' days that my faith is stretched. Father, You know the concerns I have with loved ones with COVID. I pray for Your supernatural empowerment to give me exactly what I need to not allow the enemy an open door. When I hear of COVID, my mind goes to my Rickey's last days on this earth. Quiet my fears and give me exactly what I need to not just get through these days but for You to be glorified through them. Cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May I lean into James 1:2-4 more than ever before as You work in and through me. I pray the same for many going through 'tough' days. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben; my brother Richard; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Little Jensen who needs a heart; Sharon Sebolt and her Momma Shirley; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Kristen Batten; those with COVID either themselves or in their family; Ms. Savon; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c' and/or going through treatments...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousins; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; Little Ivy; Betty's friend in New York' and my friend recently diagnosed with mesothelioma. I pray for Jonathan whose mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Oh Lord, be so close to this family. So, so many hurting situations. Thank You for being with Baby Henry as he went through surgery yesterday! I continue to pray for healing in his little body. Thank You for continuing to be what Anna, Michael, Matt, and I need on this road of grief! Thank You for being My Almighty! Amen.
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