II Chronicles 20:15 - "Even At My Worst"

This week has been hard with being in bed with a virus. I do not know when I have slept as much as this but they say sleeping is healing. I am so blessed with having many in my life who check on me, pick up things from the store, etc. My tribe are the best! Each day when I would wake I would think about writing my blog but it did not happen. I felt 'bad' because of not writing. I felt 'bad' because I felt like I was letting the Lord down. He kept bringing the same song to my mind, "Even At My Worst"...

Even at my worst You love me
You wrap Your arms around and You hold me close
Even at my worst You give
Something I don't deserve
You love me even at my worst

I had times this week of crying because I felt so bad physically and that caused me to be emotional. I had times when I got crabby with people who meant well with what they were telling me to do. My emotions were all over the board throughout these last days. I listened to songs my Rickey sent me and read texts he sent. I looked through pictures of the memories we made. Once again, I got angry with his dying from COVID. So many emotions were experienced over these days of being in bed. I cried when I thought about times in the past of having a 'bug' and the MS taking over and having to go to therapy to get my strength back. I wanted to push myself yet until yesterday I could not. Thankfully, yesterday I did have what it took to get up and move some. I was able to get in over 5000 steps. Praise God! That is only half my 'norm' but it was better than earlier in the week. Perhaps even greater than the physical issues is the mental issue of not being able to concentrate. I tried to read but I struggled and gave up. I tried to write but once again struggled and gave up. I am thankful God continues to love on me through such times. I also am thankful the COVID test was negative. This virus was enough for me! I sit here and think of the day ahead and pray I can get up and move like yesterday. I pray I have what I need mentally to finish Sunday's sermon. I pray God will continue to encourage me as I bask in His presence through this virus. I have been repeatedly reminded of II Chronicles 20:15. No matter what battle we are going through in life it is God's. He is in control as we allow Him to be. Woo hoo!

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the reminder of II Chronicles 20:15! Thank You for the song "Even At My Worst" You kept before me this week! Thank You for the 5000+ steps I got in yesterday and for the way You are going to increase that amount today! Thank You for the nausea being gone and for the way You will alleviate the headache soon! Thank You for a negative COVID test! Thank You for encouraging my heart through so many who love on me with Your love! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You! Even though I will not leave the house today I pray You will use me in some way to shine brightly for You. I feel like my light has been too dim this week but I know You will restore it. Lord, there are so many people going through 'tough' days. May Your presence be felt greatly by all. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; my brother Richard; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Little Jensen who needs a heart; Sharon Sebolt and her Momma Shirley; the Pottenger Family; Serena and her husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Mary Lilly; Kristen Batten; those with COVID either themselves or in their family; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c' and/or going through treatments...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousins; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; Little Ivy; Betty's friend in New York' and my friend recently diagnosed with mesothelioma. I pray for: Jonathan whose mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor; Little Henry and Noel who had heart surgeries; a set of twins who were born premature; and a young Momma in premature labor. Oh Lord, be so close to these families. So, so many hurting situations. I continue to pray for Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we continue this journey of grief. Thank You for the story Kelly shared with me yesterday about my Rickey! What a treasure! Thank You for being My Healer! Amen.