One month. How is it even possible it is has been one month since my Rickey took his last breath on this earth? My life changed drastically that day. Actually, my life changed on November 26 which was the last time I heard his voice and received a text from him. Communication between us happened throughout every day. I miss his calls and texts. I miss hearing his voice. When he was in the hospital and there was still hope for him to have restored health, I bought this frame at a thrift store for him for Christmas. He would have loved it for several reasons. One being it came from a thrift store which he loved shopping for treasures. Second, he always told me I took his breath away. This saying has deep meaning we all need to ponder upon. We never know when our last day on this earth will be. We need to be ready to see Jesus at all time. We also need to make the most of our time on this earth. We need to share Jesus' love with all we meet when He puts opportunities before us. We also need to have regrets in our relationships. There will always be questions in our minds of "What If?" but when we ponder upon them I pray they will not be questions that have an outcome on someone's eternity. I am reminded of Matthew West's song this morning....
What if today's the only day I got?
I don't wanna waste it if it's my last shot
No regrets in the end
I wanna know I got no what ifs
I'm running till the road runs out
I'm lighting it up right here right now
No regrets in the end
I wanna know I got no what ifs, yeah
I do not have regrets of my short time with my Rickey. Of course, there are the 'I wish I would have taken more pictures' or 'I wish we would have finished his book' or 'I wish we would have seen more dreams play out.' But none of those were in God's plan. His plan was to bring us together to heal our hurts. His plan was to open my heart to love again. His plan was to show Rickey His love through me. Plain and simple. His plan happened in both our lives. Praise His Holy Name! Paul's words in II Corinthians 5 give me comfort. These verses are entitled "Living By Faith" in The Passion Translation.
We are convinced that even if these bodies we live in are folded up at death like tents, we will still have a God-built home that no human hands have built, which will last forever in the heavenly realm. We inwardly sigh as we live in these physical “tents,” longing to put on a new body for our life in heaven, in the belief that once we put on our new “clothing” we won’t find ourselves “naked.” So, while living in this “tent,” we groan under its burden, not because we want to die but because we want these new bodies. We crave for all that is mortal to be swallowed up by eternal life. And this is no empty hope, for God himself is the one who has prepared us for this wonderful destiny. And to confirm this promise, he has given us the Holy Spirit, like an engagement ring, as a guarantee.That’s why we’re always full of courage. Even while we’re at home in the body, we’re homesick to be with the Master—for we live by faith, not by what we see with our eyes. We live with a joyful confidence, yet at the same time we take delight in the thought of leaving our bodies behind to be at home with the Lord. So whether we live or die we make it our life’s passion to live our lives pleasing to him. For one day we will all be openly revealed before Christ on his throne so that each of us will be duly recompensed for our actions done in life, whether good or worthless.
My Rickey's earthly tent folded up on December 10, 2021 but praise God he received his God-built home that day. I am jealous of all who have received their God-built homes. Both Doc and my Rickey told me they were not afraid to die but they weren't ready to leave. They both had life they wanted to experience. God had other plans. We that are left behind need to realize God's plans are always what is best. Even when we do not understand it is OK. All we have to do is allow God to be Who He desires to be in our life so we can be who He desires us to be. This Scripture encourages me to stay strong in my faith. I love the description of having a joyful confidence. I am striving to do so. I continue to pray for God to give me what I need to not just get through these days of grief but for Him to be glorified through them. Grief is hard but my God is greater. Woo hoo!
Dear Jesus, Thank You for the way You loved on me yesterday with the service and the feedback afterward! Thank You for Darrell and I being able to visit his Momma and my visit with Marion! Thank You for the healing that has occurred over this last month since my Rickey took his last breath on this earth! The hurt is deep but I know You are with me. I continue to pray for Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself for this journey. I pray Your strength to empower us when the tears fall. I pray for others who have lost loved ones to have this in their lives. Lord, cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. I have no plans to leave the house today but I pray someone will see/hear You through me. I pray for many going through 'tough' days to feel Your presence in their lives. I pray for people to love on them with Your love. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Little Jensen who needs a heart; Sharon Sebolt and her Momma Shirley; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c' and/or going through treatments...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousins; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. Father, I also pray for a friend who is undergoing testing for possible mesothelioma. Lord, be so real to her in these days. My heart breaks with so many dealing with COVID in themselves and/or family members. I pray for recuperation for Coley's mother, Kaye, Wanda, and FaDana. I pray for Sue Danhoff as she has surgery today. Thank You for being My Joyful Confidence! Amen.
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