Yesterday was a better day in the aspect of 'doing life' with the tears only coming once. One of Rickey's friends reminded me last night that Rickey would not want us to be sad. I know that but the hurt brings on the tears from time to time. I was reading something posted on Facebook that reminded me to not give up but to continue to seek God's joy in my life. I am reminded of the words to a song Baylor Wilson sings called "Joy Comes In The Morning"...
Though your weeping may last for the evening
And your sorrow may stay for the night (Ooh, ooh-la-la-la)
Keep your eyes up, your heart still believing
'Cause your God tells the sun when to rise
Joy comes in the morning
Joy comes in the morning
The song continues about how God has every battle that comes before us and we just need to be still. Exodus 14:14 has been brought before me multiple times this week. It also tells me that God is fighting for me and I just need to be still. Psalm 23 is one that has also come before me multiple times this week. God is keeping Scripture in the forefront of my mind to show me He is with me. Doc received the ultimate healing from cancer and is living the ultimate life in heaven. Rickey received the ultimate healing from COVID and is living the ultimate life in heaven. My time has not come for the ultimate healing and until it does I need to allow God to be Who He desires to be in my life so I can be who He desires me to be. This morning God took me to Psalm 19 to remind that Yahweh's Word is perfect in every way; how it revives our souls! (TPT) Praise His Holy Name! It continues that His teachings are right and make us joyful... Woo hoo! Yes the tears are still going to fall. As time goes on, they will fall less often. I know that from experience with Doc leaving this earth. More and more the happy memories will take over the sadness. Joy will come again. Everyone grieves differently. There is no set time for grieving and perhaps it never really ends. One just learns how to function in their new role. After Doc left I learned how to function as a widow. I did not like doing life alone and soon God brought Rickey into my life. Ours was a different relationship with being seven hundred miles apart but we made a lot of memories every time we were together. We had great dreams of marrying and having a home in South Carolina and a home in Ohio. He told me of places he wanted to take me that he had traveled to during his USO tours. His time in the Holy Land was very short on one of the tours and I shared with him about our trip there. We planned on visiting together. So many plans. So many dreams. So many hopes. I do not understand 'why' they never happened but I do not have to understand. All I have to do is trust God and allow Him to restore my joy.
Dear Jesus, Thank You for yesterday being a little easier in my emotions! Thank You for the memories You brought before me of both Doc and Rickey throughout the day! Thank You for my time with Marion as we made Christmas ornaments! Thank You for breakfast with Andy and for the conversation and laughter! Thank You for blessing my sister Linda today on her birthday! Thank You for being with all who are traveling over the holidays! Thank You for cleansing me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You! May Your ooze out of my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts today in a mighty way. May people see/hear You instead of me. Lord, my heart breaks for so many dealing with COVID. It seems like it hangs on forever. May You be the healing balm and the deep breaths needed in their lives. I pray Your peace over many going through 'tough' days. I pray You will continue to be with Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself on this journey without Rickey with us. I pray Your peace over: My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Cyndi; Daniel; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Ashley's father-in-law; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; Tammie; and Little Ivy. I pray Your peace over Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. Thank You for being My Restorer of Joy! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment