One week ago today my Rickey took his last breath on earth. Another loss is hard to understand yet I know God has a plan. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a season For everything that happens in life. We may not understand those seasons but God does. I do not understand the 'why?' our time together was so short but I do know we accomplished a lot during it. We made a lot of memories and laughed a lot. God used Rickey to restore laughter back into my life. From what I have been told God used me to restore love back into his life. We never know how long we have with those we love. Last night I took the boys to look at Christmas lights Doc and I always went to see. I was thinking about how much we enjoyed going to the boat parade at Christmas and driving around the neighborhoods. Rickey and I never had the opportunity to do that and it makes me sad. We never had the opportunity to celebrate Christmas which was a favorite time of year for both of us. I bought a Christmas ornament for each of our trees that has our names on it with a hand painted Mr and Mrs Santa Claus. He said if we were rich we would be Mr and Mrs Claus. He had such a huge heart. Sometimes to a fault. Last night Mr Eli said, "Why do people you love keep dying? First, Doc. Then Mordecei. Now him." Another 'why?' I can't answer. But praise God I don't have to know the answer. All I have to do is trust God and allow Him to love on me in the healing process. Verse four reads: A time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to dance. This time of mourning is one that has to happen. Tears have to fall. But as I know from previous experience there will come a time when laughter comes easier and dancing returns. God is a faithful God who loves me dearly. He puts people before me to love on me. Praise His Holy Name! Solomon wrote these words for all to realize life changes. We need to embrace the changes God puts before us and focus on what He desires of us. He will empower us through changes as we allow Him. I am so sad I will never hear my Rickey's voice again or make more memories with him. But I cannot allow my sadness to take away the joy God has for me. I am jealous he is already in heaven but I cannot allow my longing to be there to take my focus off of what God has left for me to do on this earth. I am thankful for the thirty plus years I had with Doc and I am thankful for the few months I had with Rickey. Yesterday someone said 'the harder we love, the harder we grieve.' How true. A song Chris Tomlin sings called "Thank You" came on and reminded me of a time I shared it with Rickey. I told him I knew it wasn't his style of music but asked him to listen to the words. He loved the beginning of it...
Thank You Lord for the small things
Like me and her on the porch swing
For summer nights and fireflies
And the sound of my old six string
Blessings, on blessings, on blessings, on blessings
If I still got breath in these lungs
And that's all I need to get down on my knees
And be thankful for all that He's done
He especially loved this part as he loved and miss his Momma so much and had so many friends in life from all over the world. His love for his children and grandchildren was in abundance but became greater as he allowed God to love through him. I am so thankful he loved me and we changed each other's worlds.
For my mama, for my friends
For Your love that never ends
For the songs that make us dance
On this ol' dirt floor
For my babies, for my girl
For the way they changed my world
Waking up today
Yeah, I just gotta say
Thank You Lord
Yeah, I just wanna say
Thank You Lord (oh, now)
Dear Jesus, Thank You for my time with Mr Eli and Mr Jimmy last night shopping, eating, and looking at Christmas lights! Thank You for continuing to protect Mr Eli with his health issues! Thank You for Chrissy and Carol who dropped off gifts yesterday and most of all for their love! Thank You for people who sent cards, texts, emails, etc.! Thank You for all the ways You show Your love to me! Father, I pray continued strength over Anna, Michael, Matt, and myself as we go through these days of adjusting to not having Rickey with us. May we all feel Your love. I pray for a cleansing in my spirit so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May people see/hear You instead of me today. I pray Your peace over many going through difficult days. My Momma; my sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; Tony and Madeline; Cait; Mike; Norma Hall; Carrie; Little Jensen who needs a heart; many with COVID; Sharon Sebolt; the Pottenger Family; Serena's husband; some young ladies with anxiety; a man in rehab for anger issues; a young man out of rehab who needs strength in his daily walk; a husband/father separated from his wife; Wanda; Cyndi; Melissa; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many who are dealing with 'c'...Doug and Gay; Sharon's daughter Ashley and niece Amy; Chrissy's cousin; George and Sharon; Cait's friend with leukemia; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Elaine Stoltzfus; and Little Ivy. Lord, be with Little Richie and his family as he is having issues. I pray Your strong presence in Tammie as she has the lumpectomy today and Steve Curless with his surgery Monday. I pray for Jennifer's coworker whose mother appears to be in her last days on this earth. I pray continued healing over Billie's foot and wisdom for Rhonda with her situation. Thank You Father for always being there for us! I am so grateful for Who You are in my life and the way You guide me! Thank You for being My Past, Present, and Future! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment