What a long night. It seemed like I was awake every other hour. I would wake up, look at the clock, pray for God's peace, and go back to sleep. That process happened so many times I lost count. Why is it that when you are facing something such as a doctor's appointment and you know God is with you, you still go through such an experience? I know God already knows the outcome. He already knows what the oncologist is going to say. I know He will give us strength for whatever lies in the days ahead. So why is there still anxiousness? Several times during the night I asked God why Doc hasn't received a healing on this earth as so many are praying for. I asked Him why Ron had to die yesterday. It doesn't make sense to me that His servants would be taken when they still had so much to give. My heart breaks for Kathy. I could not stop crying when we received the news. Another great man taken from 'C' and the question 'why?' continues to come into my mind. I'm tired of 'C' taking lives. I know we all have to die but why does it have to be in such a painful way? I guess I'm getting good at saying 'why?' today. I'm just tired which makes me emotional. I have to be on my toes today so I do not become crabby. God has blessed me in abundance in that area and I sure don't want to go backward. This morning He has these words on my heart...
Waymaker
Miracle WorkerPromise Keeper
Light in the darkness
My God
That is who You are
Yes! He is all of these things to me. He answers my prayers. Sometimes not in the way or time I desire but He answers them. Yesterday morning He clearly told me He was "excited to see the miracle unfold in the procedure today! I can't wait to hear their testimony." This was when I was praying for Carl's heart cath. I received a message a bit later there were no blockages. Then a few minutes later received the message there was even blood getting to his heart through a previously by-passed artery. Now that was God working! I was so blessed to read Kim's post after the procedure. God is not finished with performing miracles. He performs them every day when I wake up. Throughout every day there are miracles done around us. I can't get upset over Him not answering all of my prayers in the way I desire. He knows what is best. That is where trust and faith come into play. I must stand upon II Timothy 1:7 in His empowerment so I can love as He desires. I am also standing upon Proverbs 3:5-6 to be with us especially throughout this day as we go to the oncologist. Philippians 4:13 stays close to my heart as I stand in His strength to face whatever is ahead. I will not continue to pray for a miraculous healing for my husband while he is on this earth. I will remember what Doc says, 'as long as there is breath there is hope.'
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your empowerment to not just get through this day but to shine brightly for You through it! Father, I'm physical tired and emotionally worn. I need You in a mighty way today to keep my mind sharp and my focus on You. I pray Doc will also feel Your empowerment today in a new, different way. Cleanse me right now so You can fill me. May You ooze out of my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts in a mighty way. May You be greater than the hurts of my heart. I pray for peace for: Kathy and her family; Brenda's family; Linda; Lee and Teresa; a family in turmoil; a marriage that continues to crumble; Wanda with her granddaughter's health; and so many others who are struggling. I pray for continued strength for: Tracy; Mark; my pastor friend battling C; Dave and Gwen; Mike; Paula; Norma; my Momma; Craig; Vance and Jeannie; Mrs. Adams; and so many others who are having physical battles yet strong in their faith. I also pray for protection over children in abusive homes who are not getting the love at school they were use to getting. Father, thank You for the beauty of Your nature that blesses me daily. Thank You for the gorgeous weather we are having! Thank You for the deer that walked across the back yard yesterday! Thank You for letting me be a part of the miracle with Carl and Kim yesterday! Thank You for my four-legged buddy who is staying close to Doc during these tough days! You are so awesome in all the ways You bless me! Thank You for being My Light in The Darkness! Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment