II Timothy 1:7 - "Move (Keep Walking')

  

Yesterday was too long of a day with Doc's Pet Scan in the morning and then going right to another doctor's appointment. With everything else going on, I was exhausted by the time I laid down in the evening. The day ahead today will be another hard one with the follow-up appointment with the oncologist. I feel like I am barely surviving. I do not know how people who do have the Lord's strength get through such times. It is all I can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. The words to a song TobyMac sings are going through my mind...

I know your heart been broke again 
I know your prayers ain't been answered yet
I know you're feeling like you got nothing left
Well, lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet so
Move, keep walkin'
Soldier keep movin' on
Move, keep walkin' until the mornin' comes 
Move, keep walkin'
Soldier keep movin' on
And lift your head, it ain't over yet, ain't over yet

Doc said last night that he dreads this appointment today because we have not had good news at any appointment yet. We've prayed. Thousands of others have prayed. Yet we continue to go down this nasty road with this pot hole that is so huge it is swallowing us up.  I told Doc last night that we cannot allow the enemy to win. We must speak words of life and continue to lean on the Lord. If we do not, this journey will be even worse than it already is. There is no explanation for this journey but God can use it to be glorified. We must dig our heals in deeper into our faith and walk in His Peace. My physical body is exhausted and hurting. My emotional body is broken. My mental body is still functioning but not at full capacity. I am so grateful school is over. My financial body is struggling but being blessed by people who have showed His love to us. My spiritual body needs fed more and more each day. I am so grateful for God being with us. I also am grateful for the revelation that He gave me about II Timothy 1:7 a few weeks ago. He revealed how the last part of the verse means to live in His will. If I were not living in His will, I would have gave up a long time ago. He is my strength, my empowerment, and my peace. The only way I can realize that in its fullest is by living in His will and walking the road of obedience each and every moment of the day.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for all the blessings from yesterday and the ones ahead in this day. Thank You for the great news about Richie's chemo! Thank You for being with Dale with his chemo and Kandi with her testing! Thank You for being my physical strength through the long day yesterday! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me. Go before me today and be my words, actions, and attitude throughout this day. May people see/hear You instead of me. May You bless us as we receive the results from the oncologist from all Doc's tests. May the results be favorable in that the cancer is contained. May You give the doctors and us wisdom on this journey. Father, we need a miracle. We need to feel Your presence greater than we ever have before. Open us up to more of You. Thank You Jesus for being Our Mover! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Your Love Defends Me"

Throughout the night when I woke, I prayed for Doc and these tough days. The lyrics to a song Matt Mahrer sings were in my mind every time...

Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me

Day after day, night after night
I will remember, You're with me in this fight
Although the battle, it rages on
The war is already won
I know the war is already won

Doc had such a horrible night with pain. This is so hard to go through. I am thankful for the reminder that God's love is with us. It 'defends me' through the junk of life. He never leaves us but instead is fighting this battle we are going through. It still is so hard to believe I went through a battle with C and now Doc is going through one. It just does not make sense. As I told Doc last evening it is going to be OK. God is with us. He already knows the outcome of this situation. No matter what the results of today's Pet Scan, it will be OK. If they are 'bad,' He will get us through. If they are 'good,' we will rejoice. But no matter what the results are we will love Him and not quit leaning into His strength. C is not something we would have chosen but we will choose God to get through it. We must remember God is not the One who spoke this disease over us. I have heard the diagnosis out of four different doctors mouth over the last three weeks but I have not heard it from God. Once again, I am rebuking it. I am standing in the knowledge that God heals and will heal Doc. I truly believe his healing will come in life and not death. I am also standing on that. God has given me a peace throughout these days. I still have my times of tears. I still have my times of being tired and drained, especially when I watch him in pain and struggling. But I have a peace that has replaced the fear the enemy was putting upon me. No matter what is ahead, it's OK. "Although the battle, it rages on...The war is already won." God knows the ending to this journey. Woo hoo! He knows. I do not have to know because He knows.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the encouragement I felt from the doctor in Charleston yesterday. Thank You for the care everyone at his office, including him, gave. Thank You for safe travels and Doc being able to drive. Thank You for the appointment today for the Pet Scan. Father, I pray You will give Doc exactly what he needs to get through these tough days. Cleanse us so You can fill us. That is what we both need to lean into You instead of allowing the enemy to put fear into our spirits. Lord, be with Jennifer who is in the military and lost so many fellow soldiers to suicide. May she draw near to You for comfort and strength. Be with her as she makes decisions with her career. I also continue to pray for Jim and family with the loss of Sandie; Tim and Connie with his accident; Mike with his wife's alcoholism; Kandi as she is going through testing; and two pastor friends going through tough days. Lord, may You be so real to each one of these ones. I was so blessed last night to hear of an answer to my prayers for one of the families I have been praying for. Thank You Jesus for being The One To Defend Me! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7; II Corinthians 12:7-10 - "Fear Is A Liar"

II Timothy 1:7 tells us God does not makes us be fearful. Instead He makes us strong in Him. The enemy is the one who causes fear. This morning a song Zach Williams sings is going through my mind...

When he told you you're not strong enough
To put up a good fight...

Fear he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
Cause fear he is a liar

When the enemy tries to make me believe I cannot put one foot in front of the other, God is there to encourage me. When the fear of what the doctor will say creeps in, God is there to remind me it does not matter what the doctor says. The doctor is not the Author of our lives, God is. When the 'what ifs' start going through my mind, God is there to tell me there are no 'what ifs' in His mind. He knows the outcome of this situation. When people start telling the horror stories of what they have seen or know from experience with a loved one with cancer, God is there to comfort. I do not understand why anyone does that but I do know the enemy will use anyone and anything he can to tear us down. It is no coincidence that God has me praying about this subject this morning and our dear friend Kim sent us II Corinthians 12:7-10 from The Message. It ends with, "And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." Woo hoo! Thank You Jesus for the way You use Your Word and friends to be such an encouragement!

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for Your Word that encourages me so much! Thank You for friends who encourage us! Thank You for cards from Rikki, Wanda, Momma Ruth and Brian yesterday. Thank You for Kim sharing Your Word this morning! Lord, cleanse us so You can fill us today. May You go before us and ooze out of us. May You protect us on our trip to Charleston; give the doctor wisdom; and give us clarity in our thinking. Father, thank You for answered prayers yesterday with the one family situation. I pray they will continue to be blessed today with what they are dealing with. Thank You for Doc being able to go to last night's Activities. I also pray for those who have lost their homes and possessions in the storms to feel Your presence. I pray for healing in Tim's body from his accident. Be with him and Connie during these tough days. I pray for a pastor friend who is going through a tough time. May he and his family feel Your presence in their situation. May they feel Your healing touch. Lord, be with Chloe's family as they travel. May You be with the children in these last days of school. I pray for the children who are not looking forward to summer because they will not have school meals. May people be put before them who will provide. I pray for the Momma who is without food for her children today to be blessed by people. Father, there are so many people going through tough times. I pray they will feel Your love. Continue to love on Jim and his family with their great loss and Paula with the loss of her sister. Thank You Jesus for being Our Strength! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Always"

  

I am so grateful for having some time to be at our 'happy place' yesterday. Even though it wasn't a long time, we made some great memories. People need to realize how important it is to take the time to do such things. We never know when life will change. Yesterday there were a few prayer requests brought to me where people are going through changes. One was with a death of a loved one, one with the loss of a job, a family who are going through a horrible experience, a family torn apart by alcohol, and another with a health situation that is tearing a family apart. As I was praying for each one, my heart broke for the ones where God was not involved in the situations. The ones who are relying on God through their circumstances are tough but not near as what they would be without God. We have peace in the storms of life when we allow Him to give it to us. We have His strength as we allow Him to empower us. We do not have to fear our future as we lean into Him. We can be assured He knows the end of our story. Sometimes our end may mean leaving this earth but if we stop and think about it we will be living with Him forever. Woo hoo! Yes, it will mean leaving our loved ones but it will only be temporary. As they live for Him on this earth, they too will join Him for eternity. There is sadness in our hearts to be separated from them but there is also joy in our spirits in knowing He is in control. It is sad to see situations where children are involved. Oh how I pray for protection over them. I pray for people to quit being selfish and turn their lives over to the Lord. I pray for them to realize they need to allow Him to be their King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the time we had yesterday at Hunting Island. Thank You for the strength You gave Doc to have that time. Father, just as we prayed yesterday, this week is in Your hands. The appointment in Charleston on Wednesday; the appointment with the doctor about the port on Thursday; and the appointment with the oncologist Friday. All of these are in Your hands. We pray for Your strength through them. We need physical, mental, emotional, financial, and most of all spiritual strength. I also pray for favor over this application for assistance I am turning into the hospital today. Your will, Lord, Your will. That is what I am seeking. May You cleanse me so You can fill me today. May people see/hear You instead of me. May You be greater than me in all my words, actions, and attitude throughout this day so You will shine from me. May people know You are living in me. May You ooze out of me in a new, different way. Father, I pray again for these situations You brought before me yesterday. I pray especially for protection over the children involved in a couple of them. Thank You Jesus for being Our Always! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Lift Me Up"

I woke up this morning with these words going through my mind...

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me 
So I'm letting go
You lift me up when I can't see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me 
So I'm letting go

I thought about this song and wondered about what the Lord was telling me. Have I not 'let go' of everything in my life? What am I holding onto? Is it Doc's diagnosis? Am I not trusting Him with it? I think I am but maybe I'm not. I know it's in the Lord's hands. He knows the outcome. I also know I feel it in my spirit that he will be healed on this earth and not in death. I struggle with 'getting things in order' because I feel like that is showing I do not believe God will heal him. I do not like to talk about the 'what ifs' because I do not want to give the enemy any open door. I try to speak life in all situations. God does not cause confusion. The enemy does. Therefore, I will pray for clarity throughout these tough days. I prayed for clarity with my Final Exam and there was some but not what I would have liked. But it is over and for that I am thankful. Yesterday when I made my final post I felt such freedom. I know the only way I got through these last few weeks was through God's strength. It has only been nineteen days since we received the call about the mass on his pancreas. That is not a long time yet these days seem so long. Yesterday was a very long day with such pain. I don't know if it was because he was up so long with Sunday School, church, and lunch or what but I do know it is hard to watch him in horrendous pain like that. I feel so helpless. As I look to the week ahead, it will be a long one with appointments. Wednesday in Charleston, Thursday in Beaufort, and then Friday back to oncologist to go over all the test results. I know it will only be through God's strength that we stay able to focus on Him.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for all the ways You encourage us. Thank You for all who are praying for us. It was such a blessing to hear of many churches who prayed specifically for us yesterday; Carl who stood in Doc's place for prayer in Ohio; and my classmate who called last night from California. God You are so good at providing exactly what we need, when we need it. Thank You for my class being done. Thank You for Doc being able to preach yesterday. Thank You for cleansing us today so You can fill us with more of Your love. Thank You for having us leave early yesterday. If we would not have, we would not have been able to help the lady whose truck was broke down at the post office. I pray for her husband who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I pray she felt Your love through us as we prayed and hugged her. Lord, that is what we want to do today. We want people to see/hear You through our words, actions, and attitude. I don't know if we will leave our house today but I pray even if it is through the internet You will shine through us. I do pray Doc feels up to getting out today but if not, Lord bless us as we do whatever You desire. Thank You Jesus for being Our Strength! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Confidence"

Before bed and again once during the night God had me praying for pastors. The only one specifically was Doc. He had such pain last night even with the pain pills. I prayed with him before going to sleep for the pain to ease and for him to get a good night's rest. When I was waken during the night to pray, he seemed to be resting comfortably and I praised God for that. I also asked God to bless him so he would be able to preach today. I am grateful he has realized he has to do it sitting but he can still do it with God's strength. I also am grateful the congregation is ok with him sitting. I continue to pray for a healing in his body. I pray for strength for both of us as we go through these difficult days. Someone asked the other day why God allows 'bad' things to happen to 'good' people. I do not believe God differentiates between 'bad' and 'good' people. If He would, then I would say He allows things to happen to those who will go stronger in their faith. He loves everyone, not just those who walk with Him. 

II Timothy 1:7 has taken on new meaning to me. A few weeks ago I read in a commentary that the last part means walking in obedience to His will. I loved this way of thinking. I do not have to fear anything on this earth because I know where I will spend eternity. I can live in His empowerment to conquer anything as I walk in obedience to His will. God is greater than C. He is greater than anything the enemy throws our way. He is greater than any negative words spoken over us. Plain and simple. He is greater. I am praying for pastors to realize this today as they go to their churches to proclaim the Good News. I am praying for them to understand they have nothing to fear. I also am praying for pastors...

...whose churches are struggling financially, God will provide. 
...who have people in their congregations who are speaking doom over them, God is greater. 
...who have health issues and/or their spouses or children have health issues, God is with them and desires to heal them.
...who are confused over if they are doing what God desires of them, God is not the father of confusion as satan is but is the Father of Clarity.
...who are struggling with blatant sin, God desires them to repent and be reconciled back into pure relationship with Him.
...who need to turn over every aspect of life to Him, He is ready to cleanse and fill them.
...who are fighting a battle of any sort to realize He desires for them to live in His Confidence.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for some 'normalcy' yesterday with a trip to the meat market and a meal at the table. Thank You for the words of encouragement from a friend that prompted us to draw closer to You. Thank You for the song another friend sent to encourage us to draw closer to You. Lord, I believe Your desire is to heal Doc. I do not know how this will happen but I know it will. I also believe it will happen through life not death. "On earth as it is in heaven" is my prayer. Thank You Father! I also believe You desire to cleanse us so You can fill us. You have called us to be Your servants and we want to continue to be faithful. Lord, bless my prayers for pastors. May all pastors feel Your presence in their spirits today. May they walk in Your will and be the mouthpiece You have called them to be. Thank You Father for being with me yesterday with my Final Exam. I greatly disliked not being able to remember which made my grade ugly but it is over and for that I am grateful. One more post and the class will be done. Thank You for getting me through these last few weeks with the class and all that is going on with Doc's health. Father, I continue to pray for wisdom for doctors but most of all I pray for You to be glorified through this diagnosis for him. Thank You Father for being My Confidence! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "God Only Knows"

The two times I woke up during the night and then again this morning the words to a song King & Country sings were in my head...

God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows

I thought about how hard it is for people not in relationship with God to comprehend His love. It is not like any love that a human can give. We need to strive to have His love to share with others but we cannot completely be successful in doing so. The closer we are in relationship with Him, the closer we will be to having His love. If we want to be His love, we must live a life of obedience to Him. That means saying 'yes' when it doesn't make sense. It means walking by faith through the trials of life with His peace. It means allowing Him to be greater than the fear of C. It means having His words, actions, and attitude no matter what the circumstances. Then, and only then, will His love ooze out of us. When I saw the gleam in our waitress' eyes yesterday morning at the end of my prayer with her, I knew she saw God through me. Yesterday afternoon when I finished praying with my friend at the assisted living home and I heard another lady say 'amen' I was touched how God blessed me. Communication with Him is key if one desires relationship with Him. If I am not communicating with Him, I lose focus on what He desires of me. I am so thankful for my relationship with Him. I know He is always here for me and He knows He can depend upon me to do whatever opportunity He gives me.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the strength You gave Doc yesterday to finish his sermon, be able to pick the boys up after school, and have dinner at the table. It was nice to have some 'normalcy' even though I know he was in pain. Father, continue to strengthen us through these tough days. May You cleanse us daily so You can fill us so our focus will stay on You. Thank You for loving on us through people's words of encouragement. Thank You for continuing to watch over our finances. I pray for favor with the application for assistance I completed. I also pray for recollection as I take my Final Exam this morning. Lord, no matter what I know You are with me and for that I am grateful. Father, be with my friend Kim as she travels to Maine; Jim as he continues to go through his grieving process; those out west who went through the tornadoes and now flooding; those in our area who will seek relief at the water today to be smart with sunscreen and staying hydrated; Peggy as she has her MRI today; and pastors who are finishing up their sermons today. At 2:08AM You woke me to pray for bi-vocational pastors who will not have today to enjoy their families but instead be preparing for tomorrow's services. Bless them in abundance as they sacrifice for You. I pray they will have keen ears to hear from You today. Thank You Jesus for being Always! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Blessings"

Yesterday was just too hard of a day. It was long. It was emotional. It was just too hard. When the nurse thanked us for being so nice about the wait, my thought was it wasn't his fault so why would we not be nice. But then the other one said something about us always being nice. She knew because she had a history with us. I felt so good because I knew God was showing through us. I believe God had a reason for the two hour delay. I may never know the reason but that doesn't matter. Perhaps it was because the elderly lady on the other side of the curtain needed to go first for her procedure. Or perhaps He wanted us to realize we needed to lean into His strength more. Or maybe it was for people to see Him through our attitude. I may not know the reason but I do know I'm grateful for the way we handled the delay. I'm also grateful for the ten hours of sleep last night after such a day. Another thing I'm grateful for this morning is there are no doctor appointments today. Next Wednesday, Thursday, Friday each have one. There are also two others suppose to be completed before next Friday. With Monday being a holiday, the schedule may fill up fast. I have a choice to make. 

I can panic or I can accept His peace. 

I can fret over the 'what ifs' or I can accept His peace.

I can worry over the future or I can put it in His hands and have peace.

I am choosing Him and His peace.

No God = No Peace

Know God = Know Peace

I am standing on the promises of His Word. I will not be fearful because He made me to have His empowerment, His love, and to live in His will. He made me to listen and walk in obedience. He made me to be strong in Him.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead in this day. Thank You for Tiffany mowing our yard yesterday. Thank You for Amy's hug. Thank You for giving us physical strength for the day. Father, cleanse us so You can fill us. I pray for people to see/hear You through me today. Lord, here it is Friday and my Final Exam still has not been studied for properly let alone be taken. Please enable me to focus on this task to complete it. I also pray for recollection when I do take it. I pray for Doc to not have so much pain today, especially with the procedure site. I pray for him as he puts his sermon together. Lord, give Paul, Lizzy, and Bella safe travels and favor over them this weekend with their endeavor to find a new home. Thank You Father for loving us so greatly and continually blessing us. Thank You for being Our Everything! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Worn"; "Confidence"

Another night of little sleep. I'm so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. As I went through the stack of doctor bills last night, I guess I am financially exhausted too. I feel like I just do not want to go through this day. I am "Worn" out. The words to Tenth Avenue North's song come to my mind this morning...

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing...

There is a part that goes...

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

This is the point I am at this morning. I am crying out to God to empower me with His supernatural strength for these tough days. One time I woke up during the night from a horrible nightmare. I laid for a long time asking God to not let it be how my day goes today. I prayed for Him to bless all the people praying for us and for His will to be a complete healing for Doc. I asked Him to bless us with that sooner than later. I don't think I am asking too much but maybe I am. I thought I was strong but I feel like that is not so. In my mind I know He has everything under control but just as Mike said in Sunday School in our humanness we still fret. I don't want to give the enemy an open door into this situation. I must stay strong in my faith. I think of the words from "Confidence" and will strive to live them out throughout this day...

I'm not a warrior, I'm too afraid to lose
I feel unqualified for what You're calling me to
But Lord with Your strength, I've got no excuse
'Cause broken people are exactly who You use

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense
So I can face my giants with confidence

I'm gonna sing and shout and shake the walls
I won't stop until I see them fall
I'm gonna stand up, step out when You call
Jesus, Jesus

Can I be a warrior with this situation? YES, with His empowerment! 
Can I face the giant of pancreatic cancer in Doc? YES, with His empowerment!
Can I "sing and shout and shake the walls" today? YES, with His empowerment!

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for continuing to encourage us through these dark days! Thank You for people who are praying for us! Thank You for Tiffany who brought over a meal and gift card! Thank You for Paul's exciting news yesterday! Thank You for giving Doc strength to accomplish two projects yesterday! Thank You for giving me clarity to make a post yesterday and fill out paperwork! Thank You for getting two appointments set-up for Doc! Thank You for all the  times of rest we had yesterday! Thank You for the words of encouragement from Mike. Father, there is so much to thank You for. I pray today for the doctors and all involved in the biopsy to have wisdom. I pray the results will be Your will. I pray Your will is that it has not spread. I pray for You to cleanse us so You can fill us. That is the only way we will be a beacon of light with Your love oozing out of us throughout this day. May You be greater than us. I also pray for Jim and his family with Sandie's service today. My heart breaks for them. I wish I could be with them to show them support but am grateful this biopsy is being done quickly. Today was the day I thought I would take my Final but I do not see that happening. Lord, I need clarity and I need time to study. I pray You will continue to guide us and love on us through so many people. Thank You for being Our Empowerment! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Confidence"

I don't understand...I don't know 'why'...I don't have any answers as to why God would bring us so far from family, not complete getting the congregation into a church building, etc. only to hear the words we heard yesterday. "Stage 3/4 Pancreatic Cancer...biopsy...port... chemo...wrapped around an artery no inoperable..." As I drove us home, throughout the night, and again this morning the words to "Confidence" were going through my mind...

So give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense
So I can face my giants with confidence

This is the biggest giant we have ever faced. I think of all the giants my Momma and Daddy faced and how they got through them but I don't know if I have it in me. I know I have to. I know I must be a fighter but I just don't know. 

I want to have "faith like Daniel"...
I want to have "hope like Moses"... 
I want to "a heart like David"...
I want have "confidence"...

Now I just need to find God's supernatural strength to do it. I will not quit praying for a miracle. I will believe God will not take my best friend away from me this soon in life. I will do as he has asked to get things in order but I will not give up praying. None of us know when our last day on earth will be. As long as we are on this earth, we need to be sharing His love with all we meet. We cannot allow C to be a distraction for what He has called us to do and who He has called us to be. We must stay focused on Christ and not on C. We must allow people to love on us with His love. We must allow His wisdom to be ours as decisions are made. We must not allow the enemy an open door. We must allow God to be in control more so than ever. We must remember that He did not give us a spirit to be afraid...instead He empowers us to love and walk in His will. 

It's ok to question Him about situations such as life. It is even ok to be angry for them but we must never sin in our anger. I don't feel anger but I sure feel sad. I am numb. I am in shock. I have so many questions including 'why' that I may or may not receive the answers for. I will say it much easier to minister to someone going through such situations than to be going through it ourselves.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for the way You have been with us and will continue to be with us through this ordeal. Just as Doc prayed last night, we rebuke it. We believe You can and will heal. Until that time comes, we pray for Your wisdom. There are so many things going through our minds. Lord, give clarity as we make decisions and as doctors make decisions. Cleanse us so You can fill us so we can continue to do and be what You desire. Father, my heart hurts. I don't think I could possibly have any more tears. I need to be strong but the only way that will happen is to lean into You more. Sorry if I knock you over...LOL! Lord, please, please, please keep my M.S. at check. The stress of this situation could easily put me into an exacerbation but I'm begging You to not allow that. Father, thank You for giving Billie and Scott wisdom in the decision with her health. May You continue to bless them and their family. Lord, today is a new day but we have this 'cloud' hanging over us. Would You put people in our path who will bring Your love to us? Would You give us special times together where we could have some 'normalcy'? Lord, help us... Oh Lord, this hurts so bad. Enable me to praise You...empower me to be strong...embrace us with Your love. I pray You will give me wisdom and clarity as I try to study to take my Final Exam. Thank You Jesus for being Our Hope! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Stand In Your Love"

The words to a song Josh Baldwin sings were going through my mind at 4AM and again when I awoke. It was a great reminder of what I need to do today...stand in God's love.

'Cause my fear doesn't stand a chance
When I stand in Your love

I love how God encourages me so much. Last night was so much fun with the JOY group. The laughter was great for my spirit. The fellowship was just what I needed. I was tired and hurting when I got home but I fell into bed with a smile on my face.  This song starts out...

When darkness tries to roll over my bones
When sorrow comes to steal the joy I own
When brokenness and pain is all I know
Oh, I won't be shaken, no, I won't be shaken

Woo hoo! "I won't be shaken" are tough words to live out but they are necessary. The joy God puts in my spirit needs to be lived out through not only the 'good days' but also the 'bad days.' People need to see my faith being lived out in days where my world is falling apart around me. God desires to be My Rock every moment of every day. He desires for me to live in His strength. All I have to do is allow Him to do so. That used to be hard because I tried to manipulate things in life to get the outcome I desired. I am so thankful I no longer live such a life. God is in control. He knows what we will happen at the oncologist appointment this afternoon. He knows what will happen following the appointment. He knows everything and we must trust Him as we live out His will. I know what I want to happen and I pray it is His will that it does happen but no matter what I will trust Him. He is going to prepare a miracle in this situation. Some time, some day. Whether that is today or not remains to be seen.

Dear Jesus,
Thank You for all the ways You encourage me through Your love. Thank You for the fun time last night. Thank You for the appointment this afternoon where I pray we receive good news but Father the best news of all is that You are in control of this situation. May You empower us to accept and live out whatever lies ahead. In order for us to do that, we need our spirits cleansed so You can fill us with more of You. Father, give us clarity as we listen to what the doctor says, give us strength as we grasp what is said, and give us grateful hearts for whatever the outcome is. Lord, I pray for Doc to not have such intense pain today as yesterday. I pray for Your Spirit to overpower the fear of this situation. Lord, I also pray for Jim and his family as they go through these first days since Sandie left this earth. May You be the balm that soothes their spirits. Thank You for being Our Rock. Amen.

Psalm 40; II Timothy 1:7 - "Best News Ever"

The Lord reminded me this morning that we have nothing to fear as we wait on Doc's appointment tomorrow. He reminded me that many are not in the same shoes as we are. We know He is in control. We know He is with us, no matter what. We have confidence that He will not leave us. He also woke me up with an urgency to read Psalm 40. This Psalm is one that reiterates the need for people to have such confidence in God. In verses one through five, we read about how He brings us out of the pits of hell when we call upon Him. He takes away the fear of dying as we know where we will spend eternity. David speaks of how it is important to never stop believing in Christ. We must never give up hope nor quit praying. But what about those who do not know Him? How do they get through tough times without Hope? Who do they pray to? They have no hope without the True Hope. That saddens me to the depth of my heart. The only way people will come to know Him is for believers to share Him. Verses nine and ten tell believers what they are to do...

I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness
In the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,
O Lord, You Yourself know.

I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth
From the great assembly.

We are to share His love with others. The best way to do that is to live in His presence so He can ooze out of us. Oh how I pray for people to experience His love through me. I pray they will see my peace in the midst of the storms of life and desire the same. In the New King James Version, Psalm 40 is entitled "Faith Persevering in Trial." Wow, God! I love how He takes me to exactly what I need to read. He knows what is going on and He knows what I need to be encouraged through it. David feared life because he knew he was not right with God. When we are right with God, we have nothing to fear. The other day when Doc shared that he wasn't afraid to die he had one say something to him about if you had a clear conscience that would make sense. This Psalm takes it further than a clear conscience. It takes us to the point that when we live a life of faith, we do not have to fear life nor death. I like what Matthew Henry writes about the last verses of Psalm 40:

"If Christ has triumphed over our spiritual enemies, then we, through him, shall be more than conquerors.This may encourage all that seek God and love his salvation, to rejoice in him, and to praise him. No griefs nor poverty can render those miserable who fear the Lord. Their God, and all that he has or does, is the ground of their joy. The prayer of faith can unlock his fulness, which is adapted to all their wants. The promises are sure, the moment of fulfilment hastens forward. He who once came in great humility, shall come again in glorious majesty."

God is our Joy. He is our Fullness. He is the One who holds today and holds our tomorrows. We have nothing to fear. All we have to do is live by faith that no matter what lies ahead He is with us and will direct us. He will give us His wisdom with decisions, His empowerment with physical strength, and His joy in times of darkness.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for blessing Doc yesterday with being able to preach. Father, his pain was so bad last night. I pray it will be less today. I pray You will empower him to go deeper in his faith through this trial. Father, You know the concerns on his heart. May You give him peace and wisdom. I pray for a cleansing in our spirits so we can be filled with more of You today. May You open our eyes to opportunities You put before us today. May those opportunities make a difference in people's lives who do not know You. Father, my heart breaks for Jim and his family with Sandie's death. May they have comfort in knowing she has been given a stroke-free body. May they feel the prayers of many being offered up for them to have strength through these tough days. Thank You Jesus for being Our Best News Ever! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Best News Ever"

What a night of praying for pastors...wow, God! I went to bed at 10PM and prayed until 11:30 for not only pastors but for the people who would hear their sermons this morning. I prayed for those people to not only hear the sermons but to respond to them. I prayed for people who had not been to church for a while to go and for those who go to have a godly attitude. The Lord had me pray for 'crabby' people to be joyful. I almost laughed at loud at that prayer. I prayed I was not one He had me praying for in that area. Sometimes people, circumstances, etc. can get us down but we should never let it steal our joy. I prayed for my pastor/husband for healing in his body and for strength to preach today. I pray he did not overdo yesterday by going to the store with me. I prayed for him to have peace as we wait for Tuesday's appointment. Throughout the night He woke me to pray several times...

1:37AM for a specific pastor. He did not give me details other than to pray for him. 

2:22AM for another specific pastor. Once again, no details other than to pray for him.

4:37AM for Scott and Billie as they make decisions with her health.

5:14AM for Doc and our church board with decisions about the building. So many times it seems like major decisions come down to finances. I prayed for our church body to become stronger spiritually so God can use us to make a difference in our little world.

I had another hour before the clock went off but instead got up and prayed some more. 

• A man called to pastor yet has walked away with a hurt ego has been heavy in my prayers over the last couple of weeks. 
• God brought to my prayers a Children's Pastor whose resignation is being announced today. She is so concerned over how the children will take the announcement. I prayed for peace in her situation.
• A church body that is voting today to merge with another church.
• Retired pastors and spouses who feel like they have no place in life.
• Pastors who had Brother Dan and/or his team in their churches to realize God opened doors through them. He used them as vehicles to change people's lives but they are not who made the changes. He had me pray for the leaders of these churches to realize He is the One that empowers people to perform miracles and He desires to empower them. 
• Two churches that are merging together. May the transition go just as He desires. May the people not be selfish in their ideas of what the church should look like but instead be open to His will.
• My pastor friend who is battling cancer.
• Pastor Kevin and other pastors who are finishing up our Hebrew Prophets class. He and others are bi-vocational, have families, have finished up their Exegetical Paper this last week and facing a Final Exam this week along with keeping up with church duties.
• For the people who will realize today...                                                                      What if I were the one to tell you 
  That the fight's already been won 
  Well I think your day's about to get better 
  What if I were the one to tell you 
  That the work's already been done 
  It's not good news It's the best news ever 

Praying is such an intricate part of my life. It seems like it is something I do more of than anything else. I am grateful for being in relationship with Him where I not only hear His voice but I walk in obedience to it. I am grateful for the people He brings into my prayers but I especially am grateful when He brings pastors and their families into them. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for a night of prayer! I need Your supernatural empowerment for physical strength for this day with the little sleep I had. Father, cleanse me so You can fill me. May Your love flow out of my words, actions, and attitude in a new, different way today. May people see/hear You instead of me today. Father, I pray for Doc to have strength to preach today. Thank You for yesterday where life seemed 'normal' for a few hours. Thank You for loving us so greatly! Thank You for working a healing in his physical body! I know You are doing that. I have faith in one way or another, You are healing him. Thank You for going before us and taking away our fear and replacing it with peace. Thank You Jesus for being Our Peace Maker! Amen.

II Timothy 1:7 - "Blessed Be The Name"/"Confidence"

What a fun day yesterday! The Lord knew I needed it. I had some snuggling time with a cute little baby girl in the morning. Then in the afternoon I experienced karaoke at an assisted living facility with friends. The evening was topped off with the submission of my Exegetical Paper and an early bedtime. I am so blessed and grateful for every blessing He gives me. This morning the moon was shining so bright it was light before the sun even thought about coming up. As I looked at it up there in the sky, I thought 'wow God' You are so magnificent! The words to "Blessed Be The Name" came into my mind...

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in

Still I will say...
Yes! I will praise Him for days like yesterday where I could feel His love all over me. I can tell there are many people praying for us through this time with the mass in Doc's pancreas. I can feel the prayers. The song continues...

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Yes! We feel like we are in a desert and need to stay close to the Living Water. We feel like we are walking through a wilderness and need to continue to allow Him to be Our Guide. The only way to do these things is to stay in His presence. We must not allow the enemy to put fear upon us. Instead we need to allow God to strengthen us through His empowerment. Woo hoo! The more we praise Him, the more the enemy will fight us but as we have found over the years, we are not just fighters but we are warriors. We are not on this journey for a short trip but instead are in it for the long haul. God is our Strength. He will supply all our needs...physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and most of all spiritually. Woo hoo!
cDear Jesus,
Thank You for Your love, mercy, and grace! Thank You for blessing me in abundance yesterday in so many ways! Father, cleanse me so You can fill me this morning. I desire to be more like You. I want people to see and hear You instead of me. The words to "Confidence" are with me this morning. Father may You...
So give me faith like Daniel in the lion's den
Give me hope like Moses in the wilderness
Give me a heart like David, Lord be my defense
So I can face my giants with confidence
Thank You for being with Doc today. May his pain lessen and his nausea be less. May You bless him with a healing in his body. Thank You Jesus for being Our Confidence! Amen.