Today is a day I have dreaded for a long time. I know there is a time for all to be born and a time for all to leave this earth. I also know when our physical bodies are done here we receive new ones in heaven when we are in relationship with God. I know these things yet it is still so hard to comprehend life without my Momma on this earth. I remember when my Daddy left us I had such a void in my days without his phone calls. The few weeks my Momma was in the nursing home without a phone started preparing me for no phone calls from her. I am so grateful for times when Pam called me while with her so I could talk to her. "I love you, Sheila Babe' will forever be engrained into my mind. Last night hearing "I love you, Grandma Sheila" will also be engrained into my mind. What a fun evening with Ben, Emily, and the kids with dinner at Ming Hing and then swimming at their hotel. Oh how I treasure time with them. I have my Momma as a great example to follow in being loved by her children and grandchildren. Last night as we were eating dinner Pam told Ben how well behaved his children are and it made me so proud. I could not agree more with that statement. As we played in the pool after dinner I was so blessed as I looked over and saw Doug and Ben talking and laughing as I played with the kids. It was just what I needed before going into the day ahead today. I know there will be tears and that's OK. God reminds me frequently that tears are cleansing. I know the tears that fall will be both out of sadness and for joy. I am so thankful my Momma is no longer in pain. I am thankful she will never deal with fibromyalgia or arthritis again. I am thankful for friends who love on me well in these situations. No matter how much my head knows the words of Ecclesiastes 3 are true my heart still hurts. Throughout the day yesterday I caught myself singing or humming "Scars In Heaven" and feeling so close to my Momma. She made me so proud with the way she embraced change. I have a picture I took without her knowing it from last summer with her watching her church service on-line singing to a contemporary song. Woo hoo, Momma! There are not a lot of ninety-two year olds that could use a computer let alone watch church services on-line. There are also not a lot of ninety-two year olds that embraced the 'new' music they way she did. I always say, 'When I grow up I want to be like my Momma' and truly mean it! I want to love Jesus like does so that I will love people like she did. I want to embrace change with an open mind no matter what others may say. I want to be loved by all who know me because they can feel my love for them. I am so grateful for these words...
The only scars in heaven, they won't belong to me and you
There'll be no such thing as broken and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now
Dear Jesus, Thank You for the blessings of yesterday and the ones ahead today! Thank You for Doug loving me so well through these tough days! Thank You for my walk yesterday with Pam, our dinner with Dan, Pam, Ben, Emily, and the kids along with our time at the hotel pool afterwards! Thank You for the way You are going to be my strength through the time of Momma's funeral today and in the days ahead without her on this earth! Cleanse me so You can fill me to overflowing with more of You. May people see/hear You through my words, actions, attitude, and thoughts. I pray Your strength over many going through difficult days. My sisters Linda, Sally, and Mary; my brother Richard; Ben and Colleen; Pete and Delores; Steve; an infant life flighted due to seizures; Cait; Rhonda; Mike; Norma Hall; Jack and Paula; Sharon Sebolt and her parents; some young ladies with anxiety; a young man out of rehab; Mary Lilley; a husband/father separated from his wife; Brooklyn; Kristen Batten; April; families in turmoil; Gay and Doug; Sherry; and many others. I also pray healing prayers over many dealing with ‘c’ and/or going through treatments…Audrey; Chrissy’s cousin; Shirley Jones; my pastor friend with daily chemo; Little Ivy; Little Judson; Little Roselynn; a young girl in our community; a lady whose breast cancer has returned; a lady diagnosed with stage two breast cancer; a lady diagnosed with throat cancer; Sue Danhoff’s husband Harv; Mr Mullett; Marybeth's friend; David; and Damon. I pray for: Rebecca as she awaits surgery; the Long family; Becky; Russ; a couple contemplating divorce and another couple having serious issues. Thank You for continued healing for Pastor Tommy and Pam! Thank You for being My Strength! Amen.
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